I looked after the children of a family member for over 3 months for a quarter of regular fee - this a was a favour to her as she claimed she was having difficulties. I had been going to her home with my children as the situation was only supposed to be for only a few weeks, but she asked me to make it permanent. I informed her that she was going to need to start bringing her children to me. (As an aside, what she was paying me barely covered my transportation, the groceries I was buying to feed all the kids during the day and activities.) I won't go into details about the fit and attempted manipulation that erupted from that - she didn't want to lose the 'nanny' that came to her home! She, ultimately, chose not to bring her children to my home and I no longer care for them.
She still owes me more than a months pay - which she feels she doesn't need to pay as I, apparently, ruined her life, according to friends and family. Do I let it go or demand the cash?
2007-07-26 05:53:44 · 9 answers · asked by Calluna 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just a quick addition, it is not the family and friends saying that I ruined her life - they are just reporting what she is saying about the situation.
She and her partner make approximately 2x as much as me and my partner - we have a very good life, but we work hard to live within our means.
2007-07-26 13:20:03 · update #1
Oh come on! This is a family member!! And she told you she was having financial problems. Just let it go!!!!
2007-07-26 05:57:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If the money is needed by you I'd suggest trying to talk to them and work out a payback plan of some sort. Explain you didn't mean to cause her any hardship but you did have expenses for the care you provided - some situations require you to take the high road, be the bigger person, etc. It may or may not work.
If it doesn't then you just have to decide if the family member or the cash is more important. If you want to keep a relationship with the family member then I would suggest you totally forget about the situation and the money and go on. If she is bitter you could always send her a card or a small gift as a token that you want to mend things.
2007-07-26 06:01:21 · answer #2 · answered by TimD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it as a lesson learned. You are not wanting to make matters worse within the family so put it down as a bad debt. Perhaps someday when she realizes (if she ever does) that you were actually doing her a big favour she will pay up and actually say thanks for the help. I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for this to happen too soon though as she sounds like a kind of selfish individual. Best of luck.
2007-07-26 06:00:14 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I would ask her for it and try and work things out as it is family. But if she feels that is is just in the way she is acting and is not willing to work things out then let it go. It will be more of a problem to try and get your money than to be done with it all. Good luck
2007-07-26 05:59:17 · answer #4 · answered by FullofQuestions 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the family is being overly dramatic in saying you "ruined her life"
what about YOUR life? you were very kind to take care of her children, and she needs to shut UP!
let it go, live your life, move on... and forget about all the drama... if she's so unappreciative she can't pay you, she's not worth the effort.
you did far more for way longer than i'd ever done!
hugs
2007-07-26 05:58:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have been an enabler. Tell her this. Tell her there will be no more day care with out paying what she owes. I would doubt you can get any money from her. She has been enabled too much to not be able to take responsibility.
2007-07-26 06:00:42 · answer #6 · answered by eric l 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should ask for your cash and if she doesn't pay you, let it go. Then mark it as a lesson learned. Don't do it again!!!
2007-07-26 06:00:11 · answer #7 · answered by justus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go...leave it alone. You are in the right, just feel good about being the better person.
2007-07-26 05:57:53 · answer #8 · answered by Aubrey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends, if you are in need of the cash then yougo for it and be that annoying one who wants YOUR money, but if you are on the high life then forget about it- she might need it more than u, sorry for you lost
2007-07-26 05:58:50 · answer #9 · answered by elizabeth13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋