i've been dating this guy for almost three years now. for the last six months, things have been going downhill but i always thought that whatever was happening would pass and everything would be good again. well i was wrong. the other day my boyfriend calls me up and tells me that he doesn't love me anymore and he wants to break up. he's tried to break up with me twice so far but everytime he does i get hysterical and crying, which is normal, but he ends up not breaking up with me and giving it a second chance, but its killing me inside. but i can't let go, not even for him. i want him to stay with me, but i have limited time and he won't call me and i was advised not to do anything and let him make all the moves. but if i try to win him over again, how do i do that? help me, i need to help him fall back in love with me, i can't live without him, and it took this messy "break up" to make me see that. i just can't do it and i don't want to. so please help me figure what to do.
2007-07-25 15:54:51 · 19 answers · asked by dani 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I am sorry you are heartbroken. You need someone to be honest with you. You cannot "make' someone fall in love with you sweetie. It sounds like the relationship is over and its time for you to grieve it and move on. 3 years is a long time , but you have to look back on all the things that you learned from eachother and look back on the things that you want to take with you into any new relationship and things you don't want to include in any new relationship. Every relationship we are in teaches us something. Its up to us to figure out what those things are. If a boy is really in love with you then there will be nothing stopping him from getting to you, calling you and finding ways to be with you. You can get over him in time. Its not going to be easy, but you can do this. YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT HIM. You lived without him before you ever knew him. My advice to you is to surround yourself with friends who love you and gather up support and spend time with those people and get out of the house and do something besides waiting for him to call. Please remember time is the one of the best healers of pain.
2007-08-02 00:54:49 · answer #1 · answered by billies35 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully he is just going through an emotional phase. Maybe he's not sure if he loves you anymore because you've been together for so long. All I can suggest is go back in time, make him a photo slide show with photos of yoy guys having great times together. Arrange a romantic evening and talk about special moments you shared in the past. Dont talk about the present yet. Let him figure out whats goin on in his mind, give him time and some space. If it doesn't work then you should think about moving on. It happens alot that two people fall out of love after some time. He might be staying with you out of pity and who wants a relationship like that?
2007-07-31 21:22:13 · answer #2 · answered by Rissiepit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you are in this position but then I just have something you might not like to hear. I think you should let him go..No use holding on to him if he says he doesn't love you. I know you guys have been dating for 3 years but then think about the people that have been married for 10,20,30 plus years they still end up getting a divorce. I have 2 friend one have been dating their bf for 7-8 yrs and other one about 5-6yrs they both end up breaking up with their bf. It's not that they don't love them but it's just that their bf is NOT faithful and cheats on both of them. Do you want your bf to cheat on you because you refuse to break up with him? Eventually this will not work therefore I suggest that you guys call it quits before you fall any deeper and make things more messy.
2007-07-25 16:00:35 · answer #3 · answered by Stanley the Westie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you can learn to love yourself, for who you are, when you are alone, then you should have a bf. I know it feels like you can't live without him, but such isn't the case. If you really think you should be with him, I think you should take some time to be single.
Figure out why you didn't talk to him openly about your problems. Figure out ways to handle problems, rather than getting hysterical. Ask yourself why you would want such a dramatic relationship. Then ask yourself, why on earth would you want a boyfriend who could walk away so easily. Don't you think you deserve better than that?
2007-08-01 14:01:06 · answer #4 · answered by i_have_cheese_dreams 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wan like this to I thought that my life was completely over and that I couldn't live with him but I was wrong what I had to do and you should do the same is pray and ask God to help you to see that you really don't need him what you need is to just get up and up a smile on you face and say to yourself that ain't no man is about to bring me down at. You should just let him go and just let him see that he was wrong to have let a nice, sweet, caring person go because he is not going to find no one that is like you. He is just going to see that other women that he be with is not what he think they are. If you need any thing just email me at thelmaruffin07@yahoo.com and I am here for you no matter what happen
2007-07-25 16:09:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him love you. The only one that ends up hurting is you. Let him go. Don't show him any tears, he isn't worthy. Threatening to leave some one that loves you just to make them cry isn't right, if he doesn't love you and tells you that he doesn't love you anymore should be a clear signal to you to just let him walk out that door. You deserve someone who is worthy of your love, and the only time you should be crying is because your happy. Understand?
Put your head up and face the inevitable. God is with you and will always be with you. Pray. God is the only one who can make you feel better. -God Bless.
2007-07-30 11:18:17 · answer #6 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think to little of yourself. why hang on to someone that wants to move on. Acting out like a hysterical crying child is not mature. Stand straight, blow your nose, let him go. You said you can't do it or don't want to. Well my dear stomping your feet does not change the fact that you have no choice. You can't make someone love you. It is called free will.
2007-07-25 16:18:03 · answer #7 · answered by Cinnamon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know this isnt easy, but honestly the best thing in this situation is space. your scared that if you do give him space hell just leave for good. but absence makes the heart grow fonder. so basically, if he doesnt have you, hell want you. if you do give him space, you have to give him SPACE. no calling, no contact, i did that with my boyfriend and in that way he didnt have a chance to get over me. because if you try the whole "lets be friends" thing, they have contact with you, and they have a chance to get over you because your still there for them.
so basically: give him the cold shoulder as hard and impossible as that sounds, and he will come around.
even if you do love each other, love is never enough. i dont encourage mind games, but looking needy right now is something you DO NOT want to do.
2007-07-25 16:00:10 · answer #8 · answered by __________________ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hysterically crying come on if he's going to dump u it will sooner or later sounds like ur scared to be a lone. good luck, but u needto end it b/c usually if it's going down hill too long it ends badly n u won't even have him in ur life at all
u could part as friends n at least talk
2007-08-01 03:52:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't continue loving someone that does not love you anymore. Correction you can still love him, but not in that way anymore. I dont see why you want to be with someone who does not want to be with you. Love yourself because you are worth loving. Move forward, you'd be surprise who and what can come into your life. Good Luck ;)
2007-07-25 16:01:53 · answer #10 · answered by The TrutH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋