Relationship based on sex???

Question

I feel my relationship is based on sex but my boyfriend takes things the wrong way how can i make sex a special thing instead of just sex!

he has helped me through alot and we have been together a year and 5 months

Answer 1

I just asked a similar question but with more problem areas, and I will tell you. If he is like that now, he isn't going to change. It will only get worse. If a man cannot treat you with the respect that you deserve and see you as a whole person instead of just a piece of meat, then move on. I was in a six year relationship where I was looked at like a walking crotch for the taking. You will wind up losing your self respect and self worth. There is no way you are going to change him, no more than he is going to change you. Go find someone that will treat you like a woman and enjoy spending time doing things WITH you, not just to you. I've moved on, and it hasn't been that long. Sex should never be the base of a relationship. If it is.....then it is not a relationship..... it's a quick fix for him. If you get a chance, read the book, "He's Just Not That Into You". You will be amazed at how many similarities there are that relate to what you are saying. Good luck to you.....you like myself deserve better!

Answer 2

...Hmmmm...!!! Surely great sex is gonna be a part of any realistically inclined close relationship between two highly evolved individuals....but I'm really more curious about "WHY?" you think this specific relationship you talk about is strictly based in sex really? If the only thing you two do is creatively just have sex?....well then maybe it's high time you two love birds sit down quietly and calmly with one another...and converse together respectfully about the frequency level of sexual behavior that each of you two wonderful people desire...wouldn't you agree? Hey?....for me any great sex in a relationship is wonderful...not a burden really. The more I get to having sex with someone special.....the more I wanna have creatively wonderful repeats basically. Have great sex with the one you appreciate...and hopefully he appreciates you equally if not moreso. At best have fun babe...cause sexual gratification with the right person is supposed to be wonderful sweety...not a chore or a bother really. E-mail me if you need more hun.....cause great sex is supposed to be a positive experience for you two.......COOL?

Answer 3

Just have a talk with him and let him know exactly how you feel. A relationship shouldn't be based purely on sex. You sorta contradicted yourself too. You said he's been there for you and helped you through a lot of things...that's not being based solely on sex.

Answer 4

Since sex is a part of your relationship before marriage, it might be helpful to understand that what is "special" to you is a different "special" to him.

Guys and gals have different needs, and while the gal's needs are emotional in general, the guys needs are physical, in general.

If you have initiated sex already as a part of your relationship, then to slow up, or stop it will always give an impression to him of something being wrong, you don't like/love him anymore, he's not good enough, etc. Instead of decreasing your physical part, enhance what you are already doing by attaching extra thanks and appreciation.

Both men and women have the need to "be loved". For the woman, her need to be loved is in non-physical ways, but for the man, his need to be loved is in physical ways.

So, since you are not married and already physically involved, by decreasing sex, you are decreasing showing that you love him, or at least that you are not interested in him anymore. Hope this helps!

http://www.splashdesignworks.com
http://www.housefellowship.org
http://www.rpjwaste.com

Answer 5

Unless you don't mind having a relationship based on sex then fine but if you want him to want all of you (mind, body & soul) then you should get out of the relationship. Trust me a relationship based on sex is heading down a road of hell. You need to have a serious talk with your boyfriend to see if he's really on the same page that you're on. You can't make sex special if that's all your relationship is based on. More than likely if it is based on that for him then he's using you.

Answer 6

Make it a little more romantic instead of spur of the moment sex have it planned make him wait till then. Have the room smelling good with scented candles. And when the love is started to be made don't just rip each others close off just go with the flow. Good music I would say would be some Barry White. Good Luck

Answer 7

Not sure what your ages are....but I know before the lady I am with now, sex, or lust infatuation was what I perceived as love. He may not know, or really understand what love is...being a friend should always be #1, the lovemaking will follow. Try to find things to do together...out of the house where you can just talk, like a campfire, watching the stars, going to the beach, a museum, fly kites..etc. Sounds like you started with lust...now kick up the friendship and understanding of one another....

Answer 8

Talk to your boyfriend about the way you feel. Your relationship could truly be based on sex. If so, you have to decide whether you are going to stay or go.

Answer 9

Sex is 50% of a relationship. It shouldn't be special. It should be more a regular event. Making it special like that will cause friction.

Answer 10

What else does he like to do for fun? Are they the things you like to do? If the two of you can't stand each other when the lights are on, or can't agree on what to do, but then when the lights turn off you're having at it like bunnies, that'd be a relationship based on sex. If that's not what you want then go find another man.