I've known this guy for almost eight years, and we've been friends for over seven years. He's been my best friend, the one I turn to first with both good news and bad. For the first three years of our friendship, both of our mothers thought there was something between us, but there never was. I'm in the process of getting a divorce, and lately I've been thinking of my friend in a more-than-friendly way. I know that we're compatible, because we've had such a close friendship for so many years. I'd like to start dating him after the divorce is final, but I'm terrified of it not working out and losing my best friend. I'm also scared of telling him how I feel, and he tells me he doesn't feel the same way. I think that could totally change the tone of our friendship. I'm really attracted to him, and I'm scared of acting on that feeling, because he's the best friend I've ever had and I don't want to lose that. What should I do?
2007-07-26 04:13:17 · 17 answers · asked by emilyumo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
definitely wait till after the divorce ... that way, there will be less baggage and obstacles starting out ... then be honest with him (and yourself) about your feelings toward him ... take it slow and HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS ... let things progress naturally or not progress as the case may be ... good luck
2007-07-26 04:16:43 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait a bit and make sure you just aren't rebounding. Since you're getting a divorce you're losing the companionship you had which makes your close friendship with him seem a LOT more attractive to you. It could work out, but it could also tank once you wear off of the rebounding.
Wait a while and see how things go. See other people for a while then if you still have the feelings go for it.
2007-07-26 04:20:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really need advise (although seeing how you know the right answer anyway i doubt you do) don;t do this, you never know how it will turn on you. You might love him as a friend and once you'll be in a relationship a whole other perspective will open up and you'll see him in a different light and not necessary a good one. If you value the friendship stay away from the relationship.
2007-07-26 04:18:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not just start doing some things together and turn on your charm and see how he responds. You might be finding him attractive because you are in an insecure time of your life and he represents security. So, don't jump to conclusions. Relax and see where it takes you. Don't force it with some confession of love.
Even though you have know him this long, you need to give it time and also a lot of time if you two start a committed relationship. People in romantic relationships act differently than in others, so you need to give it time to mature.
2007-07-26 04:18:38 · answer #4 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to what ur instincts tell u. I have been there before and my friend and I only dated one year and broke it off because it was like dating my brother but we r still close and act like nothing ever happened! In other words I would so go for it! They r the best husbands! Good luck!
2007-07-26 04:20:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oooohhh, that's a hard one. I'd say weigh the consequences, and take it slow after the divorce is final. Wait and see if he asks you out... then it won't be akward, and I think after your divorce is final, he'll make a move if he's feeling the same way as you.
2007-07-26 04:19:27 · answer #6 · answered by kmcoffeegurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your friendship , It could totally ruin your friendship, friends are so hard to come by. Friend are someone to cherish. Talk to him it's always best to be honest with your Friends. I might work out ,might not but atlest talk to him about your feelingg . Best of luck to you...God Bless.....
2007-07-26 04:23:08 · answer #7 · answered by Tina the cat lover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that the divorce is really hard for you and you need someone to support you, then take it up from there! Good luck!!!
2007-07-26 04:16:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your willing to risk it id say hint around. it really tricky with a bestfriend. ru sure that you really want to go out with him and that your not just reaching for the next best thing after your divorce. i suggest that you wait til the "D" is over go out on a date with someone eles and if you still feel like going for it then hey go for it. just go cafeful and slow see how he feel.
2007-07-26 04:26:47 · answer #9 · answered by ericastar_03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With your divorce I think its a dangerous time to lend credence to your feelings or act on emotion
2007-07-26 04:16:44 · answer #10 · answered by temerson 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋