I am a 22-year-old guy. Recently, I won my tribunal. My mom said I won because Buddha has looked after me. She said " I promise Buddha to take me to the temple if I win the tribunal. She asked me to worship Buddha with her in the temple next Sunday. I said I am not a Buddhist and not interested in it. Then she said I still need to go because I'm her son.She said no matter what religion a person practises, he/she needs to say " hi " to Buddha once they entered a temple. She also said I didn't respect her. She also threatened to cut off her financial aid to my undergraduate course fees . She lost her temper and said I will go to hell one day.
I feel offended because I think she tries to impose her religious view on me .Is it weird for me to feel offened ?
Also, what should I do now ? Any suggestions ?
2007-07-26 02:17:16 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Forcing religion upon another is a load of crap. I have noticed with people over the years if you do not follow their belief system whether it be politics, religion, or just a point of view, you're hated for it.
Just ask her how she'd feel if you forced a belief system on her. For her to use financial aid or anything of value over your head for not wanting to participate makes her a mere traitor to the religion. She should accept you for who you are and want to be and keep it to herself instead of threatening you with disconnecting funds.
As far as hell goes, she may be going for forcing religion and passing judgment upon you.
Faith towards god or Buddha, whatever, is what counts, not religion. Religion is just a word. Religion has church/temple rules and then there's God's rules. That's confusing enough.
I have had judgment passed on me like crazy because we don't go to church. We have had people stop talking to us and refuse to talk to us until we go to church.
Our son, who just recently turned 11, these people refused to bring their children to his birthday because we don't go to church. He had no friends there. He was hurt, and even though it was just mom, dad, and brother, he was happy. But these people send out invites to us for their kids' birthdays. We just return them.
Don't allow people of religion to influence your life and force you to their will. Jim Jones was very good at it. David Koresh too.
Think for yourself, no matter what the consequences, bow to no one.
2007-07-26 02:50:10 · answer #1 · answered by tercentenary98 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would not hurt you to go with your Mom to temple once in a while. You go and make Mom happy. If you are so offended by your mothers beliefs and her insistance you attend the temple I suggest you move on. Take care of your own fees and live your own life. While she is paying she is going to feel like she is still the one in charge. Congrats on the tribunal win and Good Luck!
2007-07-26 11:48:30 · answer #2 · answered by mnwomen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you that no one should force religious beliefs on someone. However, you are dependent on her to finish your schooling so it would be diplomatic to go. I dont think it would be that wrong to endure one sundays service . But meanwhile study hard and get done with your education so you dont have to take anything from anyone especially her blackmailing you.( nothing is free and without strings!) I am very surprised at your message since I always thought that of all the religions and their wars throughout the world, buddhists were the most non forceful . But then, I didnt know your mom.
But if you are really really upset about this and dont want to go then you will have to do without her financial support and move on.
2007-07-26 10:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not your fault that she feels like you too should worship Buddha. You are an adult and have the free will to worship as you like. Going to church when you don't believe is worse tnot going. It makes you resent what is being said or the rituals involved. Just tell her that. Let her know that you are still her son and love her very much but her religion is just not for you and it is unfair to everyone if you are forced to go. If she can't handle that then you can't change her mind. It is your life now and you are free to choose the path you follow.
2007-07-26 09:46:43 · answer #4 · answered by MJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay your 22- do you still live at home? Do you have a job?If you don't live at home i wouldn't go with her. She needs to respect that you are an adult now and can make your own choices as far as religion is concerned. If you live at home, going may be something you could do to make life easier at home. It may simply make her happy for you to go with her. If you go, you dont have to worship Buddha! I used to have to go to Catholic church even though i didn't believe that way- i just went to make my dad happy. Because no matter what you believe it brings you joy to see your loved ones there in the religious community you love. If you dont have a job get one!! It seems like she might be using your financial help from her as bribary to get you to do what she wants you to. Remember she is still your mother but her controlling ways are getting out of hand!! Try having a heart to heart with her, and express your feelings without being disrespectful and tell her you don't feel like she thinks you can make your own decisions and respects them.
2007-07-26 10:32:21 · answer #5 · answered by trisha b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom sucks. I don't know how it ever got to the point where she feels/thinks she can treat you like a child.
Do you stand up to her? You are 22 years old?
Its time for you to grow some balls. Try telling her kindly, although judging by your story, shes not willing to listen.
Do what you feel is right for yourself. Shes not your mommy anymore. Really, you already know what you need to do. Asking this question here is just another distraction/delay to doing what you know you should.
OR
If you really need her money, swallow your pride and go with her, but then the question is "when will it ever stop?"
PS-She is not a real Buddhist either.
2007-07-28 00:16:14 · answer #6 · answered by Teaim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if you love your mom, you can go, say "hi" to Buddha once and a while and make like your into it for her sake. Otherwise, skip the Buddha thing, tell your mom you can't go through with it any more, and pay your own course fees. good luck!
2007-07-26 09:23:06 · answer #7 · answered by sportguy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i don't know what a tribunal is but, congratulations on the win.
it's wrong for anyone to impose their religious beliefs on anyone and the bit about financial aid is crap. that was manipulative. i'm sure she has tremendous faith and wishes you to have the same but what she's doing is wrong. if you're up for it, call her bluff. it may be real,it may not. there are other ways to pay for school. do you want guilt money anyway?
2007-07-26 09:40:59 · answer #8 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not weird that you feel offended. You are your own person and she should respect that. Tell her how you feel. If its not too much go every blue moon. But clearly your mother does not want you to grow up and be your own person.
2007-07-26 09:22:29 · answer #9 · answered by Poohnay aka Larishay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you dont want to be a budhidst, then dont be.
Tell her that in her face,
I mean WTFFFFFF you cant allow her to make your choices for you
2007-07-26 09:27:51 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋