ok i know all parents fight sometimes. but mine fight ALL THE TIME! my mom swore to me and my brother that she will never divorce. I kinda want her to tho. my dad is horrible to her and me and my brother. he makes us feel like **** all the time. he made me cry on my birthday! i know my dad has some issues that he never admits to but thats not my problem. i just want the fighting to stop! i woke up 2 days in a row to have my mom screaming and swearing at my dad because of something i dont know... one of their fights a little while ago got physical and my dad ended up having this huuuge scratch mark on his arm. i know this sounds like my dad is the victim here but he always provokes us and verbally abuses us. i just want the fighting to stop. i know my mom will never divorce my dad because she told me that if she divorced him, me and my brother would be alone with him and he would ruin our lives and she doesnt want that to happen. any advice??? PLEASE HELP??
2007-07-26 06:11:45 · 21 answers · asked by Hannah G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
p.s. i've told my mom that we should go to court but she just told me that she would get shared custody with my dad. and she doesnt want me and my bro the be alone with him because she is afraid of how he will treat us. i just want my dad to go away, either he treats us like **** or does this thing wen we are all mad at him where he tries to spoil us such as "wanna go shopping?' "wanna get a new blabla?" w/e kissing up doesnt work with me and i need some help. thanks everyone who gave serious answers!
2007-07-26 06:23:53 · update #1
Dear Hannah: I don't have the book of answers but I can not
understand the terms under your mom thinks that both you and brother would be taken away from her, now listen up, I am a male ( of course) and reality is that I have had some issues with my wife and she has always been told by me that our children will never be missing a meal if she and I divorce. Also mothers most of the times have the legal right of keeping the children and the material things (such as the house and cars) to support the children until age of 18).I suggest to you since I don't know your age nor your brother's that send me another description of your problem and please never choose to run away, I will do my best to come back to you since I am in a foreign location and I have 2 daughters, a son and a wife and don't get to see them that much anymore. Also, you are very right about parents arguing but not to the extend that you describe it, I have being a husband for almost 20 years to the same woman and truly, that does not make me the perfect husband but I try to be ( at least a responsible one). Hang in there ANGEL, something positive and wonderful will turn out for you by being brave about your concern. Look up, he is watching,even for the ones who don't believe in him.
2007-07-26 06:36:33 · answer #1 · answered by monchi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are going through all of that. I was in a situation with fighting all the time too. First off, you and your brother are learning that behavior and both of you may grow up and do the same thing. Why does your Mom say you and your brother would be with your father? Why can't you go with her?
Can you sit down with your mother and explain how this is affecting you, and most likely your school too? If she refuses to leave, can she at least accept that she is there and stop arguing with your father? Your mother shouldn't be waiting for him to change, she can only change her behavior. All that screaming and fighting has got to stop. Your home should be a place that you are safe in and a place you can relax. I wish the best you all of you.
2007-07-26 06:26:46 · answer #2 · answered by do it right 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your situation is tough and I feel for you. I had a dad with a really bad temper and there was constant tension in our home. I really hated it. You never knew when my dad was going to 'go off'.
It sounds like your parents have fallen into a pattern and this is the way they communicate with each other. It's not a healthy environment to live in. From your side of it there's not much you can do. Hopefully your mom will come to her senses and start to realize she and your dad should no longer be together.
If I were you I would try to remove myself from the situation as much as I could. If they start to fight leave the house for awhile. If you can't leave the house get your mp3 player out and turn up the volume. (not too loud).
I'm sorry that you have to live with this. Just know that you're not alone.
2007-07-26 06:26:39 · answer #3 · answered by seashell 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just try not t let it affect you...although it sounds likes your mature enough right now and coping with it pretty well. And yes be prepared for a divorce because I know your moms sayin that now but 60% of marriages fall apart and I think this is the case here. Mine got a divorce and I was totally fine with it and I was only 12 at the time...except my mom had an affair haha
2007-07-26 06:15:00 · answer #4 · answered by DontTakeMeSeriously 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the day will come when kids can sue their parents, and I long for that day. Why should people be allowed to make their children's lives a misery, just because they can?
You could talk quietly to your mother, wait for a moment when they're not fighting and find out why your mother thinks your father would get custody of you. She needs to see a lawyer to find out what her rights are.
It's time your parents put their children first and if they're not capapble of doing that, then they're not fit to be parents. I've been in your situation and I know what it feels like. Kids are so helpless.
I think you need to talk this through calmly wiht your mother. Tell her you wish she would divorce your dad as you are so unhappy, you feel as though it is driving you crazy.
2007-07-26 06:17:18 · answer #5 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a serious discussion with your mother. She obviously doesn't realize that this situation is making things a lot worse for you and your siblings than it would be if you were out of the environment.
Is there some reason she thinks she would be denied custody if she left? If she's not willing to listen to reason, maybe you can speak to one of the counselors at your school. A violent home is not a healthy environment for your or your brother. Not all.
2007-07-26 06:16:52 · answer #6 · answered by Samantha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like an "intervention" may be needed - your father needs counseling, to deal with his issues. He may need to be FORCED to go.
Express your concerns to a trusted teacher or guidance counselor. Believe it or not, you are living in an abusive environment, and if it is getting physical, it will only escalate.
I know nobody ever wants to include the "government" in these things, but these agencies exist for a reason. If your father won't go on his own (and I know his type...I AM his type) then you need to force the issue....
2007-07-26 06:16:56 · answer #7 · answered by jbtascam 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are you and your brother? Assuming that you have already talked to her and they haven't stopped, it's time to go elsewhere.
Tell a grandparent, aunt or uncle or any trusted family member that you need their help stepping in.
Someone needs to speak for you and your brother because they aren't hearing you loud enough. It might take an outside perspective to get them to listen up.
If you have a pastor/priest ask that he meet with you and your parents so you can get some stuff off your chest.
2007-07-26 06:17:40 · answer #8 · answered by plastic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I kind of got the same problem my parents fight all the time it's most of my dads fault. So me and my brothers are moving to another place this Sunday and live with my mom. I think you should do the same and move on with your life with out your father i mean he can't force you to live with him. Good luck!
2007-07-26 06:25:35 · answer #9 · answered by scotty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents aren't together anymore but they always fight too. I always have to listen to my mother complaining about his other family, and I'm getting really tired of it, its so annoying, its like shes trying to make us feel bad, she always says that he cares more for them than for us. and if i try to ignore her she'll always say I'm on his side. I usually leave and read a book, makes me feel better.
2016-04-01 03:29:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋