Is it just a local way of thinking? We re looking to adopt a second child, and EVERYONE we speak to over here (we live in Kenya) is against it. The general vibe is that if we are able to have our own, we should. Plain and simple. That if we adopt - the child could grow up to be "a problem" - bad genes, etc.
Children are children. Biological or adopted. Everyone will be a teenager sooner or later - I just see it as something a parent has to work through... not shy away from adoption because of a possible "bad seed".
Anyway. Am I missing something?? Is there some big hassle and negative aspect of adoption that I am not seeing?
2007-07-26 00:29:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adoption
i feel ya on this....every time i tell someone that i'm planning on adopting i hear all kinds of negative things and people trying to talk me out of it and telling me to have my own kids first. i even heard negative stuff when i became a BIG SISTER...everyone said i couldn't help those kids so why try. i couldn't believe how people react when your trying to do something good. i think anyone who adopts is a wonderful person and needs to instill some of that their children so we can make this world a better place....it's ridiculous how much hate is in the world.
2007-07-26 09:05:18 · answer #1 · answered by IndependentMocha 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why might you be very much greatly surprised? Why might everybody be effective approximately something that contradicts Nature's way? Why might everybody have fun the loss suffered between mom and toddler? you have some examining to do... start up with "The Primal Wound" by skill of Nancy Verrier and the two between the Betty Jean Lifton's books and "the secret existence of the Unborn new child" by skill of Thomas Verny. they might help you know that the mother/new child bond is there for a reason and that's unethical to sell the separation of mom/new child for any reason different than the place abuse and overlook has taken place. interior the united kingdom, interior the previous few months, I truly have heard many anxious thoughts of toddlers being STOLEN by skill of social workers from everybody with a historic previous of psychological ailment or poverty and positioned up for adoption. It has replace right into a anxious form and is all approximately assembly targets for having toddlers observed. the only issue is that that's tearing households aside and why everybody might want a new child who already has a mom is previous me. there are various toddlers who (sure in addition they have moms and dads) are interior the foster care gadget yet can't stay with their moms and dads for x motives and want a house. Why no longer inspect that rather? Or finding a diverse thank you to get entangled with a new child's existence? Adoption isn't a answer to infertility, 2 issues do no longer make a answer, they only double the topic concerns and complexities.
2016-11-10 08:24:34 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think adoption is wonderful. You will give a child a chance at a better life with a family that can love and support it. Don't listen to negative people. It is a very giving thing to want to share your home with a new child. There should be more people like you then there would be less unhappy children in our world. As far as a "bad seed", I don't believe in that. There are4 plenty of people who have a lot of problems with their biological children too. It has nothing to do with genes. I do think you need to inquire about any abuse that may have occurred in the child's past because that could cause behavioral problems. As long as you know about it you will be able to address the problem from the start and you could have the opportunity to give the child the help that it needs.
2007-07-26 00:47:38 · answer #3 · answered by butterflylady77 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Basic instincts, in nature, mothers usually protects their young from harm. I got attack by a dog once, because I picked up her pup from the litter. So yeah, I can see birth mom gets deffensive if someone is trying to pick out their child.
Others might feel it's profitable in the adoption process, since adoptive parents will pay for the child
2007-07-26 04:46:50 · answer #4 · answered by 結縁 Heemei 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok sweetie here is the negative side of adoption. My fiance was adopted by a couple. His adopted dad was a vp of marketing at a fortune 500 company. He was a millionaire many times over. My fiance and his brother were adopted at the ages of about 4 and 5. At first things were great. Then, the adopted parents got tired of having two adopted sons in addition to their two biological daughters. They locked the boys in the basement, not feeding them for days. the adopted mother would lock them outside after school because she didn't want to "have to look at them". Finally as teenagers they were sent away to a boot camp for bad kids. My fiance was so scarred emotionally that he never got over it. He passed away last august at the age of 21, never feeling loved or wanted by any family except me. I hate his adoptive parents. His is not the only story like that. And how would you feel if your biological child was treated like that?
2007-07-26 04:20:53 · answer #5 · answered by beautifulirishgirl 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Adoption is just another way to form a family. Sadly the attitude about being a bad seed does exist in some ingnorant minds.
A lot of people just don't understand adoption and think that all children who have been adopted come from horrible or tragic circumstances, i.e, orphanage, foster care, abuse, unwanted, etc.
It's very sad to me because many adopted children come from very heartwarming and happy birth mother's who only want the best for a child they are unable to take care of. Particularly in open adoption. It's a win-win for everyone.
My daughter couldn't be prouder of her adoption story and seems very well grounded having a relationship with her birth mother.
2007-07-26 04:23:18 · answer #6 · answered by Cam 6 · 1⤊ 4⤋
I myself am nearing the end of a pregnancy, and I am giving the baby up for adoption. For women like me, couples like you are a godsend.
I think maybe some people have negative connotations about adoption because there are a minority of people who try to adopt for menial reasons such as not wanting to 'ruin' their body etc and a lot of the genuine reasons people have for adopting being the best option are overlooked.
2007-07-26 00:46:48 · answer #7 · answered by Scared 1 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Some people are scared of the unknown. Adoption, It's a great thing to do if your able too.
2007-07-26 00:38:09 · answer #8 · answered by the_monamayfair 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I think it can be an ego/self-esteem issue, that you want to carry on your genes. I dont think its about the children, but the need for validation from the adults - that they have this "importance." So think its more psychological.
2007-07-26 00:46:08 · answer #9 · answered by lillilou 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I think you are doing a wonderful thing. It is very easy to love your own kids but it takes a special person to take on somebody else's. Good luck xx
2007-07-26 01:32:03 · answer #10 · answered by debbie939828 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋