Who do you blame?

Question

The video games the kids are playing or the kid for not having enough self-control to maintain themselves after playing a video game?

My brother and I keep fighting about this.....I'm babysitting my nephew this summer, he is 10 years old (my son is 11) My son has a wrestling video game for Gamecube (He used his own money to buy it) that my nephew played ONE time....when he went home, he was imitating the wrestling moves he had seen on the game, on his six year old sister. My brother told him he can't play the game anymore, I don't have a problem at all with that........but then my brother TRIED to tell me, that my son shouldn't play the game either.....EVER because it was a *bad influence on boys*

Its my nephews fault he can't control himself, not the games fault.

I am so sick and tired of everything being someone elses fault.....take responisibilty for your actions. This is what I teach my children.......

I didn't know how to word the question exactly, so I settled on *Who do you blame* to kinda grab peoples attention.....it definitely could be worded better...I was just at a loss....

The whole family can agree that my nephew has self-control issues. This isn't the first time they've had to do this, tell him he can't play something.....it happens with just about everything......this kid has ISSUES that his parents REFUSE to see, wanting to blame everyone else for the way their kid acts....its sooo frustrating!!!

Mom-to-Foster-child:
It was pouring down rain all day today. Otherwise we would've been at the pool, getting plenty of exercise, fresh air and sunshine.....Also, seeing that I have THREE children, I babysit the others here at my house and NO, my son does NOT lock himself up to play video games. If anything, it is my nephew that monopolizes the video games every chance he gets.
I make the boys turn off the games in the afternoon, if they've played in the mornings or vice versa.....as stated, weather permitting (90% of the time) we are at the pool for five - six hours a day...

Answer 1

Definitely your brother (and his wife's) problem with their son not having any self control. It is not your fault or the game's fault. How rediculous....and I totally agree with you....it's always somebody elses fault or something elses fault...never the own persons fault. It's disgusting....

Answer 2

There is self-control and there is discretion. Your brother really has no right telling you how to raise your kid, but we always need to be concious of what is filling our child's mind. As humans, we're influenced by many things. I do think video games can be influential, but I agree that 10 and 11 yr old boys know how they should act, and they do make choices.
If my son were behaiving like the nephew, I would tell him, first, that if he can't stop beating on his sister, he won't be able to play the game anymore. That is where he got the "ideas". If he stops the unacceptable behaivor, I wouldn't have a problem w/ the game. If he can't distinguish between reality and a game, he doesn't need to be playing the game, but that's a child-by-child basis, it's never the game's "fault".

Answer 3

It's a combination of the way the child is raised and how mature the child is. It sounds like your nephew was never exposed to this kind of video game, am I right? If so, it might explain one reason he went overboard. Your son has obviously had time to adjust to playing this kind of game ... if he had any problems at all. I say ignore your brother. Don't fight with him about the subject. If he brings it up again, set him straight; he has the right to raise his child the way he sees fit, and you have the right to raise your child the way you see fit. Period. End of discussion. You'll be amazed at how effectively you can deter any further arguments by being firm, and by turning him off if he attempts any further discussion. He might keep picking, but enough of this treatment and he should eventually back off.

P.S. Videos are NOT a 'bad influence on boys'! It would probably take 24 hours a day, 7 days a week exposure to this video with the child strapped to a chair so he can't get away for him to be brainwashed into doing things on that video! In addition, he would probably have to be beaten and tortured relentlessly, and basically taught that it's all right to be an abusive person for the game to have any effect on him. There are so many things that I was exposed to growing up - as well as my sisters - that, if what the censurers are saying is correct, would have caused us all to become cold-blooded, psycological killers! My oldest sister is in school for singing, my sister next to her is an army vet with two grown daughters, my next sister is a missionary married to a preacher who now own their own church, and they have a daughter and three grandchildren ... and I'm in school for theatre and writing.

Also, from what I understand, the Japanese culture is number 1 on the list for most exposure to sexually explicit, violent films ... yet they are also one of the lowest on the scale as far as rape, murder, or any other criminal activity.

Answer 4

There is a Japanese proverb that states ,"fix the problem, not the blame." It's not video games, music, or television, it's people. People know right from wrong, they just choose to use these items to influence their thinking because they've no imagination for responsibility. People everywhere are looking to blame something without any other way of fixing it. This leads to lawsuits and ways to protect themselves from any wrongdoing.
Our children, ages 11 and 13, play Resident Evil, Silent Hill, all kinds of creepy things, but it does not make them want to go out looking to kill anyone that looks or sounds like a zombie or whatever. And if you pass by the welfare office, there's plenty of people there that do look and sound like zombies.
My brother will not allow his son to watch Sponge Bob because he says that his son got an idea from that show about wanting to kill his mother. We all know that's pathetic. But then again, this is my brother. He has lied and swindled his way through life blaming everyone for why he's over weight and lazy.
Our boys are smart enough to know that if you screw up, you will do the time and a game is no excuse.

Answer 5

I agree with you. I have 2 boys 11 and 8. I am not that strict of a parent as to ratings and violence. If they cannot control themselves then they loose the privilege of being able to watch or play what ever thing influenced them to play in that manner. ie. If they are watching wrestling and they begin to wrestle each other they do not get to watch it for a week which is like 4 shows. It happened one time and has not happened since. I think now a days as a society it is easier for people to blame TV, movies and games than it is to take the responsibility for their own actions and behavior.

Answer 6

I agree that you son shouldn't play the game at your nephew's house (you didn't state where you babysit), but what your son does at his own house his between you and him. But beware, if he ignores his cousin by locking himself up and plaing a video game all day, then hard feelings will set in and stay. Why aren't these children involved in some type of activity for the summer / or even playing outside instead of having a tv / video game babysit them?

Answer 7

It's a matter of explaining to a child that he cannot do the wrestling moves on other children unless they agree it's okay (at his age, they can comprehend that, i.e. your son). Perhaps he should enroll his son in a youth wrestling program (only if he actually wants to). Aside from that, with any movie, game, etc. that has any type of fighting/wrestling/sport type influence in it, it is the parent/guardians job to explain to a child what they can and cannot do.

It's not as if you have your kid playing a 'kill everyone' type game that he wants to mimic lol. We played those games around your sons age but we also knew it was make believe and that doing that would only lead to very bad things.

Answer 8

Who do i blame?, not you. It's all about maturity, are you mature enough to play this game and know that when your done playing the game that you are done and that its just a game and not real? Your son seems like he is that mature so i say let him continue to play and it seems as if your nephew is not this mature yet, so don't let him play. Age does not always bring maturity, there are a bunch of jackasses out there that act no better then 11 year olds but are in thiere 20's and 30's.

Answer 9

I totally agree with you. Your brother is way out of line in telling you and your son not to play a game which you enjoy and which does not have a bad influence on you.

Your son is able to play the game without going out and hurting people or bullying people.

Your nephew is not able to play the game without allowing it to influence his sadistic streak.

No, it is not the game's fault. Next thing you know, your brother will be out picketing the video game store to stop them from selling games.

Congratulations on teaching your children to take responsibility for their actions and for successfully teaching them not to beat up on kids who are 5 years younger than themselves.

It is too bad that your brother refuses to understand this concept. Your nephew needs the guidance of a more mature understanding individual than one who only reacts but doesn't understand.

=

Answer 10

Personally, I think that your brother is overreacting *and* not really teaching his child anything, by saying that he can't play the game anymore.

Instead of teaching his child the difference between what's allowed in real life and what's allowed in a video game, teaching him how they are different, he's just skipping teaching his child anything at all.

That's where the problem is. It's not in the games. It's in the parental involvement in teaching children how to make good decisions in their lives.