I have two girls one is 8 years old and one is 8 months old. I just started staying at home after working a full time job. I have so much stuff to do that I feel like I neglect my kids. I put my 8 month old in the playpen alot. I really don't know what kind of activities to play with them except toys and take my 8 year old out on the trampoline. Please help I need some advice because I feel like a really bad mom!
2007-07-26 05:33:26 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Don't let yourself get overwhelmed. I remember how hard it was switching from a full time job to a full time mother. All you can see is all the stuff around the house that needs to be done first. All those things that you never had time to do when you were working etc... My advice is to get organized, make a daily plan of what you are going to do, for example, if its the house work that has you going crazy schedule it out, Mon. clean the kitchen, Tues. clean the living room... etc get that out of the way first thing in the morning and then you have the rest of the day to spend with your kids... somethings you could do with them would be:
taking a walk
going to the park
baking cookies together
letting her pick out a movie and watch it together
go swimming
go out for ice cream
water balloon fight
there are tons of things really, you just need to get creative is all :)
as for the 8 mo, she would be pleased with just time on the floor together with you.
It's tough, but it can also be a lot of fun too =) good luck!
2007-07-26 18:05:19 · answer #1 · answered by Gin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to life with two (or more) children!
Relax hon...you're doing fine, really you are. Its the hardest, most thankless job in the entire world. There are those that wish they were at home with their kids and then there are some that wish they were at an office, away from their kids LOL
It can be overwhelming at times but I'm sure you're doing the best you know how to do. And that is all that anyone can ask of you. You'll develop a routine and things will start to fall into place. Just take things slow and easy....if you don't get the laundry finished today, thats not a big deal.....if the bedrooms don't get vacuumed tomorrow, they'll get done, you'll get it all done......trust me!
I'm a stay-at-home mom of three, babysitting two during the summer and you see where I am right now? LOL....On Yahoo! Answers.....All five kids have been fed lunch, its raining so they have to be inside...I have two playing with Barbies, one watching a movie, one reading and the other playing a video game....in about an hour, its *quiet time*....that means reading or coloring....something OTHER than TV/video games.....they'll play a board game, with me supervising....and I just might be the one to suggest that its time to sit at the table and color....its fun!!!
Things will work out....just take a few deep breaths and remember that while you're a mom...that doesn't mean you HAVE to do it all at once.....RELAX and enjoy!
Best of luck ;)
~LaLa
2007-07-26 06:06:38 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ WitchyWoman ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are good answers. The only thing I'd add is that maybe in that weekly (or daily) time spent with your 8 yr old you could do a craft or something. Playdates are fun, but working together to create something is very special. If you'd like a link or two to some craft sites, please feel free to email me.
I have a 5 yr old and a 2 yr old and have felt guilty about putting them in front of dvd's or tv to get anything done around my house. But what makes me feel better is to try to make sure I snuggle them a lot and try to spend time with each, even if it's a half hour outside with them before cooking dinner. I have put my 5 year old on a chore chart/allowance system which not only has him helping me a little (picking up his room, setting and clearing meals), but it's giving him a little money to buy all those Legos he wants!
Remember, housework will always be there but kids grow so fast!
Good luck!
2007-07-26 05:50:43 · answer #3 · answered by mamarat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness hunny. You are a saint compared to me! I'm a single mum and my son is less than six months and even I admit I need the occasional break! I hope deep down you know you are a f*cking fantastic mother!!! Motherhood is the most wonderful, special gift anybody can ever have. But you MUST remember to keep your own identity too. Of course 'the mother' is your primary identity now - that is natural. On the rare occasions I have walked down the street without my baby, I feel I am missing an arm. However a bite to eat or a couple of drinks with some friends or something every few weeks helps me remember that underneath all this, there is still a little bit of 'me' inside there. It is important to retain this, because that way you will be a happier and more rounded woman, and these types of women are always able to give more to their children emotionally than women who allow themselves to become stale and unhappy with the complete loss of their identity. You are CERTAINLY not a bad parent for admitting you need a break, you are a bloody saint for having gone this long! I know some people who have babies and are always off on holidays without them, and leave them with babysitters at least a couple of nights a week. THEY are the bad parents. Children should be number one, without a doubt, but not the ONLY one. X
2016-05-19 00:59:28 · answer #4 · answered by haley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a bad mom. An 8 month old is fascinated with a cardboard box. The 8 year old you could get some educational toys for the two of you to play with and that way you with have some quality time together.
2007-07-26 08:31:29 · answer #5 · answered by Mel M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not a bad mom. But if you think you have to put your child inthe playpen all the time look to see what is occupying your time. You did it all when you worked 8 hrs a day so think of your child as those 8 hrs. baby first tv is great to watch and interact with with your little girl. just hold her and snuggle and read to her and give her a long bath if she is sitting up let her play in the tub like a pool, take the phone with you and a book. you can plan dinner write letters or even pay bills in the bathroom while watching her play and that way you are with her.
2007-07-26 05:57:57 · answer #6 · answered by jewleit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre not a bad mother- just overwhelmed!
It is never too soon to start reading to your kids! Playing blocks, stacking toys etc. Start looking for age appropriate learning toys, and play with them. You can search the web for baby toys etc and search by age. Ask the 8 year old if she would like to earn special time with mom by helping with the baby 2, 1/2 hour spots a day or 2 times a week! She can be a mothers help but be sure you dont overwhelm or overload her! You can get a music video and dance, you can take walks and point out birds, trees etc. Remember the 8 year old may need releif from the baby too! You MUST find time with your children. They grow up so fast and you miss out n a lot! Make a schedule eeryone can look forward to! Get up, breakfast, play time, nap for mom and kids?! If you dont nap then take the time for yourself OR to get your things done. The 8 year old can have quiet time by herself with fun books, video or puxzzles all kinds of ideas here! You have to make this according to your life style and babys habits, awake and sleep times. Yes it is important to clean house and cook etc, but make sure that you have time together and time apart! Ever since my grandson was born, I talk to him. Not baby talk, adult talk weather heunderstands or not. He is two now, and everyday learns more and more and is more fun to be with. They are sooooooooooo much work! I wish in all these years I would have taken some time for myself! I dont know how I could have done it really with 7 kids! But there are ways! Get dad involved also if thats possible. BAth time or bed time can be special times for parent and kid! You couldalso join a play greoup or go the library reading groups for kids! HAve fun and Good Luck
2007-07-26 05:59:06 · answer #7 · answered by tpettee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
join the YMCA, if this is the first time you have stayed home full time, then what you are feeling is very normal, it takes a huge adjustment, make sure you spend some time outside the house everyday, even if it is for 15 minutes, find a support group near by for stay at home mothers, get out away from children once or twice a week, Join the YMCA it will do wonders, you need to tell yourself you are a good mother everyday, you are just going thru change, go to the library with your kids once a week, check it out they might have a story time, take vitamins b complex and c daily, it will take time but you are a wonderful mother keep up the good work
2007-07-26 06:40:38 · answer #8 · answered by melissa s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Slow down and enjoy your children! Is there anything that you "have" to do that is more important than they are?
Use the early morning hours for chores and stuff, that is their time to entertain themselves (it is okay to use a playpen) then after lunch, take them to the park, for a walk, exploring the backyard for neat bugs! Put baby done for a nap and mess about in the kitchen with the eight yr old! Make cookies, cakes, homemade play-doh. Let her dig in and see what happens when you mix a little of this and a little of that! Read to them, snuggle with them, dance with them.
You are not a bad mom at all, it is a simple matter of not having experience because it is new to you. But enjoy it they will be grown and gone in a blink!
2007-07-26 05:43:30 · answer #9 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A good way to spend time with your eight year old daughter is to try and make her help you out around the house if you have a lot to do. For example if you are doing the dishes have her dry them with. I have a baby and what I did was when I needed to get house work done I put my baby in his height chair and put some toys on the table and while I was doing my housework I would talk to him. He just loved that. Believe it or not now he his almost two years old and after seeing me he now trys to help me clean the house. Like he likes to push the vacuum and he likes to try and sweep the floor, he's not very good at it but that doesn't matter because we are hanging out together and still getting the stuff we need to get done.
2007-07-26 05:39:35 · answer #10 · answered by hleichtnam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋