What do i do please help :(?

Question

Hi everyone,
ok here it goes, i have been with my partner for the last two year, been living together for just over a year, we got married in sept 06 the problem i am having is that everytime i go out she always looking at other women, last night we was out to see barbra streisand everything was going fine, then as we where leaving she was eyeing up some woman she looked at here and the woman looked back, this happened a few times i was walking behind and saw this, which hurt me, wat do i do should i say something to my partner about this or say nothing? even if i do say something she will say i am seeing things, or i am going mad.... she has done this many times before just makes me think if she really loves me, i give my all to this woman, i love her so very much , but i feel confused once again, (we are gay women )she is 47 i am 41 please anyone out there that can give me some advice, i cant talk with her because she will only walk away and not hear me out,
crystal x

Answer 1

I think you need to tell her you notice this and it hurts you, she is totally disrespecting you and that is not right, how would she feel if you did that?

Answer 2

Regardless of orientation there's 2 sides of unhealthy behavior here. It doesn't seem right to expect her not to notice great looking women. Most PETS I've ever had, noticed great lookin' women. Though the fact it bothers you so much could probably use some work (maybe a little counseling to see where it's coming from or something like that) but **What's really bad** is that she's not even mature enough or emotionally invested enough OR, most likely, a little too messed up in the head - to be able to have a little empathy especially in a marriage to be able to talk with you about something that's bothering you so much. It's her DUTY, her OBLIGATION to be there for you, be understanding and loving - to deny it if it's true, to question your sanity or to ignore the issue is completely unacceptable, in any relationship.

I would suggest trying to be as gentle on the subject as possible. it's easy for jealousy to turn to anger and for someone anger over this stuff to... Not control the anger well enough to deal with the issue productively. Start first by spending some time trying to figure out why it really bothers you so much.

Ok, then pull yourself out of the load of BS floating around in your head. Really think about what in your life has contributed to your having a reaction like this, don't kid yourself. Dig around and really get an understanding of this.

Then it's up to you to convey this to her, so that she can understand what this does to you and how. If she'll knowingly hurt you, forget her ***. You've got the last resort of trying some relationship counseling - beyond that - sorry hun you made the wrong choice on this one. Move on!

Answer 3

She wouldnt be with you if she didnt want to be. Why do you think she has stayed with you? Believe me when I say that there is one thing that will destroy any relationship, straight or gay, and that is suspicion. You have no grounds to be jealous or untrusting and if you become paranoid about it all you will drive your partner away. So chill out and enjoy what you have. Count your blessings - the world is full of people who dont have what you have and are lonely. How would you feel if everytime you looked at or spoke to another person your partner became clingy? You would feel trapped. So lighten up and enjoy life, love and happiness. Life is short very short.

Answer 4

you do need to talk to somebody about this because it is just going to eat you up inside. Try and discuss it with her and tell her how it feels. Has she started this all of a sudden or has she always looked at other women? Ask her if she loves you, thing is you can look but you cant touch. As long as she is with you that may make you feel a bit better. Im sorry I know this is difficult for you. good luck

Answer 5

Two carpet munchers cant be married, you mean you are in a civil partnership; only a man and a women can be married. If I were you I would dress her up a bit more butch so only hetro women will look but be no competion to yourself.

Answer 6

If you love her you need to continue trying to talk to her. Next time try pointing it out right after she does it let her know that it is a SERIOUS problem. and that she needs to admit to it. My boyfriend flirts with other women sometimes and when I say something he calls me crazy so now I point it out right after. It's funny but sometimes people REALLY don't realize when they do these things. If she really loves you she'll understand and at least learn to wait til your not around to check out other women good luck!!

Answer 7

Your insecurity and jealousy will kill your relationship if you don't get help for it. You need to get counseling to get a handle on it and learn why you react this way. She's not doing anything wrong, and you shouldn't be threatened because she might look at someone else or someone else looks at her. If you don't want to lose her, then help yourself. No one wants to live with someone who doesn't trust them and is constantly jealous.

Answer 8

it is wring after getting married she starts looking at other women, i wouldnt be too happy if this was me. best have a quiet night in and talk.

good luck

Answer 9

Get out of that relationship. It is a mistake. Get out of the homosexual life style as it will never bring you true joy. It is an abomination.

Answer 10

Write a letter and leave it on her pillow, then walk away.