Harder to make friends as you get older?

Question

I often watch my husband and others our age make friends effortlessly, but I can't seem to make any friends. No one makes the effort to call me up to see how I'm doing but I see my husband's friends call him all the time just to say hi, to go out, or whatever. Sure we have friends that he calls "our" friends, but they never bother calling me, only him.
I admit I'm a bit jealous, but I don't know what to do. I sit here watching him talk on the phone, email, and run out the door to meet friends, and I just sit here staring at my phone hoping someone would call.
I've even made a serious effort to call others and visit them, but the moment I decide not to be the one doing all the contacting, the "friendship" is over. They never call back, they never email me, they never visit me.
I've had this problem since I was in college, now I'm 32 and still having the same problem. I'm really at a loss and am terribly lonely watching my hubby walk out the door to hang with his friends.

Answer 1

I understand how you feel since I have a similar problem. but I know i'm part of the problem as well since I don't call people back.
It's not harder as you get older - the problem lies in your own daily activities, like making friend at work or joining a gym or a sports club. I guess that once we are older we do less activities that require meeting people.
For example I don't have any chance of making friends at work since the people are not quiet interesting in making friends....so, there you go.
Sorry I don't have anything better to say, but if you leave around my area (Victoria,Australia), I'll be your friend!
Cheers

Answer 2

I think it is hard to get to know anyone when your older because people have been through the ringer with other people and don't trust anyone. I don't know about all these guy friends. I have to ask what they have to gain by him? Is he just a very cheerful outgoing person. Guys don't seem to relate to each other that way in their 30s. My husband knows everyone and is a good person but nobody rings the phone off the hook or beats the door down. As far as you doing all the work to keep a friend it does seem that is how people are. Like if you want to call fine if you don't fine. I have no idea how to meet people that aren't loads of trouble to be around. I would just tell you to do what I do. Learn to be happy by yourself. Don't depend on others for an exciting life. If one comes along great! If they don't then your not miserable all the time. Don't compare your life to your husbands.

Answer 3

Sorry You feel that way...I mean jealous in not having friends like your husband, but I think it is good in a way because you then have more time for yourself...I am 30 and it is difficult for me to make friends also and I have gotten used to it...I do not focus on the social butterfly effect...I go to the gym, study, research, go to the salon and catch up on the news..I just think you should focus on yourself..I know it is easier said than done but then try to be friendlier or warmer towards people, maybe then you will have friends..

Answer 4

YES! I am 30 & my best friends are people I've known since HS.

I can be friendly w/ people & have aquaintances but FRIENDS are hard to come by.

Do you have kids? Sometimes it's easier to make friends through your kids through playgroups (try meetups.com) or PTA - or at least that's been my experience. That site I listed actually has groups for EVERYTHING. Book clubs, knitting clubs - you name it.

Sorry I don't have more, I can just relate is all. :)

Answer 5

Usually, the older you get, the less interested in making
friends you become..

Answer 6

people are attracted to you and want to have what you have when they see and you impress them on any first occasion.remember every little things count and it is also how you treated people when they are around you.

Answer 7

Maybe you need to reevalutate your personality.

Answer 8

get your own ******* friends and quit complaining