It has come to my attention that the parents of my daughter's friend are not actually married. While I have no issue with it personally, they are currently living in base housing. They do have a child together , and both have children from previous relationships in the home. I have found out, however, that the husband is still married to his first wife. The woman of the house and her daughter are living on base, both without military ID's and his command seems to know. Normally I would not mind, but housing on this base is at a premium and I know many families struggling to live on the economy in one of the most exepensive areas of the country. Should I alert the base housing office to the situation or leave well enough alone?
2007-07-26 06:32:00 · 24 answers · asked by Annie 6 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
The military member is seperated from his spouse, but they opted not to divorce (and this is several years old) so she chould keep her health benefits. The woman of the house is on state subsidized medical care for herself and her daughter and is recieveing food stamps as well. If they were removed from housing, she and her children would simply move in with her parents (has said as much).
2007-07-26 06:52:27 · update #1
I should add that we live off base, by choice. I have kept quiet as I did not want to risk my daughter's friendship or cause issues for the younger children. However, I will admit I get upset to see limited military resources going to people who technically don't qualify..I know how hard it was when we first waited to get out military housing. Resources are so limited ..and shrinking..I wanted to get the opinions of other military families just to see what ideas they may have.
2007-07-26 06:57:10 · update #2
Report it immediately to housing and to whatever criminal investigative organization you have there (which branch is this anyway?). The kind of stuff you are aware of this "family" doing is usually just the tip of the iceberg. The member's obvious lack of integrity indicates he can't be much of an asset to his unit. Time to get it out in the open and get it fixed.
2007-07-26 10:06:42 · answer #1 · answered by gunplumber_462 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Yes this is something that I would stay out of. I think there are other circumstances here that we are unaware of. Besides he would still be able to keep housing because he has children. So only the non dependents would be required to move.
I have seen many cases where a girlfriend of a military member has moved in with him on on post housing when they have a child together. It does take alot of paperwork and going through red tape though.
Also on some posts people don't need to be signed into post anymore. Fort Stewart for instance all you have to do to get onpost is show a photo ID. They don't write your name down or anything like that. My sister was here for almost 2 weeks and I never once had to sign her in as a vistor.
2007-07-26 13:20:09 · answer #2 · answered by ckamk1995 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should search deep within yourself- while, yes, the SM (service member) is wrong for what is in the eyes of the military, adultery, because he is still legally married to another women, also remember that those children will be put in a spot also, just because housing is at a "premium". So what it sounds like to me, is that just because housing is hard to come by, and other couples who ARE getting BAH etc. etc. are living on the economy (and if its that bad, they get COLA) you want to put children in a situation where they will not have a place to stay for an unknown period of time, miss schooling, etc. etc.
While I agree that the SM's morales and values are of balance, I wonder if others arent. Maybe you should consider approaching the SM and seeing what the deal is. Maybe the divorce is being finalized so the SM can marry the other, and everything will be right. Who knows. If not, give them a courtesy warning that your going to the Housing department of the post, and give them time to settle the kids somewhere else. But most assuredly find out the whole story, or you may make an horses-tail of yourself.
2007-07-26 06:43:12 · answer #3 · answered by SgtRWMartin 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is why my wife and I will NEVER live on post.
Yes, it is a violation of regulations for anyone but the service member and dependents to live at the house.
But if they got BAH and lived off post anyone they wanted could live in the house.
Personally I don't think there should be any such regulations.
I also think that married and single should get paid the same.
I would leave it alone.
If you report them they will be forced to have the Non dependents move out, and then they will keep the housing for just the service member and the dependent child, the others will be on the street.
I had a friend who had is brother stay with him and his wife in on post housing for the summer when he was out of college. Someone turned them in and the brother was escorted off post and and the my friend still lived there, but he hated the lady who reported him after that.
2007-07-26 10:05:40 · answer #4 · answered by MP US Army 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Report them because there could be a family off post on a waiting list who really need housing, if his Chain of Command knew they are allowing adultry , hmm I have a friend right now in housing who has 2 children 4 yrs apart in a 2 bed room house waiting on a 3 bedroom , GMH is giving them the run around yet Another Soldier in the unit just married no children and GMH had them looking at 3 and 4 bedroom housing .. it isnt right, too many Military people try to get over when there are families who need housing ..
I even had a friend who told on her friend's friend ( keep tracking) because she was in a 4 bedroom lied and said her dad was living with her due to him being ill yet they have no kids and GMH removed them to a smaller unit.
You do what you feel in your heart is right only you can do that.
Armywife over 10 yrs and ANG Soldier
2007-07-26 08:49:11 · answer #5 · answered by Justice35 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a hard time believing his commander knows about this and if his commander really does know then there's probably something about this arrangement you aren't aware of. Plus, how are they getting off and on base without ID? You can only get a visitor's pass for so long.
If your source is your daughter then I wouldn't certainly get facts straight before reporting them to Housing.
2007-07-26 06:57:37 · answer #6 · answered by Debbie G 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow alot of people with alot of opinions ..hmm.. i would agree with several of them. some make good points some make other good points. but to me what it boils down to is .. HMM.. this is not your family i would put my focus on my family and i mean yeah if it ever comes up then you can say what you feel if asked but i wouldnt go out my way to try to make a difference, i bet if you look into 5 dif families out of 10 then they are doing things they arent suppose to do. Dont say anything just let them get what is coming to them because if they are doing wrong they will get caught and then you can say see i knew it ... but let well enough alone because to me you seem like a great lady and you have a concience what if you make a decision and then something happens to the kids or to the lady that would be on your mind. In life there is to many people everyday trying and prying and snooping just to point and say hey look what he is doing look what she is doing. instead take care of you and yours if it is something directly effecting your kids then that is different but this situation seems like it will unwide itself...I mean think you might not even have all the details correct so.. let it go.... Enjoy life its to short as it is. Dont put your mind to focus on things that are not directly effecting you or your children.
Hope this helps
KEisha
2007-07-26 08:31:23 · answer #7 · answered by Keisha 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not surprised at the amount of people who are telling you it's none of your business; but most of them probably don't know or care that military, on-base housing is neither a right nor a guarantee; to qualify for on-base housing you must meet the Housing Office's stipulations. It sounds like there's some shady stuff going on here, and the military will need to know about it. It's bad enough that this guy can't keep his own life straight... it's quite another for him to be dipping into taxpayer's pockets to pay for his irresponsibility. If he wants to be irresponsible, let him pay for it himself; let that government money support legitimate families who actually need it, and are bothering to abide by the rules as well as what they know is right. I'd call the housing office to find out what the rules are, and if they're in violation, call IG on them. Whether the military actually follows through on this is another matter--they're notorious for letting things slide that they really shouldn't... nonetheless, Fraud/Waste/Abuse is something they take seriously, and this counts as both Fraud and Abuse, both of resources and of money. They shouldn't be doing that.
2007-07-26 09:23:07 · answer #8 · answered by ಠ__ಠ 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Notify base housing.....Is the woman of the house married too? I'm a little lost on how that all worked out, because if this guy is still married then his wife would be living with him or does he have two houses? More details please.
2007-07-26 06:37:44 · answer #9 · answered by Jeremy J 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you can report this to base housing but be prepared to be told its not your business. and its not. but you should have your spouse go and report it, comes off better from the active duty service member. this is a big no no. he qualifies for housing he he has custody of his kids but he is not permitted to move anyone in that is not married to him or born to him and his wife. having a girlfriend while married is also a big no no
2007-07-26 08:05:25 · answer #10 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋