ok parents I need your help... My daughter will be 11 next month and we have the biggest problem with her always being in a hurry to do things. For example, not finishing her homework or chores and lying about it so she can hurry and go play. The latest big problem that we've been having a hard time with is that she is always in such a hurry that she always forgets to flush the toilet.. and she doesn't wipe herself well. We've explained to her that it only takes 2 seconds to flush the toilet and most toilets u can reach back before even taking your butt off.. We've also explained how she can get infections if she doesn't wipe well, plus the fact that I hate washing panties with poop stains in them and it makes her stink sometimes. We know it embarrasses her when we bring it up, but she is way too old for this and it's just pure laziness! Any suggestions? I've gone as far as threatening her with having to wear pull-ups like a 2yr old since that's what she's acting like.
2007-07-26 06:59:35 · 17 answers · asked by lysamarie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
For the lack of homework and chores we did take away her sports until she pulled up her grades, it seemed to work. But softball season is over so we can't take that away now. We do take away privileges and personal belongings as well as play time or tv time so I guess it seems like we're doing all the right things. We just get very easily irritated with her because she continues to do the same things over and over after being told not to. Sometimes she wipes and throws the toilet paper in the trash instead of the toilet, I don't understand this either. And no I will not "chill" I am a very concerned parent, concerned about what's causing this and concerned about her health. As well as it is just disgusting going into a bathroom that has a toilet not flushed. Its not a porta potty!
2007-07-26 08:17:59 · update #1
It sounds like you're doing everything right and that she is old enough to understand this. Maybe before she goes out to play, you inspect her behind and panties to see if she wiped well and if she did she can go out to play. If not she has to stay in, maybe hand-wash her own panties and take a bath to get clean. After a few times of doing this, if she really wants to play she will start wiping well. I like the pull-ups threat.
2007-07-26 07:05:52 · answer #1 · answered by Precious 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Create a points/privelages chart. Get a poster board and make a big calendar. Create a check off chart of things that she is suppose to do in order to gain things. What you do is come up with everything she needs to do and have her go over the list with you before bedtime and check off the list. If she has done everything then put a star or sticker on that day on the poster board. If she doesn't complete her list then she doesn't get a star. Basically when she has one full week of stars then that weekend let her stay up a little bit later than normal or have more computer time or tv time, etc. But if she does not make a full week with stars, then take away time from those things or things she enjoys playing with.
Explain all of this to her and also make it worth her while by making it that if she gets an entire calendar (month) full of stars then she gets something special. Either a trip to the movies, a trip to a diner of her choice, a present, etc.
Now the way it worked with my Daughter was the first week went smooth, and she seemed to be enjoying it. Then she started slacking off and realised that privelages were taken away and this wasn't cool. She gradually came back into things and got her stuff back and earned her rewards and she is still on this system. It has helped a lot and it also teaches her responsiblity.
It's up to you obviously if you want to use this but again it has been successful for me and I wish you the best of luck.
2007-07-26 17:21:42 · answer #2 · answered by ~Mother Of Angels~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like the washing of her own underwear Idea and I think id take it a step further and make her clean the toilet also. they get real dirty if they arent flushed. At ten she should be old enough to understand and to do these chores.
Sit down with her and ask her why she feels like she needs to hurry. With my oldest we had an eating issue that arose from how much time they were given to eat their lunch at school. She was gobbling down her dinner like if she didnt eat it someone else would. This was because the lunchroom people were kicking kids out of the lunchroom even if they still had alot of food left.
Anyways my point is maybe they make them rush to get things done at school and she just doesnt realize at home she doesnt have to do this.
2007-07-26 07:57:51 · answer #3 · answered by curious student 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chill out, it's a phase (the wiping part) that she will out grow it. The flushing part, some kids never get that until their on their own.
Don't make a big deal out of it, you'll have much bigger problems to deal with in exactly 2 years - trust me.
Suggest you ask her all the time if she wiped and washed her hands. Show her underwear and nag her a little if she doesn't, ask her why she lied to you?
The biggest thing you need to instill in her right now is honesty. If she lies to you now and gets away with it, God help you when she is 16.
2007-07-26 07:36:33 · answer #4 · answered by Fester Frump 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is about more than the bathroom issue, so I will address the other stuff. Do not let her go out to play until you have inspected her chores or homework for completeness. If her failing to complete work extends to the classroom as well, she may have ADD /ADHD talk to her doctor about your concerns. Now for the bathroom issue. Buy her some of those flushable wipes so she can properly clean her bottom.
2007-07-26 08:04:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohhh wow.
And I thought I was in a hurry.
You should probably carry through with that threat of pull-ups or take away some priveleges - if she's watching TV and doesn't flush the toilet, tell her to turn the TV off. She needs to find time to do this, it's unsanity for starters, and it can also be detrimental to her and your family's health.
2007-07-26 07:04:17 · answer #6 · answered by myonly_oasis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's pretty unusual for a 10-year old to be acting that way. My suggestion would be to take her to see her pediatrician to make sure there isn't something serious going on.
Some children have poor hygiene when they are going through some personal issues or depression.
Most likely she is just somewhat less detail oriented than the average person and this will change as she ages. But, you should talk to a physician to make sure.
2007-07-26 07:57:58 · answer #7 · answered by Ken 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Inspect her bottom after she has used the toilet. If she did not wipe properly from front to back then its wash out the panties and then into the bath to clean up properly. You as her parent need to get this dirty habit under control ASP. She is not too old to have it spanked as well, if she is still being lazy.
2007-07-26 07:52:57 · answer #8 · answered by connie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might have to resort to the "star" system... Every time she takes her time to do whatever it is "right", she gets a star...if she doesn't, she gets a sad face...so many sad faces, and she loses playing time, (or whatever)...so many stars, and she gets a reward...
Good luck to you!!
-maybe put a cute little reminder note on the back of the bathroom door that she sees while going to the bathroom...
"don't forget to wipe and flush
or mom and dad will make you blush!" lol...idk...something to remind her would be good...
*edit* I agree w/ "Precious".... making her wash her own undergarments should cure the wiping issue... she will be grossed out, and not want to do it...
2007-07-26 07:06:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i know im not a parent but im kinda close to that age...the last thing you wanna do is inbaress her then she will not help at all she needs to learn that she cant live like this...youve got to put your foot down make her wash her close
2007-07-26 07:05:03 · answer #10 · answered by paine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋