My husband wants sex at least once a day. He has cheated in the past. I feel like if I don't give it to him everyday, he will cheat again. What should I do? Don't tell me to leave him. I seriously need to know what to do......
2007-07-25 15:06:35 · 27 answers · asked by Damon ♥ Elena 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No! I like sex....I just don't usually want it every single day.....
2007-07-25 15:11:24 · update #1
Ok in the past I have noticed things about myself, I'm not sure if others feel this way. I what I can't have and I don't want what comes easy. The reason I say this is, his sex drive might be due to the fact you don't want it, and that makes him want it that much more. Now if you pretended to want it all the time for lets say a month or so, making him think you want it every second of the day, I'll bet he'll start not wanting it as much. Try it and see, let me know how it goes. Good Luck
2007-07-25 15:12:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I think that he is too immature to be married and is only concerned with his own pleasure. If he has cheated in the past I want to know how you are forgetting about it. These issues don't just go away and you will always think about it, so I hope that you don't have any kids or are pregnant and really seriously leave him and find someone who is interested in your pleasure also. However, if you dont want to leave you need to at least find out why he cheated, what has changed, and how are the two of you handling the infidelity. Don't accept a cop out as an excuse; you need to find out what really went wrong. As far as wanting sex every day; what does he do to stoke the fire. Does he show intamacy and affection, or just want to get in and out. If that's his interest he may be a sex addict. Check out some books by steven arterburn. He has written books for the sex addict and the spouse of a sex addict. His web link is listed below.
2007-07-25 15:16:58 · answer #2 · answered by Husband 1st Kids 2nd 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Definitely encourage him to see a therapist or go to the various groups that they have on this addiction. You can go online and take various tests that may indicate if it is an addition. He does have personal responsbility to not cheat on you! An addiction is no excuse unless perhaps he is actively trying to get better and slips up in the middle of the healing process.
I'd also suggest that although I am sure you find it tiring, that you consider daily sex with him. Its not that hard when you come down to it, and you can be very quick and matter of fact about it with him. He will know you are making that sacrifice for him. It will also give you some peace of mind that you are doing your part no matter what he does.
2007-07-25 17:57:22 · answer #3 · answered by Rob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR HUSBAND has a urge to have sex everyday. He's cheated on you. And you are confused, it's confusing me. Only because, I know you don't want your husband to cheat on you. So my suggestion as a married woman is for you to be just as gentle as you were with him when the two of you first started. He cheated cause he wanted diversity. Switch it up a bit. Talk to him as soft as a whisper, when you are doing everything of what you normally do, while having sex with him, slow, passion, seductive. Use body oils with flavor, give him a massage and use your imagination on when to start kissing it off. Sex isn't a chore unless you look at it that way. I would never tell any married person to leave their mate unless I can tell that's what they want to hear. People ask questions cause they need a resolution. In some way we are all winners. Get freaky with your husband everyday, the catch is to not wait for him to ask for it. If you have to reach in your memory box everyday from a great time the two of you had while having sex, where he gets you marinated hold on to that thought and let that be your starter to giving him what he wants. Work it out my sister, spices have always left a good taste and thought in my husband's head, my head and our tongue. Enjoy :)
2007-07-25 15:28:33 · answer #4 · answered by Susie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think that you have caught yourself in a trap. You say to NOT say Leave him.
Yet you say you feel like if you don't have sex daily with him you feel he will cheat.
I have to say, that is no way to have a relationship. Sex is not supposed to be a job.
Here's the thing, if he really is addicted to sex, what happens with addicts? Once isn't enough, they need more. Just like that old silly guns 'n rose's song "I used to do a lil' then a lil' wouldn't do it"
If he wants to cheat, he will. Regardless if you are having sex with once per day.
You could ask him to seek help, however, there is the chance that he is not addicted, and needs the physical connection.
But honestly, It's not what you want to hear, but I would consider taking a break from the marriage, as I wouldn't want to be having sex with my husband in hopes of keeping him.
Loving and being committed to me should be his inspiration to stay, not whether or not I have sex with him every single day.
2007-07-25 15:14:45 · answer #5 · answered by Sumie 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Pea let me explain something to you, a lot of men like sex every day this doesn't mean he is a sex addict. I do believe you should fulfill his needs just as well as he should fulfill yours. I would never tell anyone to leave their spouse because that is not the answer. Find things you can do to make your sex life very exciting. There is things you can do to make things better for the both of you. Have you tried talking to your king about this. Maybe, you both can come up with sometihings that will work for the both of you. Sex is a big part of marriage and I hope you both can find something that works for you both. Good luck!
2007-07-25 15:28:49 · answer #6 · answered by b n real 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wanting sex at least once a day is NOT normal. Don't care what anyone says on the matter. It's unrealistic, unnatural, and just plain fantasy. Satyriasis comes to mind. If you are afraid he will cheat if you don't give him what he wants, that is not love. It's extortion. Get him an inflatable doll and some lubricant, that's all he seems to want.......
You deserve better than that.
2007-08-01 10:10:27 · answer #7 · answered by Eric C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With the little bit of information you gave, the only thing I can say is that I am not sure that his choice to cheat and the fact that he wants sex with you everyday are part of the same issue. Sex everyday was great for me in my twenties and thirties.... but I never, ever felt like if I didn't do it, my man would cheat. Could that be your perception only because if he is that childish... and THAT is childish... I would run, not walk.
2007-07-25 15:34:03 · answer #8 · answered by Bentley 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can I ask what is wrong with making love to the person you married every day?
I mean, I am married (12 years) and I am 30 weeks pregnant and I work part time and care for our sick son.
So, I come home clean house and cook dinner etc etc.
But if my hubby wants it, I give it to him willingly no matter how tired I am!
And he wanted it 3 times already today!
Now imagine what you can do!
If you love him, and do not wish to lose him..give him his lovings. It should not be a "JOB"
Making love to the person you care for is an adventure! You just need to find that special something that gets you charged for his affections!
Blessings and luck
2007-07-25 15:23:18 · answer #9 · answered by Midnight Winter WOLF 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure that you are serious, but don't you think that you should meet him for a while and see if this will taper off. You should initiate it, and yes get active as a couple doing other activities together. Of course, get help if it does not taper off, but on the whole, get yourself a pill and try at least before putting a hard line to it.
2007-07-25 19:49:30 · answer #10 · answered by duccees 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋