My sister is scheduled to have a c-section and my soon to be 5 year old step daughter is scheduled to have her tonsils out. They are in different days but I can only go to one of these days off for the surgeries because of my job. I requested the day off for my sisters 5 months ago. My finances ex wife is not very friendly and I don't want to spend the day with her and her family.
2007-07-26 05:10:11 · 11 answers · asked by Jill W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Why not take half day for each. I dont blame you for not wanting to spend the day around your step childs family but I think it is important to HER that you spend some time with her that day.
2007-07-26 05:47:25 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats hard..I am a stepmom too so I'm not sure what I would do especially knowing that the mom will be there. (read my question about his mom being mad at me...lol) Anyway, if you had already made the arrangements first and forehand to be with your sister on this very important day, then that is where your priorities should be...explain to your stepdaughter that mom and dad will both be there for her but your boss won't let you take another day off of work...tell her also that since you can't be there that you are getting her a special something that she can take to the hospital with her like a stuffed bear or a pretty pair of slipper socks that she can wear through the whole procedure. That way she feels like you do still love her and you're not abandoning her. She is very smart as all 5 year olds are (i'm the mom of an 11 yr old and a 4 yr old boys...) and she can understand this as long as you tell her in her language. Good luck to all of you, your sister, your step daughter and you! God bless!
2007-07-26 12:27:15 · answer #2 · answered by Penelope 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on your relationship with your step daughter and your sister, and whether or not your sister will be allowed anyone with her at the time. If your sister is going to be unconscious during the procedure, then she really doesn't need you unless you want to be there as soon as she wakes. If your step daughter has a good relationship with you, then you should be there for her as she's a child and may need the support you can give.
Whichever the case is for you, talk to your fiance about it and let him know what you want to do and find out what he wants you to do. It may be that he doesn't care if you're there or not, or it may be that he wants you there to show your support for him since he'll be around his ex-wife at the time.
What I think is that you don't really want to be there for the step daughter and would rather attend your sister's C-section. When you talk to your fiance, tell him your wishes and make sure that goes into the decision making process.
The right thing to do depends a lot on your relationships with the people involved. Who needs you more? Answer that and you'll have your answer to your question.
Good luck.
2007-07-26 12:22:24 · answer #3 · answered by Top Alpha Wolf 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go to the birth of your niece/nephew, much more important on the family scale of life. I'd make sure your husband (and accepts on his part) and step-daughter understands the situation and the choice your making. Reassure her that you'd be there if you could and that you will be there as soon as you can and will come as often as you can. I think it will work out for not only you (your family) but the tension of the situation surround a child having surgery is already high (even tho is a relatively minor surgery at her age) and you not being there won't add to what isn't important to the situation. Plus it'll be an opportunity for your step-daughter to spend time with mom and dad in an important way. That's my opinion on the situation. Good luck!
2007-07-26 12:33:14 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family is important and that step daughter is going to be immediate family so I'd say support her. Being there for her surgery will show her and your fiance how seriously you're taking the responsibility of being a step parent. That's a very important message to send if you want the whole relationship to work.
However, that's all assuming that your sister will have her husband/boyfriend/whatever there to support her through the c-section.
2007-07-26 12:33:16 · answer #5 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go spend the day with your sister. Your place at this time is with your sister; she is after all family at this time. Let your soon to be step daughter's parents be at her bed side. They are the people she needs most at this time. Given your relationship with her mother, it'll be easier for everyone (including your fiance's daughter) if you don't go. Explain to her that your sister needs you and that you'll be thinking about her during her tonsillectomy. Tell her you'll visit her after the surgery on another day, and that you might even bring her a surprise!
2007-07-26 12:44:35 · answer #6 · answered by Victoria S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would want to be there for my sister. It is not everyday that you welcome a family member into the world and I'm sure that your sister would want you there, as well. I had a c section with my daughter (not planned) and only two family members could be there. It's not a great feeling. I think your step daughter will be fine, and as you stated she will have her own mother there with her.
2007-07-26 12:19:18 · answer #7 · answered by rosslongb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You gotta it right, go with your sister, and support her she'll need you much more. The pain she'll go through is going to be so hard on her. This has a much higher priority than anything else. Beside, you don't wanna take a day off and feel uncomfortable with your man's ex...No thanks!! But your sister will need you much more than one day, when she gets home do whatever you can to make her life easy....she'll be grateful for it...
Good Luck...
2007-07-26 12:20:28 · answer #8 · answered by mindseye06 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the other answer. Spend time with your sister since you had planned this in advance and she is expecting you to be there.
2007-07-26 12:20:01 · answer #9 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go with your sister!
2007-07-26 12:18:43 · answer #10 · answered by boredatwork 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋