Am I being unfair?

Question

I don't like being around drunk people. And I know how my fiance's friends get when they're drunk. So I don't want alcohol at the wedding. He does. He says his friends will expect it. *rolls eyes*

I have a lot of little kids in my family who will be coming to the reception and they shouldn't be around that mess either.

He says I'm unreasonable. Am I?

How bad are his friends? Total jack a$$'es!

They never know when to stop. When we first started dating I went to a party with him and they all were drunk within the first half hour. They'd take their clothes off and go running around naked, urinating on things. Shooting each other in the privates with rubber bands. Puking. one of them (who will be our best man) took a dump in a sock and through it at the wall. They groped me and other female guests...

robertjmr72 - It makes me sad that people feel they have to get wasted to have a good time.

Answer 1

It's your wedding. You call the shots. We had an evening wedding and did not serve alcohol for many of the reasons that you are citing. Tell your fiance that you also do not want to be responsible if anyone drinks, drives and dies. What a horrible thing to have hanging over your heads every anniversary! Also, you are correct, small children should not be subjected to drunk adults. If his friends can't handle behaving like mature adults for the evening, they are more than able to leave the reception and go get hammered elsewhere.

Answer 2

I totally agree with you but my BF is the same way, and he's friends are even worse. The problem with haing no booze is that people expect it, and its considered part of the gratitude you show them for attending your wedding. Cash bars are tacky. I had a friend who placed ONE bottle of champagne on every table and that was all the alcohal for the night. Sounded like a great idea but everyone stopped at the liquor sore before the reception and got messed up in the parking lot. Might I suggest having only beer and wine (which will dter some people), or only serving a classy signature drink (ex. sangria, or a specfic martini) that won't go over well with his crowd. Also, see if you can arrange to have alchohal served only through the after dinner party- only water and pop through dinner, and try to cut down your cocktail hour?

Answer 3

I think that since you're having children at your wedding and you already know your fiance's friends will be a problem when they're drunk that it's probably a good idea not to have alcohol at your wedding reception. I don't think you're being unreasonable. Your wedding is supposed to be about you and your husband, not a chance for your husband's friends to get wasted.

Answer 4

His friends should not expect alcohol at the wedding reception. It's not their party. The reception is a celebration for you and your fiance--not a place for his friends to have fun and disrupt the family atmosphere.

If they really want to drink, they can wait until after the reception and find somewhere else to get drunk.

Answer 5

Not unreasonable at all. The important part of this entire ceremony is to unite both of you into a single unit. If his friends prize the alcohol over the significance of the occasion, they need to adjust their priorities. In the end, this is your day (together) not his friends' day. If they want to poop in sox & throw them instead of birdseed, tell them to do so at THEIR wedding!

However, if the final decision is to not have any spirits at the reception, don't be too surprised if a few pocket flasks end-up making an appearance.

Answer 6

How pathetic are his friends?! I have never been to a wedding without alcohol. I have never been to a wedding where people got out of hand. That is a shame. Don't ruin it for everyone else because a few people are jerks. Your husband will have to talk to them ahead of time. Only serve alcohol for the first hour and then stop.

Answer 7

It's good to think of others' on your day - will there be a smoking section? Dancing section? Drinks area? Cattle Grid and bath? Weddings are a nightmare to organise and get to expectations - though with a happy day who knows what the expectations will be? It is supposed to mark the ending of one part and getting over the hurdle to the other where it is likened to 'let your hair down, and let yourselves go'. Go have some fun.

Answer 8

I have about the same problem except it is both my and his family get out of control with alcholo. So I decied that we would have beer only. No hard stuff. And once the beer was gone, that was it. I bought 2 kegs, they were gone in an hour. However, everyone then had to resort to soda and water. Which got everyone back on the right track. Maybe you should allow him to have beer only. But then again, it is your wedding and advise him if he is not paying for it, then he does not get an opinion.

Answer 9

I am not a big fan of folks drinking to excess in front of children. I would think that there are very responsible adults that will be attending your wedding and would want a drink.
If you ban alcohol those guests who truly want a drink to get drunk will find a way to sneak in booze.

Answer 10

I agree with everyone who said limit the time. An hour or two is plenty time to get a buzz or slightly drunk. That way you and your husband compromise and that's what marriage is about. I do completely agree with you not wanting it to get out of control. They sound very immature. If they do start to act up, have them escorted out. Don't let ANYONE ruin your wedding day.