After having your first child, how long should you wait before having another?

Question

My first daughter is two and she is spoiled rotten, but I know she so badly wants to have someone to interact with her close to her age. And I could see myself having another, but how long should I wait before doing so. Would having two children close in age not be good for them. Would my first daughter have issues with bringing a sibling in the house? Or should I just stick to one child and focus all on her? Im afraid that if I have another, I wont love them equally?Am I the only one that feels this way?? Any suggestions would greatly be appreciated. Thank You in advance!

Thank You ALL so much for your answers! I appreciate every single one!

Answer 1

I had the exact same situation, except I din't really plan it, it just happened. My daughter was two when I had my son, and she was spoiled rotten before his arrival. If you're ready and your hubby are ready, then go for it. If you let your daughter help out with small tasks for the baby,then there shouldn't be too much jelousy.For example, I was a little afraid to let my daughter play with a newborn or feed the baby, so I let her get me the diapers and wipes, and let her throw away the stinky diapers(she really loved this!) .
Regardless, you're going to have some weird period, where you want to focus on the new baby and she's dying for attention. This is normal! I've read somewhere that before you bring the baby home, to go to a store(or have hubby do it) and buy her a toy,book,etc. and then present her with it when you come home(so that she doesn't just see all the flowers,and clothes etc. for the baby and get jelous.).
Also, make sure that you spend some time with her-just you and her,no baby. Make sure she spends some time with hubby alone,too. Read to her,play with her,do whtever she wants to do,at least for 10-30 min.'s a day, until you get more accustomed with having two kids. Making time for her lets her know that you still care and love her, even though you still love and care for the new baby,too. This might also help your sanity, after spending soo much time with a baby that only cries and poops(LOL)
And finally, don't worry about loving them one more than the other. Love is a natural thing, and I'm sure when your daughter was born, you didn't stop loving(or love anyless) you husband,now,did you?It will be the same with a new baby. You're heart grows to make love for each one,equally.
Mama J

Answer 2

All of my boys are 2 years apart ( I have 3- a 5 year old, a 9 year old and a 6 year old who will be 7 in 1 month) and I think it is a good gap. They are close enough in age to enjoy things together. Although they do fight a lot they are very close. I am very careful to show each one how much I love them individually. They all have their own room as well as their own times to do things with me and my husband. There is a huge gap between me and my siblings (10 and 12 years) I always wished we were closer in age. That's why we had them so close. The only concern was the stress that having 3 kids back to back would impact my body. I had to work closely with my doctor to ensure that I could do it safely. Also getting the weight off was an issue but having 3 very active kids has helped with that. We do worry about college tuition (our boys are in private school now) so we started saving very early and encourage family and friends to donate to their college funds or give them savings bonds instead of toys for gifts. I think if you can afford to, have another one soon. Just think if something happens to you and your hubby your child won't be all alone in this world.

Answer 3

I totally relate 100% to your question. By daughter is 2 1/2 years old and I'm TTC because I think a sibling will help her to share and she'll have a playmate. I have a sister and we're 3 years apart and are great friends (all growing up). I didn't want two kids in diapers so that's another reason I waited until now to conceive. I've heard from other parents that it's amazing how your love grows to accept another baby into your life when you thought you would never love another baby as much as your first. Hope this helps!

Answer 4

First, you should not have another child because your child wants one. You need to be sure YOU want one :-) I'd have loved to have a sibling for my daughter already, but it looks like she might never have one. So, I'd say....if you want one, go for it!

As for the love, you will have plenty :-) You gain more love when you have more children, so there's plenty to go around.

Sounds like your daughter would have a problem with a new baby, but there are ways to make that easier. If you think about it, she'll be 3 when the baby comes if you get PG right this minute. So, she'll be a little more grown up and there are lots of books and things to help with a new baby. Treat the baby like it's her baby and make her the big helper, etc.

Answer 5

You will love them equally! love is a choice, anyway, you can choose to love them equally, but it shouldn't be hard! I come from a big family, so I can't imagine having only one child. I would've missed so much in life w/out my big sis and my little bros.
There are pros and cons to both sides. I think if you have more than one child, they both have a better chance of developing people/social skills, learning how to deal w/ kids. Naturally, only children tend to be selfish, b/c they're just not used to other kids around their stuff or space.
As for years apart, some want their kids to be closer, some want them farther apart. If they're closer in age, they may fight like cats and dogs when they're little, but may be joined at the hip inseperable. I want mine 3 yrs apart, hopefully, just b/c hopefully they'll be pottytrained by then, and semi-independant. I mean, they're going from the "baby" to a little kid who can put his own shoes on, etc.

Answer 6

you should have another child it would be good for your daughter and for yourself... it will be hard on both of you at first but as long as you talk to your daughter throughout the pregnancy and let her she is going to be a big sissy and have someone to play with she will be fine