i used to be a charming girl. by charming i mean i used to use words like darling, baby, cutie etc very casually in my conversation with my male friends and female frends. one day i starting seeing this man and soon he asked me to stop using such words when talking with male friends. he said he felt insecured and something like that. after lot of emational torture by him for months i gave up using such words totally. after many years during a fight with my bf he asked me "what the hell you have done for me till today". after lot of cold war i said i changed the way i talk with people for your sake. he immedialty replied- " thats the way girls should be. you dint do any favour for me doing that! ". i dint know what to react to this. its been long but still i get really emotional when i recall this incident.
2007-07-26 00:24:36 · 18 answers · asked by angelic 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
someone here is saying it was good that i changed the way i spoke! i think he is thinking i used to involve in some kind of cheap talking with men. i want to correct him that no i was not using such words to get attention or something. i dont know how to justify myself to this man! havent u heard sushmita sen talk? or if someone said something silly havent u heard anyone reply this "darling u r wrong, that was not the case" or blah blah! why do men feel so cheap abt us all the time? and what are they?
2007-07-26 00:49:51 · update #1
i thank all these people who answered my question and made me feel good.. thank you all of u.. it sreally hard for me to choose the best answer. pls dont be sad if u r not choosen! .
2007-08-01 17:45:23 · update #2
i thank all these people who answered my question and made me feel good.. thank you all of u.. its really hard for me to choose the best answer. pls dont be sad if u r not choosen! .
2007-08-01 17:45:43 · update #3
I think he was right in a way when he says girls should not talk like this , i think even boys shud not say darling/honey for every bdy !! .If you casually talk like this then its ok , but as you said you used to do this for attracting ppl , its natural for him to be a bit insecure !!
these are special words which are meant to be used for someone special ...by addressing everybdy by "darling" you are bringing everybody to same level , but when you are in love u always need to feel & be someone special.
I understand that this incidence might have hurt you & you certainly did a gr8 job by listening to him.
In a relationship we do lots of things for each other & in times we r upset we usually say weird things to each other.
I think you should not worry about such small things if u guys love each other.
Hope this will help you
gud luck
2007-07-26 01:59:15 · answer #1 · answered by Jo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that person doesn't love u. See, when a person loves someone, he exepts that person with his good qualities and bad qualities. I strongly believe that if a person says "he loves u "n then asks to change ureself, it means that person is playing with u. But still u changed ureself for him. N after all this he is saying that what have u done 4 him? Come on, be practical! . U r a nice girl n u will get thousands of boys better than him. I wanna say that u just forget him and move ahead. Life is a long journey!
2007-07-30 06:35:17 · answer #2 · answered by Rama Khatri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the guy sounds really immature, and not deserving of you. First you really shouldnt change the way you talk or do things. If he "fell" for you, the way you were, then why change you once, you were together? Doesn't make sense does it?
If he didnt like you using those words, then why find feelings for you, then try to change you when you were together.
I'd ignore it, tell him that you are going to be YOU, and not change for him or anyone.
2007-07-26 07:32:03 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let it go. he asked you, and you changed the way you speak for him. get over it. as far as the arguing goes.... if he feels that you haven't done anything for him, than maybe he needs to be the one that has an epiphany moment. you shouldn't allow yourself to be hurt by him and vicous words in the heat of a stupid argument... that is what you need to tell him, stand up for yourself and tell him that regardless of what you have or haven't done for him, you deserve respect and will not tolerate his insensitivity, and give him an altermatim.... either he work on his attitude or you walk....
that might be too deep depending on what you were arguing about, but bottom line is... an argument is not justification for anyone to say what they feel or hurtful things and get away with it.
2007-07-26 07:32:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let him ruin your personallity, call your male friends what you feel comfortable & you'll respect him by not calling them by them names when he's around, otherwise break up with him-he's insecure like you said, if he get's too possessive, it's time to find someone else, I felt the same way, but then I learned alot of women are that way & there's nothing to be jealous about it.-good luck.
2007-07-26 07:38:09 · answer #5 · answered by strange-artist 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you have to change the way you speak with male & female friends.That is your style.As you said you are not indulging in cheap talks by talking that way.You dont have to change yourself for your boyfriend just bcoz he doesn't like you in that way.I think you must dump him.He is not good for you.If he loves you certainly he should not behave like this.JUST GET RID OF HIM SOON.
2007-08-01 03:46:01 · answer #6 · answered by coolblue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just being a man, give it time he will soon realise that he is being a selfish bastard, you must really care for him if you even changed the way you spoke???? He is really still in the "growing up" phase.
2007-08-03 06:41:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is not to change the person you love it is to love him/her the way he/she is.
and if he has brought about such a considerable change in you its time you open your eyes girl
think about it.
is this relationship really worth the effort you are giving in and is he giving equal amount of effort for this relationship???
2007-08-02 02:04:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If person loves you, he should accept you as & what you are rather than trying to chang eyour natural self. He is not worth all the pains.
2007-07-26 07:30:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are coming of age .God helps those who help them selves
Watch guys and your girl friends ..Understand them .know what you should you know &.ask mumma if you want for an advice as to what to talk and what not,if you speak like that . other guys knowing you, will talk all rubbish and slang words.
know! They are reduiculing you, ok?
bet of luck soon
2007-07-26 07:39:01 · answer #10 · answered by Bhahagyam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋