I am 18 years old will be 19 in february, and everytime i have to go somewhere my mom or my dad ask me a bunch of questions over and over again and when i go to college i have to take the train and its a must that my brother HAS to escort me, which is annoying. yesterday my brother told my mom he had to work today and she screams 'OH SHOOT, but she has to go to the place' slamming her hand on the table...This is ABSURD guys, my mom yelled at me when i came home at 9 or 10 when i was with my friend eating ice cream, I remember when i was 12 i came home around 7 and she slammed me against the fridge hitting me and screaming like a crazy pereson...SHE IS THE REASON WHY IM SHY AND ANTI SOCIAL because she never made me go anywhere, i cant even go to concerts because they end late...what do i do. this is getting out of hand
2007-07-26 05:59:06 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my brother is 20 years old and when he is not home by 12 or 1 she calls him nonstop and yells at him to come home. because she is 'worried'.
also if i get a job and i want to move out she wont let me unless i get married at mid 20s, and also i have to marry someone the same freaking race as me. its not fair
2007-07-26 06:03:35 · update #1
Talk calmly to her and let her know how you feel. She'll either respect you as a young adult or reject your resistance. If she respects it--great, if she rejects it---then you'll have to deal with it until you move out and get your own place.
2007-07-26 06:03:40 · answer #1 · answered by PRIB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 18 years old and your mother should not treat you like a child. The only way that you can stop her treating you like this is if you no longer let her have control over your life. You are legally an adult and can get an apartment on your own. You should not have a curfew, and if you do it should not be at 9pm. I think that your mother has other problems that she cannot control and she wants to keep control of her children instead. You should tell her that you want to go to counseling or something like that to make her realize that this is not normal. I know you love your mother, but sometimes you have to rebel to do what's best for you. Good luck and God bless.
2007-07-26 06:07:35 · answer #2 · answered by TRUST_ME 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It hurts me to hear that you have been abused by your mother. Unfortuately our families don't resemble the happy-go-lucky people on TV. She is a real person with real issues. She seems terrified and anxious about allowing you to explore the world. And that belongs to her - not you. That is her emotional/mental state and there isn't anything you can do to change that - she has to change that. You are in a real predicament - your brother agreeing to accompany you etc. is actually enabling your mother to continue this rediculous behaviour.
Sometimes people become this way because something bad happened to them when they were younger and are terrified that it will happen to their own children. I would have a family meeting and discuss how negatively it is impacting you and your goals. Remind your mom about the responsible things you do: Cleaning room, working, doing chores, going to school etc. and it may help ease her. Tell her you need to be more independent because even though she is 'protecting' you she is actually harming you. When you have to go out and be on your own you won't really know how because she wouldn't allow it.
Although it could be a mental illness...in that case she has to seek help on her own.
Don't take on her issues and emotions - they are hers. Examine yours and keep yourself in check - that's all you can really do. Express your needs clearly and firmly and if she chooses not to do anything then it is her problem - not yours!
Take Care.
2007-07-26 06:13:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By any chance are you in a traditional Asian family? I know a lot of people that are and are going through the exact same thing. If you want your life to change you are going to have to take a stand and become independent. Stand up to your parents and if you have to move out. That is unless you want to be kept down and suppressed by them for the rest of your life.
2007-07-26 06:18:09 · answer #4 · answered by Ethan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, your parents love you and want to protect you?
OK, you need to do a couple of things:
1) respect your parents. It is just common courtesy to let them know that you are going out and about what time you ill be home, if you are going to be home. Living with people requires compromises on everyones part.
2) talk to your parents - showing respect - and just let them know that you are an adult and while you appreciate their concern and love, they need to give you a little more freedom.
3) if you want to be treated as an adult, then act like an adult - if you want more freedom, show your parents that you are mature and responsible enough to handle it.
It will be a slow process, but hang in there. As long as everyone is respectful to the other, it will work out fine.
2007-07-26 06:08:38 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry, but you have to leave, now I don't know if that's possible? But you gotta leave that house, they have you under complete control and treat you very bad. For now just play nice and follow the rules, start looking for a few friends and find a place you can stay at...I know it's not easy to do because they're your parents, but you can't live like that....and from how it sounds they won't be willling to ease up on you, I wouldn't even try to say something to them for fear that you might get more crap from them and hurt you even more. Just be careful for now and start looking for a way out....
2007-07-26 06:06:41 · answer #6 · answered by mindseye06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some parents either are scared something will happen to their children or dont trust them.
Increase your late coming slowly by 15 minutes and dont bother for her shouts. Switch of your mobile and without telling go for the concerts. But dont ever do anything wrong.
Do it few times, dont get worked up with her shouting, when she shouts act deaf. She will stop it.
But dont hate her, she is doing it only because she loves you
2007-07-26 06:11:52 · answer #7 · answered by mamakumar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And it wont be fair until you get out of her home and is able to not answer her calls or see her unless you want to. SOme parents can be over-bearing.
2007-07-26 06:06:34 · answer #8 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must DEMAND your freedom! The easiest way would probably be moving out as others have said. But this is 100% all your mom's issue.
2007-07-26 06:29:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move, thats the only way they are going to get off your back. Why don't you transfer to a college you need to stay at
2007-07-26 06:03:08 · answer #10 · answered by Alissa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋