Me & my boyfriend have been dating for almost 3 months (Since May 5th, 2007). Me & him aren't engaged yet but, I'm really hoping we will be here in the next year or two. That means I'll either be 15 or 16 years old. We would like to get married once I turn 18.
Yes, you may think that my relationship will not last because I'm only 14. But, I truely believe it will & I'm not just saying that. I love this guy to death & I do believe our relationship will last for a while. I am very mature for my age & I do understand a relationship and I know what love is.
Please don't tell me, just live your life, or any crap like that. I just want to know if you think it would be wrong for a 15/16 y/o to be engaged.
I also understand that I would not be able to get married until I'm 18 but, we could be engaged for 2-3 years.
2007-07-26 00:24:31 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Also, me & him have really talked deeply about getting married, moving out, & having children. We talk about it ALL the time.
2007-07-26 00:25:13 · update #1
Actually, Harsh M., not all girls get pregnant when they get engaged. You just have to be careful & know what your doing. I'm already on birthcontrol & I plan on being on it until I'm almost 18. We plan on having kids when I'm 18-20 years old. We want kids young so we can run & play with them.
2007-07-26 00:33:34 · update #2
We do go out. We do have fun. We do lots of fun stuff together. We are going out of town/state next month together. We went out of state about a month ago. We do have fun & we did fall in love quickly.
2007-07-26 00:36:05 · update #3
Acutally, I do know what I'm talking about. And I do understand things. I'm not 2.
And, I also know this isn't a long term relationship. We just started dating. All relationships have to start some where.
2007-07-26 00:39:12 · update #4
Yes, I do understand I need to go to college.
We talked about when to have kids. When to get married. We plan on moving to Texas once I turn 17. He already has a job. And so do I. Yes, it may not bring in much but, we can't make to much right now. We are still young. But, at least we have the resposibility to go and get a job.
2007-07-26 00:41:32 · update #5
Go ahead with your plans.. .. if both yours and his parents agree
2007-07-26 00:29:35 · answer #1 · answered by AdultMale 3 · 2⤊ 7⤋
I know you're excited and want to hurry through the what you'll soon come to find out are the best years of your life but I would really just be patient and enjoy this time without having an itinerary to go by. I thought the same thing you do at your age. I dated someone for 4 years when I was 15 and have had "serious" relationships since then. Sometimes you marry your high school sweetheart and sometimes you have to go through a few relationships and experience everything you can before you truly know what kind of person will work best for you. You have a lot of growing within yourself to do first and so does he so I really wouldn't rush it too much. Once you get to the age of having to really work hard for your own money, be financially responsible for things, etc. you're going to experience the good, the bad and the ugly of life. These times will also be a great way to observe how your boyfriend handles situations. Does he get angry, have a temper, not take responsibility for things, etc. This is when you may start to question your choice in guys and maybe have to move on to someone that better suits you. Just sit back and have fun because before you know it, you'll be 30 like me and wishing you could rewind time!! Good luck!
2007-07-26 02:55:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of alll, congratulations on finding the man you want to be with for the rest of your life. I found the man that I wanted to be with forever when I was 16 and we both knew and discussed this within the first year of our relationship. We have now been together over 4 years and recently got engaged to be married next summer. I know it sounds like a long time, but having the time to grow with each other and get and education is soo important. I know you say that you could be engaged for 2-3 years, but let me just tell you...once you get engaged, you are not going to want to wait that long. I am all for finding true love at a young age, but I do think it is important to wait a few years before getting engaged.
2007-07-26 07:12:35 · answer #3 · answered by curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 27 years old and I have changed sooooo much since I was 15. I am not sure that I totally agree with the reasons that you want to get married. What kind of job does he have? Have you figured out the monthly cost of living for the two of you, and then figured in the cost of a baby? Diapers and formula are EXPENSIVE! Then, think about what kind of wedding you will have at 18. Why not wait, save your money, and get married while not going broke? Do you know how hard it is to manage work and a baby? Newborn babies don't sleep. They wake up a million times a night, which means that the mom doesn't sleep.
I just don't know why you want to rush your life. In saying that, it doesn't mean that I don't believe that you and your boyfriend are in love. I have friends that started dating in 7th grade and they are now married. THey waited until they both went to college and finished, but they stayed together the whole time. I wish you good luck and PLEASE use birth control until you are 100% sure that you are financially able to take care of a child.
2007-07-26 05:15:52 · answer #4 · answered by drruth 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you've only been together three months and all though when your 14 this feels like forever, it's not really a long term relationship. You're still a kid and you'll go through many phases by the time your 18. If your not going to get married until then, there's no point in tying yourself down for all of your teen years. You'll change throughout this time and so will he. I don't think getting engaged would be the right thing to do at your age. To be honest your not really mature enough to fathom that marriage is more or less forever, unless you are divorced, which would be traumatic, you don't want to set yourself up for that do you?
2007-07-26 00:35:57 · answer #5 · answered by jo 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how much money you have for the divorce lawyer. I live in Vegas and if I were to bet I would say there is less than 1% chance if you get engaged and married even at 18 - you will still be married by the time your first child goes to first grade.
You are way to young to have any idea about life. I am glad you have a good boyfriend. Enjoy yourselves (With protection of course) and do not create any children and do not get married for a long time - you have not a clue what you are talking about. Sorry to burst your bubble. My guess is my response will just make you want to do it to prove me wrong - please don't. Enjoy these years of high school, go to college - both of you - and make a future for yourselves. Just don't make decisions at 15 or 16 that will affect you for the next 75 years.
2007-07-26 00:34:15 · answer #6 · answered by vegasrob89118 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong to be engaged. What would be wrong is if you do nothing further to prepare for your life, and your lives together. Engagement, even marriage is wonderful, BUT you have to be ready for it. You still have to prepare for your life. That still means school, college, a career. Even a stay at home mom needs school to run a household, and raise outstanding children. You also have to prepare for your lives together. That means agreeing on each others desires about every aspect of life. Trust and trustworthiness, communication, conflict resolution, Love, intimacy, children, careers, where are you going to live, spirituality. a way to keep your relationship fresh, commitment, SEX, politics,contraception, how are you going to raise your kids if you have any, etc, etc,etc. If you truly love this guy, if you truly feel he's the one, dates shouldn't just be having fun with each other. Dates should be talking, and planning, and preparing for your lives together. You are very young. That's not necessarily a bad thing. But it does mean you have a lot of time in front of you to get this right. Use ALL of it. Your futures together will only be better for it.
2007-07-26 03:02:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is a very serious decision, and it sounds like you are aware of that. I think that getting engaged at 15 or 16 years of age is not a good idea no matter how solid your relationship is.
As you grow up you begin to find out who you really are and you begin to explore different parts of your life.
You probably really solidify who you are and what you are about during the college years. Adults 24 and up have the most successful marriage rates.
You can be committed to someone without being engaged. How about a promise ring for awhile? Get through college, and then maybe get engaged?
As for talking about having children, it's fun to think about, but (as I'm sure you know) it is soooooo much work! Take time to enjoy your youth and your freedom! If it is really meant to be with this person, nothing will take that away.
Also, I'm not sure what your family would think if you got engaged at such a young age. I will tell you that if they do not approve that it will make everything more difficult in your marriage and in your life. Just another thing to take into consideration.
Best wishes!
2007-07-26 00:45:09 · answer #8 · answered by Sara 2 · 6⤊ 1⤋
My first thought was "yes"! But after i thought about it...no problem getting engaged BUT wait till you are in your 20's to get married. what is the rush? if you believe that this relationship you are in will last forever...was is 10 years? Nothing it is just a spit in a bucket. Go to college or get a job and get your lives started so that you can enter into a bliss of marriage and have the things you want and be able to provide for those children you want. I have friends that dated from the age of 12...They got engaged at 18 but didn't not marry til 25. They are blissfully happy and have a beautilful home and careers. you need to ask yourself...why do you want to get married so soon??? it isn't because you love him soo much!...b/c honestly you can love him and not be married to him. I know this next thing will sound like your mother but it is the truth " marriage is NOT to be taken lightly!" GL to you!
2007-07-26 00:34:11 · answer #9 · answered by Sara D 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You are too young and too immature to start thinking of getting engaged and married. How rediculous. Why don't you act your age and start having fun as a teen. Yes, you may love him, but it is puppy love, because you are too young to have an understanding of true love and a meaningful relationship. You have to be more mature for that. Why are you rushing things? Why because you have had sex already...way too young. Don't let your hormones lead your life and your boyfriend should go play baseball and soccer and have a good time being a teenager. This is so ludicrous that it is laughable. Get a teen life! Enjoy and have fun. If you date him, just make it a dating thing, but with the knowledge that you have to finish highschool and go to college and he should do the same. Enough of these teenage romances already.
2007-07-26 04:31:48 · answer #10 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If you really love each other, then you both can wait until you get older. I believe you when you say that you are in love and you know this is the person you want to be with. Don't listen to people on this board that make hateful comments. However, there really isn't a point into getting engaged so young. Wait until you are at least 18 to get engaged, then have a short engagement and get married quickly. Really there is nothing about getting engaged that you need right now...just keep on dating and if he is really committed to you, then he won't need the word "engaged" to keep him around. Just try to take it slower and if you are serious about getting married...then wait longer to get engaged. You will be happier in the end. Besides, if you get engaged at 15 or 16 nobody will take it seriously anyways...even tho I know you are serious. Good luck honey!
2007-07-26 01:52:23 · answer #11 · answered by pinkie443 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋