A lady was crossing the road with her daughter and was crushed by a cement truck outside our office. I want to go to her funeral but there was no orbits posted following the incident in the news. On a hunch I called up a funeral home close to where we live (come to find out the lady lives not far from me also) and was told that she was cremated but there will be a memorial service on Saturday and Sunday. My questions are can anyone go to a memorial or only by invitation. I never went to one so I don't know what to expect. What should I wear? Is there something special I need to do when I go? I am hindu, the lady has a hispanic name so I am not sure what religion she might of been.
Thanks for your advice ( in advance) and no rude comments please.
2007-07-26 08:50:05 · 9 answers · asked by Unlike 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I greatly appreciate everyone's advice but for the two of you who said "if I don't know her or anything about then don't go," and "I never met her don't go." I know I never met or personally know this woman in life but It's a matter of respect. This occured where I work. This woman was with her child and I saw her around my area but that's as far as it goes knowing her. I wanted to give my condolences. This woman was terrified of crossing streets as she was hit and almost killed six years ago according to her family on the news. God bless her soul.
2007-07-27 06:45:33 · update #1
if it was a closed memorial the funeral director would have told you that when you called. any dark outfit would be ok --
2007-07-26 09:03:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have never been to anything like this. If you can contact a family member of the victim, do it to your concerns. I am not sure, if you can go to a funeral by inventation, or intvite yourself. Good question, and sorry I can't be more of a help.
If you do go, wear something nice, maybe a dress shirt and dress pants. Theres nothing wrong with that. If you wear a womans suit, that would be fine also.
By the way, is your community doing anything for the accident of the victim, like donations. If yes, get invloved.
2007-07-26 09:06:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is commendable that you would want to go even though you did not know this lady. I think if you want to go and show your condolences than you should just go. People dress up for funerals, but it is mostly the immediate family that wears all black. Bring flowers. I know your culture is very religious and it is natural for you to automatically think of her religious back ground and that shows respect. Some funerals may have a religious ceremony, so you have to decide if you will be okay with attending a ceremony of a different religion than yours. I think they would be grateful that you came.
2007-07-26 10:54:01 · answer #3 · answered by CARM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some times the newspaper will say it is a "private memorial service" If it doesnt say that, its usually open to the public.
As for clothes, wear something that would be appropraite if you were working in an office. Something dark colors. A nice suit or slacks and a blouse would be fine.
You might express your sympathy to the family. A simple "I am sorry for you loss" is always good.
2007-07-26 08:56:45 · answer #4 · answered by linda h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most hispanic people are catholic though not all. many are jehova's(in my area anyway). memorial services are for anyone who wishes to attend however, i suggest you call the church or funeral home to be on the safe side.
as for attire, something simple and tasteful is appropriate. there is nothing you need to do really. just introduce yourself to the family and offer your sympathies. sign the guest book if there is one available. the service is usually simple and talks about the person's life. sometimes there are pics and family and friends sometimes get up and say something. many times the person officiating asks if anyone would like to speak. you don't have to. very few actually do.
relax. it's short and sweet.
bless you for taking the time to do this.
2007-07-26 10:48:54 · answer #5 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be extremely nice for you to attend the memorial service. As far as dress, I think something you might wear to church would be in good taste. I've never known of anyone having invitations for these services. Also, you might wish to say something comforting to family members. It is a wonderful gesture for you to do this.
2007-07-26 09:02:51 · answer #6 · answered by Sunshine 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't even know her or anything about her, you do not belong at her service.
2007-07-26 09:24:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, i agee with the advice from Linda H ---
clothing colors should be in black or dark navy if possible ---
2007-07-26 08:58:59 · answer #8 · answered by ♥sexy momma♥ ;-) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never met her? Simple, you don't go.
2007-07-27 06:29:26 · answer #9 · answered by jackson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋