How do I get my brother in-law out of my house, please help?

Question

Well my bro-in-law has been living with us for almost a year now rent free. This was suppose to be temp, til he could get a place. I'm beginning to feel hopeless about him leaving. My husband helped him get a job, even gave him a truck to use this past year. My husband has talked to him and his bro says he's looking. I think he has it way too easy. He has kids over every other weekend and they make messes and it seems like I'm cleaning up after them and I'm tired of it. My husband has been gone for work for 3 weeks and he has not offered to do anything to help me out. His gf sleeps over everynite. He borrowed my husb. Jeep because the tire was flat in the truck, returned it with no gas I didn't even get a mile away from my house without breaking down. I just feel like he is taking advantage of us and it's starting to interfere with the relationship between my husb. and I because I expect him to talk to his bro about it, cause it's his bro. It's making making me bitchey.HELP

Answer 1

well keep asking him about the job if hes found one or if hes looking and also get him the newspaper and keep on bugging him about it so he can get tired of it and leave. and also start complaining about how your tired of cleaning and doing all this stuff and that you never get time off from doing things in your house. he wil get the point sooner than later and he'll leave. also talk to your husband about how wrong he is doing supporting his bro that is a lazy a z z. and that your tired of caring for him like if he was a 15 year old.

Answer 2

This is what you tell your hubby. Honey, your bro has lived with us for a year. I agreed to it because we were going to help him get on his feet. To date he has saved no money and this could continue indefinitely. It's time for tough love, because the situation is starting to wear me thin, and I dont' like us being taken advantage of. So let's give your brother a date, say two months from now, and let him know we will help him with the downpayment on an apartment. I'm not his mother, and he apparently doesn't have enough motivation to make these changes on his own. This is to the point that it is interfering in our marriage. I've been generous, patient, kind, loving and now I"m just tired of being used and getting resentful. I'm depending on you to put US first now, we've given it a shot and we've been beyond helpful, but now you need to put our family first." Then see what he does. If he doesn't do it, then perhaps at the two month period you need to get some boxes and packing stuff and start packing YOUR stuff. When he asks you what you are doing, tell him since he didn't do what you asked him to do, calmly and with dignity, you are taking matters into your own hands and MOVING OUT.

Answer 3

I have been on both sides of this fence, You need to be honest not bitchy, Nothing is worth interference between you and hubby. Not even brothers. Give him a date to be out and help him look for a place if you have to. Do not become a slave to your bro in-law by cleaning up after him and his kids, your hubby should not allow this to continue. The best thing is not to become an enabler to him. If he does not make any attempt to change things after your talk with him then start charging rent and set down the rules and not allow the kids over unless they pick up after themselves and set rules about the g/f as well. If you make it too comfortable then there is never any motivation to make a change.

Answer 4

Discuss this with your husband - it's HIS brother after all.

Together, go to a lawyer who is familiar with the rental laws in your area and have him draft a formal terms of eviction - which includes return of the truck in good working order.

Have them served on your brother in law by the sheriff.

Then, on the appointed day, put his things out on the curb and have the locks changed that day.

Upon receiving eviction notices, your BIL will cry. He will plead. He will become sullen. He may even become abusive. Ignore him. Tell him this is the way it is. Since he's abused his brother and your hospitality, he is not a welcome guest anymore. If he becomes abusive, call the police and swear out an order of protection against him.

Now, this will cause some terrible fights within the family. Be prepared for Mother to cry - for his other siblings to cry - for his ex wife to cry. Just make sure your husband is on your side with this.

Next time someone begs you for charity - make sure you have a lease and a move-out date in writing.

Answer 5

seems like you may have asked this question before? if not, it's similar to another one.

you and your husband might consider getting together to have a discussion with his brother as soon as possible.

when we allow others to come into our homes without setting ground rules BEFORE they move in, it's a recipe for disaster. people take advantage, as you've found out for yourself.

you and your husband might tell him that you expect him to clean up his messes, respect your home in whatever ways you decide... consider giving him a time limit to move out, as well.

it was very kind of you to offer him a place to stay, but without "rules" and expectations, our guests will eventually use us up!

take care of YOU and your family -- and stop letting your brother in law use you.

hugs

Answer 6

If your husband is unwilling to deal with the situation then you deal with it. Don't clean up after your b in-law or his kids. When your husband comments let him know that you are not here to clean up after every waif and stray he decides to let into the house.

Stand up for yourself.

Answer 7

you need to get him out of there,he is not going to find a job,your marriage is feeling the back lash of this,he is a free loader,with no intension of getting a job,