birth of our first born child. my husband went out of the country on business and slept with a prosititute. when he came back i smelt cigarette on him and confronted him, he confessed of drinking and smoking, i was not convinced that's all he did and i prodded him further upon which he confessed that he actually slept with a prostitute. i felt betrayed and contemplated leaving him, only to rethink it and i decided to stay after he apologised and promised it shall never happen again. but i've never been able to forgive him for disrespecting me and holding me in contempt. i keep telling myself that one day i'll walk out on him. I keep asking whether he was thinking about me when he was doing that and it really hurts me considering that he even sinned before God him being a beliver. please help.
2007-07-25 20:09:06 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What is it that you want help with? Help with leaving, staying, getting over it? I thought part of believing in God was granting forgiveness to those that have slightest us as God forgives us daily. If you keep telling yourself that you are going to leave him any day now I'm not sure how we can help.
2007-07-25 20:14:32 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BORN AGAIN!!!
answer these questions:
is hubby an @sshole?
do you feel he loves you?
is he constantly doing stupid & inconsiderate things to you and the family?
being BORN AGAIN does NOT mean a person will be perfect forever. he has fallen, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't love you.
maybe you should ask yourself if the communication between you two needs some tweeking. maybe there are things that he desires in the marriage that he is not getting from YOU. Maybe he was curious about being with a prostitute, so he did it... just a sex thing.
Being born-again means that you accept Jesus and will try to do you best to be 'like' him. well, if your hubby is not an @sshole, then you should forgive him and focus on a better communication. I did not say forget, 'cause human nature won't let you forget... but as a CHRISTIAN, YOU need to forgive, otherwise don't bother saying that you are BORN-AGAIN...
Jesus wants us all to be happy. HE knows that we are not perfect and that we will fall now and then. HE wants you and hubby to be considerate of each other. YES, hubby wasn't considerate in what he did, but he said sorry and said that he won't do it again. Give him that chance. If he does it again, then drop him. If you cannot let go of this issue, then you might as well let go of your marriage, 'cause always dwelling on this will just eat you up and kill the growing of a good marriage.
if you think you're the perfect wife, look in the mirror and decide if you should move on. Part of being a good wife is to make your marriage grow well.
You and hubby need to talk on a higher level. Yes, grow with the Lord, but don't be stupid about it. Use good sense. If you want to be extreme about this, then maybe you should just become a nun.
No one is perfect. YOU are not perfect. Be real!!! WWJD!!!
2007-07-25 21:47:59 · answer #2 · answered by james 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness does not happen overnight when you are betrayed and hurt by your spouse.
The master of deception got a hold of your husband while he was away and he will continue to do everything within his power until you leave your husband.
You have a husband that admitted his wrongdoing and that is a lot more than I can say for 99% of the men out there that have done the same thing.
The fact that he admitted it to you is some proof that he has no intent of ever doing it again.
Men who have the intention of doing it again will keep it under wraps and NEVER admit it.
The only way to get over this more quickly is to pray more.
Even if you pray 3 or 4 times a day, you need to do it 7 or 8.
Only He can heal your broken heart, not you, nor your husband.
Not to excuse your husbands behavior, but I do want to make one point.
Everything happens for a reason and maybe the reason for this needs to be examined.
Of course we know that your husband could have acted differently and made better choices, but is there ANYTHING that you could have done to prevent him from straying?
I would suggest that you lay one ground rule down right now.
That is that neither spouse is to ever drink alcohol in the absence of the other.
That rule alone can save you a lot of future headaches and heartaches both!
Good luck!
One last thing, I believe that you are doing the right thing staying with your husband and I can guarantee you that it is what God wants for you.
Although infidelity gives you scriptural grounds for divorce, the Bible is clear on the fact that God does not want you to divorce, but will permit it under these circumstances.
2007-07-25 20:25:49 · answer #3 · answered by runninfool 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all sin, born again or not.
We're human, and as humans we make mistakes. You have to figure out if you can stay with a man that has flaws. Speak to someone, a minister or a counselor.
Forgive him and move on or don't forgive him, stay and make his life miserable or leave.
2007-07-25 20:23:01 · answer #4 · answered by Maureen G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
adultery in the bible is a very serious subject, and one that God himself did not show much likeness to,but God himself gave up his son to forgive us of our sins, and that is more than we can ever give to forgive someone else,ask yourself has your husband shown remorse is he also hurting for what he has done,you will never forget but you can forgive, forgetting wont happen it will stay with you as a reminder of the sin you both have to overcome, but forgiving is something that our faith in God is built on, can we trust God enough to forgive another,and leave it in his hands, the question is how faithful are you,when it comes to believing God is in control...
2007-07-25 20:26:24 · answer #5 · answered by yukd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
See your minister or pastor. Your anger is eating you up alive. I have to wonder what prompted your husband to act in such a way. You know being born again isn't the same as "dead".
2007-07-25 20:13:45 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every man or woman can fall prey to the enemy.. but its not us but the lord to give him whats due... divorcing him or hating wont make u a better person.. nor would it improve the situation.
the lord's most important teaching is to forgive... i suggest u atleast give him that.. dont break the marriage..... but definately show him that he doesnt deserve you..
make him see how difficult it is to earn a persons trust and how careless he has been in loosing it
mail me if u need a person to talk to neckinrubber@yahoo.com {}
2007-07-25 20:23:34 · answer #7 · answered by who ?? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not trying to bog you down but I consider cheating the end of marriage. To me it is unforgivable. Everyone has their own ideas though. in the Bible, adultry breaks the bonds of marriage. I really don't know what to tell you, but my heart goes out to you. I know that it is very difficult to be in a situation like that.
2007-07-25 20:16:12 · answer #8 · answered by pchickie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe he just wastn't attracted to you. i mean you were 8 months pregnant, you were probably huge! whats the big deal i have 3 kids and have sex with prostitutes all the time! my wife got fat and i just want to have a good time. its not like she's doing anything for me so no one gets hurt!
2007-07-26 02:37:26 · answer #9 · answered by joe f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are still holding unforgiveness in your heart then it is only hurting you. I think you two need to seek spiritual counseling. God bless!
2007-07-29 16:59:06 · answer #10 · answered by jjohnny65 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋