what do you feel about a woman late 30's having a baby to validate herself and her marriage?

Question

there is also history of infidelity,divorce,and financial problems ie; bankruptcy

Answer 1

Well if that were the case I would have to wonder what happened to the last 20 years she was supposed to have been building up her self worth to validate her own self, regardless of a man or a child.

Answer 2

There are a number of despicable, narcissistic things about bringing a human being into this declining world to "validate" anything.

But all in all, I would say such a woman is merely more aware of her motivation than her peers.

There are no unselfish acts in this world, it doesn't mean the person you describe can't be a good mother. I would imagine it makes it more difficult on paper, because a particularly self-centered human being isn't going to cut it as a parent (the number of screwed up people in the world might attest to the number of people having kids who shouldn't).

I do, however, believe in maternal instinct, and for all but the severely emotionally retarded, that instinct will kick in, and a new mother will eventually grow in awareness--I'm speaking of a higher consciousness where her sense of empathy grows and her child's welfare bonds with her own.

To go off on a tangent:

if ones marriage were to be "validated" it would only be through past memories. Good times that came before that made the wretched trip worth it to some extent. Otherwise, a failed marriage is just a mistake and can't be validate by putting another human being into the mix. Unless it's a three way, then, maybe...no, no, maybe not.

Answer 3

I think trying to validate UR self with a baby is a diservice to a child.They need a lot of things and can't give anything, but love and trust for a long time.You must feel vaildated yourself before U start messing up a babies life.The reason is the best u will do as a parent, won't be good enough."It takes a village", as Senator Clinton said. It's an awe inspiring job, but a wonderful one.It has to be for the childs person,The child needs not for U'rs, to be dragging some baggage for Ur feelins of inadquateces.Think what your doing for them not U.This is the mode for at least 25 yrs.l

Answer 4

I think that it is very foolish. You don't realize how much older than the other parents you will be, and how much things will have changed by the time the child really needs teenage guidance. (my parents act like they are my grandparents--"How old are your parents anyway?") Also, the age difference can cause fatigue when a child needs you to be highly active.(running him/her all over town and to games and such.) Then what about the fact that you will be missing out on what your friends your age are doing, becaue their nests will be empty. (no sitters, no homework, etc.) They will be able to travel or go places whenever they won't but you won't be able too because you have children and serious expenses.


By the time they are having grandchildren, you will be paying for high school graduation, and a college education.

I suggest thatyou reconsider the situation for making a decision that will affect your life and a child's life very seriously.

Answer 5

That is a stupid reason to have a child. A child is not a pet and any woman who has children to "validate" herself and her marriage is a complete idiot. My thinking is that there is social pressure to have a child from family, friends etc. This is not a good reason to have children, just because everyone else wants you to. Just remember they do not have to take care of that child, you do!

Answer 6

To validate herself and her marriage? I would say don't do it. If she is wanting to have a baby because she truly wants to I would say go for it. Choosing to not have children doesn't make a marriage any less of a marriage.

Best wishes!

Answer 7

I think it is stupid for a woman of any age to have a baby to validate herself and her marriage, why do you think this would only matter in her late 30's?

Answer 8

Those are not the right reasons to bring a child into the world.

Answer 9

I think it's totally ridiculous and that is no reason to bring a child into this world, the child will suffer.

Answer 10

I think it is a shame to use a child in that way, whatever the age of the people involved.