Why can't i seem to move on.....HELP!!!?

Question

Ok, he drank every weekend, hated to work, slept all day if he could....but we had a blast together, and i love him dearly. he told me about 3 weeks ago after i was saying that i wanted more, he loved me and was just not ready to grow up or move out of his parents house....uhhhh hello he is 30yrs old. I am 35 with a 13 yr old, and i came to realize after lately bickering alot and him always drinking and sleeping and so on.....that i must go. Oh i forgot to say that while we were bickering, he punished me for 3 days and would not answer his phone, return my calls texts or emails....so thats when i flipped, i sent him a text basically saying that my patience has run out and that i dont deserve this....take care. Well of course within less than a week i missed his skinny ***, so i started calling, no answer sent texts no answer....sent and email last night he finally responded saying he cant talk to me anymore...so i get it, but it hurts alot how do i move on, now i he is gone?

Answer 1

The best thing to do is move on, i know it hurts but you have a child to think about also, and she does not need to see her mom getting treated like this, any way you are better then this and deserve much more then he can give, you, ..

You just start speaking with others and going out alitte take your daughter to the movies, nice guys are all around, get someone that respects you and your child, and you will do great,

Good luck with it all, take care :))))))

Answer 2

Wow, you really like to be punished, don't you? There is an old saying, that goes something like, "It's amazing that people do things over and over the same way, yet expect different results". So, the best way to get over him, is to change something. Don't go to the same restaurants and bars, but try some place new. maybe you'll find someone else that is even better than his skinny***. Alternate what you do. Instead of sleeping till noon, try getting up at 9 am and going shopping or whatever. A change in activities should result in a different outcome. What's the worst that can happen? You'll fall back in the same situation that your in now, and nothing will change. What is the best outcome? Everything will change for the better, and you'll forget all about him.

Answer 3

This guy is going nowhere in life! Why would you even think of being with someone like this? He is a alcoholic and very lazy. You don't want this type around your daughter and yourself. There are many great men out there that are looking for someone with a ready made family to take be with. Concentrate on your own life and your daughters, and set high standards for the both of you. Find people that are actually "going places in life" and have consideration, respect for other people. Forget about this BUM, you deserve much better! He is only looking out for his self living at "Mom & Dads." He will never grow up or stand on his own two feet!
Cocoa

Answer 4

He treated you like dirt, and that is just awful. "Punishing you" by not emailing, phoning, texting is just cruel, not to mention the drinking and the laziness. It's hard for you to move on because you do not any better than that that he has given to you. You deserve a better man and he deserves a kick in the @$$. Your child also deserves a role model, and a lazy drunk is no model for your child. When you are actively looking for someone, they never show. Be patient, and calm, and realize that someone will be your man before you know it and hopefully he will be 180 degrees different from the "boy" you had before. Apparently, he couldn't value the lady you are. Eventually, he will realize that and by that time, you will have moved on and be ever-thankful that you indeed did.

Answer 5

The hurting won't last long believe me. Get involved in some activity, some volunteer work, or take a drive to another city and just look around. Get your mind off of this jerk. You are so much better off. If you knew today how lucky you are you would be doing cartwheels! Don't ever get involved with another man who lives with his mother!! That should have raised a red flag immediately. He only wanted the sex and not the responsibility. That you stayed with this loser and that you miss his skinny A$$ tells me more about you than about him.

Answer 6

U deserve way better than that! To the sounds of it he acts like he is a child! U need a man that is older and can be there for u when u need it! He also needs to understand u like u understand him. I know the feeling of having to get over someone can hurt but think of the bright side u have ur daughter and really that's all u need! Good luck and I hope I helped!

Answer 7

You need to go see a therapist. You're experiencing unhealthy co-dependency issues, which are rendering you blind. You are sacrificing too much of yourself for the relationship, while on his end he is sacrificing nothing. The main reason you won't leave is because you're too afraid to be alone, and you have gotten use to his companionship. You may feel like no one else will take you, and you're settling for the only thing you think you can get...that's just a way to justify you're co-dependency. LEAVE HIM!! What you are doing is essentially emotionally abusing yourself. I've been where you are, and I have made a vow to myself that I will never put myself through it again.

Answer 8

Okay, so you've realized that you deserve better, right? I hope so. Think about how angry he made you. He ignored you completely, I went through the same thing...being ignored. It's very childish...you don't want to be with someone who acts like a child, right? You want someone who knows how to communicate with you. He isn't worth your hurt. There are men out there who will make your heart sing with happiness. Just need to learn to forgive, forget and keep looking for that special man...who is worth your time.

Answer 9

first of all honey, I know you can do better. At least get a man who has his own place! Why would you put yourself in a situation like this? Get a REAL man. Not a little BOY. I know times may have been fun, but do you really want to have a relationship with someone who is obviously playing children games with your time and mind? Forget about him, he sounds like a loser. Get a MAN who can take care of you, or who is willing to commit to you without breaking your heart.

Answer 10

Yeah, and then just when you think you're starting to move on, he'll call, and the two of you will play another round of sado-masochistic, psychodrama Playhouse 5. You're letting the sex dictate this pathetic relationship. Until you really have a better opinion of yourself, you're going to allow this kind of behavior which passes for a relationship. You have everything you need inside you to move on, but your low self-esteem keeps you from calling on it.