Lately it seems that family and friends getting married, on guest invitations, have included my name on the one to my parents that live in another town. I haven’t lived with my parents since graduating high school 8 yrs ago. I have a career, my own home and a life in a different town. I don’t have a husband or kids. I see myself as a family of one. Does the fact that I’ve never married nor have kids make me a dependant of my parents that I haven’t lived with for yrs? They know where I live. One bride, a good friend, sent an invitation to my parents with my name included on their envelope. Another bride, my aunt, addressed the envelope as “Mr. & Mrs. Smith & family”. I, nor my married-w/children sister that lives 400 miles away, did not receive a separate invitation. Are my sister and I invited to my aunt’s wedding or does the “and family” just include my younger sis that still lives at home? Is their way proper etiquette? Am I wrong for feeling offended?
2007-07-26 08:50:57 · 16 answers · asked by sugar sweet 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
that is very rude. you are an adult and need to be treated like one. you should be getting you own invitations and i am sorry people just slap the word family on an invite and assume you will get the memo. :(
2007-07-26 08:53:59 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would think most often one would just put "and guest" for all invited guests who are not married, giving them the option on whether to bring a guest or not. Obviously if they are engaged, or have been dating a long time, they would be bringing that person along with them. However, I don't think putting the guest's name is necessary. You will understand when you are handwriting out all the addresses and inner envelopes for over 200 invitations! Just remember, printed etiquette somewhere does NOT always trump common sense.
2016-05-19 02:25:48 · answer #2 · answered by alejandrina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its rude, and I myself would be offended, but at the same time, I am SURE they dont mean any harm by it. Perhaps you next time, you should give them your business card, or give them your address, so they acknowledge you as your own person with your own address and your own life.
If you keep getting acknowledged through your parents address, and you actually GO, then that kills two birds with one stone for them.
Try not to feel too insulted, just try to hint around it. Better yet, when you go to a wedding, say "Im so glad my parents told me about it, I had no idea because I didnt get an invitation sent to me. Do you have my address?"
something like that.
2007-07-26 09:02:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They should take the time to find out your correct address and send you an individual invitation. However, while this indicates laziness on their part, it doesn't mean that they do not want you to be included. Attend the wedding if you wish, and make a joke about "You know, I've lived on my own for a long time. Here's my address." If you do it with humor, it will all blow over, and the thank-you note will definitely arrive at the right place!
2007-07-26 08:59:22 · answer #4 · answered by conductorbrat 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you don't receive an invitation of your own, assume that you aren't invited. I hate to admit it, but I plan on doing that when I get married because my fiance has a wonderful aunt that has just horrible grown daughters. I'm hoping that if I add "and family" there is a 50% chance the daughters won't show up. But if I don't add the "and family" they'll be offended that I didn't ask them.
2007-07-26 10:39:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm with you. i think they are being rude and cheap. I also don't think you are in any way obligated to even acknowledge the event. you did not receive an invitation. your parents received one. if asked, you could always say your invitation must have been lost in the mail. after all you live at xyz and have for 8 years. :)
2007-07-26 09:01:58 · answer #6 · answered by busted 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they should have sent you a seperate invitation. If they didn't know your mailing address, then they could have called you or your parents to get it. They are probably just thinking "I'll save money on invitations by sending just one!" but in reality, it sends the message that you aren't invited.
2007-07-26 09:32:06 · answer #7 · answered by LSU_Tiger23 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"& family means those living under the same roof.
If you did not receive an invitation seperately from theirs, you can consider that you are not invited.
So sad that today's brides are clueless as to proper wedding invitation etiquette.
2007-07-26 09:25:21 · answer #8 · answered by Carol D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it was a VERY stupid way for them to cut costs and invite you without a guest. Either way it's rude, you're an adult and they shouldn't do it.
Maybe you can call and say "My mom got the invite and I was wondering if you mailed mine out yet, I just wanted to make sure I got my direction card!" or "I can't wait to RSVP!" or something silly like that.
2007-07-26 09:06:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people just send out a "entire family" invitation to save money. Cheap and tacky, but true.
2007-07-26 08:55:14 · answer #10 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋