A single mother has 2 kids - 12 and 5. She gets involved with a guy - they have similar interests and get on well and everything is fine for 6 months or so and the guy buys a house and the mum and her kids move in. But things don't go so well when they're living together. They argue and break up for a few months, then get back together and almost immediately the mum and her kids move back in. The arguments start again, so they move out. Then they move back in again and eventually move out again for good. Each time they move the 12 year old has to change schools.
Obviously the kids are being messed around, but who do you blame more - not for the problems in the relationship, but for the instability in the kids' lives.
2007-07-25 21:57:56 · 31 answers · asked by Alex 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Obviously the Mom. Her first priority is her children.
2007-07-26 07:14:19 · answer #1 · answered by stonecolddonkey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mother needs to be mature and responsible enough to put the best interests of her children before her own self-gratification. These children are living in a land-mind of instability, constant turmoil and cyclic upheaval that will end up affecting them well into their adult lives. These kids would be much better off residing with an extended family member until Mom can sort out her priorities. Family counseling would most definately be in order for Mom and the kids as well.
2007-07-25 22:08:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you would have to blame the custodial parent moving the kids in the first place. Second you would have to blame the person not being totaly honest with the other about what needs changing or working on.
I have found (as I have been in and out of my families life) that you both have to be totally honest with each other and listen and change as you go. Otherwise you just end up where you started/ended last time.
2007-07-25 22:04:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we start placing blame, we stop accepting responsibility for ourselves.
Maybe the guy was a total jerk. If so, the mom maybe should have thought a lot harder about moving in so many times. But things aren't always clear when one is in love.
Maybe the woman was impossible to live with. If that's the case, then maybe the man should have sought relationship counseling for the both of them---or just refused to let her movie in because it was detrimental to their lives. But again, when one is in love, things aren't always so clear.
So, unless there was a case of abuse, I try not to play the blame game. I'd just try and support my friend (whether that be the man or woman in this scenario.)
2007-07-25 22:03:35 · answer #4 · answered by Calliope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two problems here but one (kids) is the indirect result of the first (relationship problems). Mom should hopefully realize that this guy is not good relationship material by now and totally move on for the kids sake and never put another guy ahead of her kids well being. Hopefully,her playing hasnt done too much damage to the kids but only time will tell
2007-07-25 22:14:06 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is a given the mom. I mean I know everyone wants to find the "one" even when they already have kids and what not. But a mother's duties and job is to see to the emotional, physical and psychological health of her children. If she is running back and forth to this man, she is pretty much tossing her kids to the wind and say fend for yourselves, because obviously this man that I keep having all these fights with needs all my attention. Its a shame really, but that is just how some parents are today.
2007-07-25 22:03:47 · answer #6 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess I would have to say the mother. If things did not work out the first time, then she should have never moved back into his house. The kids are suffering here. She needs to give her kids some type of stable life.
2007-07-25 22:02:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
first of all the kids have 2 parents, and if one parent is not in the lives of the kids it makes it that much harder for the other parent to do the job of both. and it shouldnt be a blame thing, everybody makes mistakes but the mother needs to learn not to put her needs before her kids.
2007-07-25 22:13:33 · answer #8 · answered by alexander 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but the mother is to blame she is responsible for the well being of her own kids. He is only a boyfriend you are not responsible for his behavior. She should just drop him and live for her kids right now.
2007-07-26 03:19:44 · answer #9 · answered by sweetluv2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the mother, if the kid has to change schools each time they move house, it's messing him/her around. she doesnt have to move in with him and it's obviously an issue with everyone if she does. if they are happy together but not living together, that's probably the way it should stay.
2007-07-25 22:03:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's the mothers fault. She has made the decision to uproot her children time and time again. She is responsible for them and their life. Relationships go up and down, but she doesn't have to move the kids every time.
2007-07-25 22:02:27 · answer #11 · answered by Annie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋