Would you ever do this???

Question

Would you let your daughters boyfriend(both 12) live with you? His home life is not good, so he crashes at our house alot. When ever he comes over, he is crying really hard. He would sleep on the sofa downstairs. I compleatly trust them home together alone. He comes over alot and they hang out in her room and they never do stupid things. He is "Emo Stright Edge" which means no drugs, alcohol, sex, or voilence. We all love him to death, but my husband says that allowing them to live together would make us grand parents very soon. My main concern is his band. I don't know how the neighbors will react to their music. He is very polite. Would you let him stay?
I trust them with the doors closed! My husband doesn't trust them in the TV room, with the lower halves of their bodys covered in a blanket with the whole family in the room. Would you leave them home alone for a weekend?

My daughter wants him to sleep in her room but I said No Way! If they break-up, I would allow him to stay. My husband and I put him in rehab 3 months ago. Now he is a NON cutter! We paid for rehab and instead of cutting, he now plays drums, guitar, or bass. We are all very proud.

Answer 1

I dont care how much you trust your daughter, if they arent already, they will start having sex! especially if you let them sleep in the same bed! and i can bet anything on it because when i was 14 my boyfriend moved in for the same reason.(his step dad was abusive)for the first two weeks, he slept on the couch and whenever my mom would go to work we would have sex. then she let him sleep in my bed with me as long as we promised not to have sex, which was complete bs and then comes my 16th birthday and im 2 months pregnant. my mom would have bet her life to anyone that we werent sleeping together because we were as close as could be and she trusted me. unfortunately i had a miscarriage a week after i found out i was pregnant but i believe that everything happens for a reason and almost 3 years later my boyfriend and i are still happily in love but take it from me, they will have sex. hope i helped♥♥♥

Answer 2

I read this question about 6 times before deciding whether or not I should answer it. It contains so much information. First of all I am not sure what state you live in that you were able to take a minor you do not have custody of and place him into rehab. Did his parents have to sign papers and do you now have custody of him? Thats a big issue because he needs health issurance and well you know all that goes along with raising a child. Secondly you state this boy is EMO. Well my son was too. He did NOT come from a troubled background. He was raised with values and morals and was well taught. His older sister is a senior in college with never any problems. My son however got mixed up with the wrong girl and ended up hooked on drugs and ended up in rehab. We aren't so proud. He will be going to college this fall , but with an uncertain picture of whether or not he is still sober.

Now you claim to trust these two 12-year-olds in your home with doors closed and I am going to be very honest with you here. You are going to end up a grandma way before you are ready and cheat your daughter out of a normal teen life. She is 12. 12. There is no way and you know it is true for her to know what love really is. This is a good friend of hers and her first crush, but if you keep allowing them so much time alone and allowing the situation to keep growing in the manner it appears your little girl will end up being a mother sooner than later. I have to agree with your husband on this one.

I am sorry this young man is so troubled from his home life. There are places to call like Child Protection Agencys and such, but I believe you might be doing more harm than good for your own child in allowing her boyfriend to spend nights there and etc. Even though you love him, you must put your own child first and think of her future.

And no.. I would NOT leave them alone for one night let alone an entire weekend. They might not have had sex yet, but eventually they will given all this alone time. EMO is just a phase for all kids. Don't let that fool you into thinking this means your daughter is safe.

Answer 3

I am 14 and I know from experience that even though u r not planing on things happening they do. I have a one year old son and i diddnt plan that it just happened and his mom and i werent even living 2gether. this kid though nice is at the age where u dont think b4 u act and do stupid things. How do u think i ended up with a son who hasent seen his mother sience he was 3 months old? If this child is having problems at home u should call social services or talk to the parents.

Just 2 let u know that kid that u trust so much was on ur acount and asked a question about emo boys and if it is hot when they make out!!

Answer 4

1. You have to be a guardian for the child or face law suit.

2. Your 12 year old daughter would NOT even ASK for him to sleep in her room with the doors closed if she did NOT have something on her mind. My sister is 12 now, and I can tell you they don't think like 7 year olds like you think they do. Children are maturing faster these days, much faster than they did when you were a child. It's the 20th century! If you let them stay in the same room or stay a weekend together, you're going to be a grandmother sooner than you hoped.

3. Your husband is ABSOLUTELY right.

Answer 5

First, you could be in legal trouble for harboring a run away. Regardless of how his home life is, if his parents still have custody, they get to decide where he lives.

Second, there is no way I'd leave them home alone - or really even in the same room alone - until they're both legal adults. They're still children, not even teenagers yet. Just because you don't know they do stupid things doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

Also, I don't know that you can legally leave a 12 year old alone for the weekend. I know in some places it's illegal to leave a kid that age home alone at all, much less overnight.

EDIT:

I just wanted to add that I don't think being in a relationship at all at that age is a good idea. When my sister was 11, she threatened to kill herself if her boyfriend left her. Luckily he had the sense to go to the school counselor - most 11 yr old boys wouldn't. Ever since then, she's gotten way too attached to every guy she's dated, and it's led to some dramatic times that she could have easily avoided. I think she has some relationship and emotional issues that stem back to having a boyfriend so young. She's now engaged to a guy she's only known a couple of months, and pregnant with his child. Just some food for thought.

Answer 6

i have twin 11 yr. old girls and they are just starting with boyfriends. even if you really like this boy and trust him hormones get in the way. and if his home life is so bad then it might carry over to him some how. you need to contact a school councilor or social services before there is more problems. and your husband is right to not allow them in a closed room together. last if you did let him stay and they broke up which they will and you kept him there your daughter would not be happy. you would make her very uncomfortable and she would feel like you are pushing any other guy away by having him there.

Answer 7

i'd let him stay if you don't trust him with your daughter put camera's in or something if he's lifes not that greatmaybe you are the best thing thats every happened to him poor kid keep up the good work god will make sure nothing bad happens youre taking care of his children and from up in heaven he's smiling down on you and he's very proud you're his daughter

Answer 8

If his parents were okay with it or if social services said it was okay, and if they stay in seperate rooms and aren't left alone very much then I would trust him. My boyfriend stays here sometimes, but he's 20, and I'm 17. He's pretty much been part of the family for a year to me, and he's been with my brother's best friend for like 10 years, so it's a completely different situation. Don't get yourself into legal trouble over this. If you really think he'd be better off living with you then take the correct steps to make it happen, and watch over him and your daughter. If you have to, put her on birth control just in case.

Answer 9

With his home being bad, I would. I wouldn't let them sleep in the same room & just to be safe I'd put my daughter on birthcontrol. You'd probably be going through some stuff with his parents to let him live with you but, thats up to you. I don't know if I would leave them home alone for a weekend but, then again you know your daughter more than I do. And you may be able to trust her but then again be careful. Kids do make mistakes.

Answer 10

ABSOLUTELY NOT!No more "crashing" either unless you WANT to be a grandmother.I know you want to help.FIRST look at the facts, your daughters and these boys are horny teenagers who do not think like a mature adult.The boys have emotional problems you aren't aware of yet and are probably not healthy mentally .Is this the kind of guys you want your daughters to make babies with and/or marry? IF THEIR HOME LIFE IS THAT BAD Then CALL CPS!Let them get those kids out of their.I have seen what you are thinking of doing backfire TOO many times.