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we have asked for the necklace back and he just smirkes and says he hasn't seen it, but understand this is not the first time he has stolen something he, took my husbend and i's wedding rings off our coffee table and tole us that we were not old enough for them (we were 24 and 28 with a child). eventually the rings were returned, the thing with this necklace is i had it specially made for her, you see her name is egyptian so on one side is her name in hyroglph on the other is her name in english, she has had the necklace since she was 5. the only reason she even took it off was because we went to the lake to swim, and she didn't want to take a chance of loosing it in the lake, so she wrapped it around her glasses and left it on his kitchen counter when we got back her glassed were the but no necklace. and he lives alone with no pets or anything he's the only one who had access to it.

2007-07-26 04:20:49 · 24 answers · asked by tempcat6 2 in Family & Relationships Family

my husbend has tried to talk to his father about it but to no avail. and no my father in law is not senile or have any other kind of mental issue that may in some way excuse his actions.

2007-07-27 08:10:13 · update #1

24 answers

Ok I know first hand how delicate this situation can be. Hun you need to flip your lid on him tell him this is as far as it goes, you will not allow him to steal from your child! If he does not return your daughter cartouce (that's what they are called tho i prob spelled wrong) you will press charges. You need to let your hubby know that you love him and respect him but he needs to stand up for YOU and your CHILD and confront his father directly. Let your father-in-law know that you will stop letting him see his grandchild if he can not act like a grandparent. I know this is a hard choice but i know you can find the strength courage and wisdom inside of you to do this.
GOOD LUCK! =)

2007-07-26 04:47:49 · answer #1 · answered by LILLIE K 2 · 0 1

Sounds like dear old dad-in-law may be a clepto. Now, this is your husbands dad, so you need to talk anything over with him before you decide to take action. First thing that should be done, is you and your husband should privately sit dad down and let him know that his behavior is innapropraite and that it's no fun not being able to trust him. You could also ask him if there's a reason he's doing this, and possibly look into counselling about this. Because it sounds like this is deep seated. You should also ask him if it's just you guys or if it's other people that he's taking stuff from. He may have a compulsion and need help with it. If not, he might be trying to get away with it to hock it off because he's having financial difficulties. It's really tough not being able to trust family, so you and your husband need to address this problem and do everything you can to stop it. I hope this helps, and I wish you sunny days!

2007-07-26 11:27:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

This is a really tough situation, but I think it should be left up to your husband to do something about it, being that it is his Father.
He might want to tell his Dad if he keeps stealing from you that he's not going to be welcome over to your house any more being that he can't be trusted.
Then you might have to go for a little while of not seeing him until it would sink in that you are really serious.

As for making him give you the necklace back, the best part for doing that is to try to make him feel guilty about it.
Maybe let him know how upset your daughter is about losing the necklace because it was so sentimental to her. Hopefully being her Grandfather this will bother him.

Good luck :)

2007-07-26 11:29:59 · answer #3 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0 0

If he won't listen to you about returning it then your husband should talk with him and force him to return it. If he refuses to do so then you might have to involve the police and possibly charge him with theft. He has no right to take things that are not his. You do not mention why he takes these things other than telling you your not old enough to wear wedding rings. Perhaps he has a problem with stealing or substances and needs to steal things in order to help his habit. Or maybe he just feels justified because he thinks that his granddaughter might lose this necklace and wants to keep it safe for her until she is older. Regardless of his believes or reasons the fact of life is that he has no right to behave in such a manner. And to take things from his family members is in my opinion the lowest class act around. Good luck and I hope your daughter gets her necklace returned without having to have her granddad charged.

2007-07-26 11:28:53 · answer #4 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0 1

A Shame indeed. I would be curios to know your husbands take on it. I would ask your father-in-law to please keep and eye out for it because it is very sentimental to your daughter. I would'nt start accusing though, that's never a good thing unless you have proof positive and everything aside he's still family. It sounds like though you need to be very careful around him and make sure you are on guard when he is around your valuables definetly don't leave him alone around them. You may just have to chalk it up to lesson learned if you want to keep the peace.
Good Luck!

2007-07-26 11:36:29 · answer #5 · answered by D 2 · 0 0

I suggest you both let him know (and mean it) that you can no longer tolerate his thefts. Tell him that by taking this item and not returning it, it shows his continued lack of respect for your family and therefore you cannot continue to associate with him. He has hurt his own granddaughter (not to mention you both) and you cannot allow him to continue to do so. Say you wished it was otherwise but it is his choice by his own actions. If the item is not returned, say your goodbyes. It sucks to have a relative like that but it would suck more if you allowed him to damage the precious heart of your family. Good luck!

2007-07-26 11:27:41 · answer #6 · answered by mummy heffalump 3 · 0 0

if it's your father in law - tell your husband that you think this is childish of him and he has no right to control your lives or your daughter's for that matter. maybe your father in law needs to grow up a little bit and realize that things happen for a reason and you two are together and you have a child and that isn't going to change so if he wants to be in your lives then he needs to act like he wants to... if he doesn't then I'd keep your child away from his negativity and his poor example.

2007-07-26 11:26:26 · answer #7 · answered by YourBrownEyedGirl 2 · 1 0

Get her a new necklace to replace the old one.

Never, ever ever leave anything of value in reach of your father in law. If you don't want to lose it, put it in a locked safe to which FIL has no access.

Never, ever, ever allow FIL access to your valuables in your house.

Insist that your husband deal with his cleptomaniac father. If you have to, call the police as some have suggested.

Sick, evil man.

2007-07-26 11:26:24 · answer #8 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1 1

He has no right to take what is not his. This is sealing and I would tell him he needs to return your daughters necklace. I would then distance myself as I would not have a thief in my home family or not.

2007-07-27 13:21:13 · answer #9 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0 0

You have a very strange father in law in fact I would be leery about him altogether.
Forget about the necklace, have a new one made for her. But it might be wise to severely limit contact with this nutcase. What kind of grandfather does that to his grandchild?

2007-07-26 11:37:01 · answer #10 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0 1

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