Should I move?

Question

Ok here's the deal. I'm a 21 year old college student living with a controlling dad. My life is a living hell because he nicks and picks at every little thing I do. He even gets mad at me because I stay out all night. The reason why I stay out all night if I stay out past 10 is because he didn't want me coming in late like 3 a.m( you know respect the house stuff). When I told him I was moving and my plans he blew up and started tripping on me(Called me stupid and crap like that blah blah blah).You guys have pretty good idea on how controlling parents act.

Ok , Me and and two friends got a deal on a apartment for
$560 a month. I've been planning this for while. By living at this place I would have to commute until may of next year, then I would be going to a school in that area. The commute is a total distance of 32.14 miles. Should I do it or wait till I'm done with school in the area that I'm in? extra info:I have a 219 car payment and I have a $4500 loan support

Answer 1

do it. unfortunately your dad expects you to respect him, without respecting you. youre grown, and he needs to remember that he's taught you how to live... and now he's bringing you down. how can he expect you to live a healthy successful life by telling you youre stupid??? youre not the one who's being stupid honey.

Good luck.. the apt. sounds like an awesome deal, i think you have planned this out pretty darned good. you smart cookie!!

Answer 2

You definitly can do better than the environment that you are in. I have questions though:)

1. Is the rent $560 total or each person? Also remember phone bill, electric bill, gas bill, cable bill, groceries...it does add up. Expect to pay another $150 a month for your share of the above costs. Plus entertainment costs (movies, going out for drinks, dinners...)
2. is your potential roomate going to school with you? Is there someone nearby that you can carpool with? If not, can you afford the gas? I drive about 40 miles a day total to and from work, and I fill up my gas tank about once a week. It adds up quickly!
3. Are you working? If not, consider a part time job to help pay utility bills and help with gas money.
4. Is there a place closer to school? Lots of apartment complexes near campus have great deals to get you to move in. I lived in a beautiful 4 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom, 3 story townhouse for about 400 a month when I was at school. Consider looking closer to school.
5. is there another family member or close friend that you might be able to move in with for a while?

In the end, it might just come down to finances. Can you afford it? Or will you have to work too much to keep up with classes?

It is a tough choice to make, but it sounds healthier for you to move out and into a more positive environment.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

I think moving out is the better choice... you are 21 now and it is time for you to start your own life without being scolded for having fun. If you do end up moving out, make sure you and your dad stay close because it is really important to have a relationship with your parents and he is one person in your life that will always be there. I think your dad is just having some trouble letting you go, if you do move out, go see him at least once a week so that he doesn't feel like he is being totally deserted.
I hope i helped you out some, best of luck with college and dealing with your Dad

Answer 4

that sounds liek a pretty good deal for an apartment, do you think you could get it again if you decided not to move? I think you should sit down and have a talk with your dad. If you can handle the payments, don't mind the commute, and REALLY feel like you need to get out of the house I would do it. But if you have to sit in traffic to commute and waste gas, and are not sure about the payment situation then it would probably just be more convenient to live at home until you are done with classes. but definitely have a talk with your parents

Answer 5

Stop using your dad as an excuse to move out. Be honest with yourself and admit that you simply want to do what you want to do and you don't want to answer to him. That's ok at 21, if you can support yourself. Who is paying for your college? If you are, then go for it. If he is, well then he might stop if you move out, you need to plan for that. There is more to living on your own than rent, your car and your loan. What about utilities? Your car insurance and taxes? Health insurance? Food?

You can't have it both ways and frankly its hard to go to school and support a household. You need to figure this out before you do it, once you do, there is no going back.

Apologize to your dad. Its not his fault that he's having trouble seeing the respect in your staying out all night while living in his house. Maybe he remembers what being 21 is like and he wants something different for you. You know there isn't a manual that comes with kids that tells you about the changes in parenting young adults. We have to wing it and we make alot of mistakes. Your dad isn't being controlling, he simply is ignoring the fact that you are a grown man, because you aren't acting like one. Responsible men do not concern their fathers by staying out all night. Its disrespectful to the guy paying your bills. When you are paying all your own bills, then you can be as disrespectful to yourself as you want.

Answer 6

In a way it is stupid because you have living support while attending college which you do not appreciate. So, it's probably best you do move out because you are refusing to accept that your parents (the homeowners) do not want anyone going in or out of their home at 3 am. They don't have to give you a reason altho most adults know why.

Answer 7

Just dont do it , if u gonna do that you have to face more restriction from your dear daddy . why not u concentrate on your future rather late night parties .If u will achieve something in your life then nobody will say anything whatever you do. so get some support from your father and let the life going on.. BEST OF LUCK

Answer 8

You sound like me.. my dad is a prick too most of time, same situation with school and everything. I'm gonna just stick it out one more year and deal with the b.s. it will be worth it in the end, financially, I feel.

Answer 9

It will be though either way you go. If you have handled you dad this long, you can continue till school is done and save you some money.

Answer 10

Unless your Dad is beating you, please use your head as far as finances go. If you truly have a solid plan then do what you must. It doesnt sound like your Dad is so bad, wait until your one. Read tjnstlouismo answer, I agree.