How would you deal with a person who never says 'thank you'.?

Question

Do you address the issue or just never do anything nice for them again? And if you do address the issue, what do you say?

This person is an adult in their 30's with a child who acts the same way.

Taco- I didn't notice it the first, second or probably even 10th time. But this has been going on for over a year and I knew that something wasn't right because I do a lot for this family. Then it dawned on me that she has never once said 'thank you'.

Answer 1

Manners are a learned behavior. They have to be taught because they go against our natures to optimize and just take what we can get. However they are important because they help us maintain the fact that societies are more important than individuals.

I would say, if it's important, stop "giving" opportunities to them where they have to say thank you. Gifts, favors, etc.

If they bring up the fact: "You didn't bring me a gift this time." then just say that they never said thank you so you just assumed your gifts weren't important.

If they are a real friend, then they will open a dialog and resolve it. If they are just in it for the gifts then you'll start getting thank yous, and if they turn out to be obnoxious about it then you know they weren't the sort of person you wanted to be friends with in the first place.

Answer 2

Do not address the issue directly it will cause a big fight. At 30 they should have manners, unfortunately they do not and their children will not either. If you get the opportunity and you are together and lets say you go to the mall or you hold the door for someone, point it out if the person does not respond with a Thank You and how rude people are. Or you can make a statement like I was at the store and I let this women in line in front of me and she didn't even say Thank you, I can't believe how rude people are. She'll get the message, whether she reponds is another issue I find many, many people are rude today, they just were brought up wrong.

Answer 3

It may depend on what I did for them. If it's something "small" like opening a door for someone, I just blow it off and think to myself they were never taught the right thing to say, or they're just "too busy," or too shy, or maybe even they think they're "too important" to say a quick word of thanks, but it won't stop me from opening a door for them again, or for anyone else for that matter.

Some people just never learned about manners. I teach my boys the same thing I was taught to do, and they receive immediate compliments to reinforce their behavior, I just wish more parents would.

As to your question regarding your friend and child, I might let slip a little sarcastic, "You're welcome!" the next time. However, another way you can make this work, may be to address your concern for the welfare and upbringing of the child, who is still capable of learning the right things to do and say (whereas the 30 year old may be beyond hope).

Here's what you do: Bend your knees or kneel down, so you are at eye level with the child (talking to them this way will help them accept this message, rather than down to them as a child) and say, "When people do something nice for others it's polite to say 'Thank you,' to which the other person replies 'You're welcome.' I think your Mommy/Daddy may have forgotten that." And then get up and walk away. The child will approach Mommy or Daddy with the much-needed quick lesson in etiquette (or an appropriate reminder at least) and then hopefully they'll change their behavior.

You can always hope the person will realize the error of their ways on their own and correct their own behavior, but when their child approaches them with the question of "Are you supposed to say thank you?" nearly all parents will want to teach their child the right thing to do.

Good luck!

Answer 4

that's frequently suitable to assert thank you. it is much extra suitable for a guy or woman to return a desire a approach or the different. After distinctive favors have been won, the guy ought to furnish a card to you, or supply a small token of appreciation. nonetheless stable pals do not frequently hardship with such formalities. a stable gentleman buddy of mine in many situations says that gents comprehend the thank you to ignore the undesirable manners of yet somebody else. And it is not even confident that your buddy is definitely appreciative. So supply your self credit for doing the stable deed. And thank you for helping your buddy.

Answer 5

You can get the point across to her and at the same time not tell her directly. When she has her child with her, offer him a toy to play with and when he takes it and begins to turn around to walk off, touch his arm and say "what do you say?". If he is clueless than say "Thank you, Ms, {insert your name here}". He will start to make a habit of it with some reminding on your part and hopefully the mother of the child can take a hint.

Answer 6

Whenever someone doesn't say thank you (ie: when I hold a door open for them) I just say "You're welcome!" in a really friendly voice. They usually get embarrassed and say thank you. I don't know if they ever say thank you again after that...but eh, it's a little satisfaction.

____Just out of curiosity...I'm not the only one that had this answer, yet I'm the only one to get a thumbs-down...what gives?

Answer 7

OMG! This is a huge problem with my husband. His mother never taught him, or his siblings any manners! None of them say thank you, please, excuse me, or anything. He is getting better since we gor married, but sometines it droves me crazy! When it got to the point I couldn't take it anymore I just wouldn't do anything for him until he said please, thank-you. Now he does it about 65% of the time and is getting better. He is also getting much better about chewing with his mouth closed!

Answer 8

I would continue to do what's right.

If they continue to be unappreciative, I would smile and say "Oh, by the way? You're welcome!" Eventually they'll get the hint. If they don't, then I would probably back off the favors, etc.

Answer 9

Tell him off. Say: "Your Welcome" the first time, then if he doesn't say thanks the next time say: "Look, nobody's going to do you favors if you don't use manners. Your setting a bad example for your child, stop it. Your not going to do well in your career life if you don't say "please" and "thank-you". You are a grown adult and you need to set a good example."

Hope that helps!!!

;)

Answer 10

Just come right out and ask - "Why don't you ever say thank you?" See what happens - you are not the one with bad manners and it's a shame she's passing this onto her kid.