what if you're 45 yrs old, have been dating someone for 5 yrs but they're afraid of commitment and won't marry you, and you're still a virgin, and now they're saying they won't stay with you any longer if you don't have sex with them?
is there some age that you're allowed to have sex, even if you're not married, and you use birth control pills and condoms?
what are the exceptions to the rule?
2007-07-26 08:20:12 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
technically there is no exception to the rule
2007-07-26 08:56:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's the failure of this "rule" that results in a much higher divorce rate among born again Christians than among atheists in the USA. They marry younger so that they can have the sex their hormones are driving them towards so aggressively, THEN they realize that far from really, really loving the person they've had sex with, they don't actually like them very much. You'd have thought an omniscient god would have accounted for that, but that's the Christian god all over. D minus again.
We're animals. We are biologically driven to have sex. We have socialized this into rituals of pleasure and affection which, as a married person, I entirely approve of. But I was lucky to take the opportunity to choose my partner from among a number. Christians are wrong when they think that sex is the most divine thing ever, and are doomed to disappointment. It's really, really nice, and best with someone you love, but it's just sex. Dogs do it. Rats do it. Fish do it. What kind of ego does it take to say that YOUR sex is so damned special?
2007-07-26 08:43:24 · answer #2 · answered by Bad Liberal 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The one thing I have never understood is that if sex before marriage is wrong and the Bible is right what about the Song of Solomon? They were unwed lovers who made it to heaven. Their love and physical affection is celebrated. Sex can be a wonderful, beautiful thing and it needs to be celebrated. I am still working past all the years where sex was made dirty and wrong. The damage that this kind of thinking does to people is something that takes a lifetime to undo. I will never make sex dirty or wrong to my children. When it is shared between consenting adults and practised responsibly, (safe sex) then there is nothing negative or wrong about it. For us sex is a spiritual and religious experience.
Blessed be.
2007-07-27 01:07:03 · answer #3 · answered by PaganPixiePrincessVT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Erm..yeah and what if you get married and then have sex and then you find out that you do not share a sexual chemistry with your partner.What then?
Sex and intimacy is an integral part of a relationship thats formed in love and sex is the most beautiful way of expressing your love for your partner.Marriage is not a necessity for that...and signing a document of marriage does not make you love someone any more or any less.
2007-07-27 02:01:28 · answer #4 · answered by chryshal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is you, I commend you for being a virgin. God is very pleased and will bless you for your efforts & I know it's not easy.
No exceptions. I would be more concerned about a man that is threatening to leave if she doesn't put out. Is he just after devirgining her, then when he does, what is left? Before marriage it's called fornication, a major no-no.
2007-07-26 08:39:49 · answer #5 · answered by Suzy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do have to say that, if this person was worth being with, they wouldn't give you an ultimatum of "sex or I walk." And I would tell them to walk, personally.
But, if you are 45 and in a healthy relationship, then how can it really be that wrong to have sex? Obviously, I'm not a Christian.
2007-07-26 08:30:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
A Christian believes, by virtue of Baptism, that we have been consecrated to God and we belong to God. However, in marriage, the couple becomes one and are consecrated to God as one. Sexual relations is a gift of marriage. To engage in sex before marriage is to violate our consecration to God and our Baptismal vows.
On a more practical note, if a boyfriend refuses to respect his girlfriend's desire to abstain from sex, and places sex as a condition of continuing the relationship, then this is not the sort of boyfriend any lady should want.
2007-07-26 08:41:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe these guys still have a hang up on this issue.
How can you possibly make a commitment to someone without knowing whether you're really sexually compatible?
I'm sure there's a lot of bitterly disappointed fundies out there.
2007-07-26 08:34:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here's the problem with this "rule": what is marriage? It is determined by society, by culture, not by God. Were Adam and Eve "married"? I suppose God could have officiated....
Throughout both the Old and New Testament marriage was so different than it is today. A lot of times it was arranged by family members, limited to people of your own race, the women didn't have a say, etc.
Christians today seem to think that getting a certificate from the government is the same as a permit to have all the sex you want with only that one person. It is incredibly twisted, a misunderstanding of Biblical ideals.
So how do you decide if you're "married"? Could I have someone point at me and the person next to me and say "Hey, you're married!" and it would count? That's about as Biblical valid as the American method of marriage.
2007-07-26 08:27:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 3⤋
there are NO EXCEPTIONS! Hello! wake up! The dude is probably only dating you so he can have SEX with YOU, nothing more. My family has done the same thing you're about to do. My older cousin (she's 30) dated a guy for 3 yrs. he said he loved her and promised to marry her in a year, but he has to have sex with her before they get married. So she did, the next day he left her. Now she is left alone with a baby girl to take care...you don't want that do you?? It clrealy lstates in the BIble there are no exceptions for having sex before marriage. If he leaves you because you won't have sex that's better at least you'll finally get to meet a new guy who won't pressure you. Try meeting a new guy at Church groups.
2007-07-26 08:26:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
hi there
if you don't want to have sex then don't if your not ready or if you want to marry 1st
5yrs seems long so why are they still afraid of commitment??
look its your life be happy
as far as i know there is no exceptions though
at least you can marry, they don't let you if your a lesbian or gay but i still believe in god and he loves us all!!!!!
2007-07-26 08:37:53 · answer #11 · answered by laura 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋