My step son has started treating me badly. What should I do?

Question

We used to get along great, but now that he is driving a car he seems to think that he is all grown up and can call me names for no reason, argue about everything I say, and just plain offensive and rude.
His dad says it is just his age (17). I disagree, I have grown children of my own that would of never been allowed to disrespect an adult, and I do not try to be a parent to him as he has his Mother and father in the picture. Should I just ignore him or stick up for myself?

he treats his mom worse than me, she has told me this herself.

I've tried talking to my husband, he just wants to bury his head in the sand, and not deal with it. He says the kids is getting on his nerves too, but he doesn't know what to do.

Answer 1

First of all he isn't grown up until he has survived at least a couple of years on his own and seventeen is no where close to even having the thought.
Also kids now a days are a hundred times more rebelious than we were in ours. We cramp their style or something, I'm not sure.
But as you being your own person as well as married to one of the parents you not only have the right to stick up for yourself but he also has to learn that You will not be disrespected in any manner in your own home. And that by it's self is written in stone with me.

If he is getting as nasty as I can well imagine he is then talk to both the parents about his offensive behavior towards you.
If he thinks hes king Chit cause he's got the ability to drive away then take his car from him for a while.

I can understand you trying to be a friend and not a parent but eventually he is going to have to experience a reality check that he cannot treat an adult like that.

Answer 2

What to do- the kid has no RESPECT. If he is driving one of your cars then no more cars for him. Start taking things away from him. His age has NOTHING do do with disrespect- you and your husband need to address this immediately- your house your rules. Have a family meeting and let the kid know that you and your husband are supporting each other. Draw boundaries(which by the way you have not done) and tell him there are consequences for inappropriate language. What flys at his mothers house does not fly at yours. Stand your ground be firm be united be the parents.

Answer 3

Your husband should not allow his son to be disrespectful to an adult. Tell your husband your feelings and let him do it though. Don't try to discipline the teenager or he will just get more resentful. You could try talking to the boy in a low, nice tone of voice though and see if something else is bothering him that has caused him to change so much. Maybe he has gotten into drugs or drinking that has changed his behavior.

If you are a Christian or have faith, pray about it too! Good luck!

Answer 4

Since the father is going to bury his head in the sand and not do anything about this..side-step the father and talk directly to the young man. Let him know this will not happen anymore and if it does he will be grounded. Treat him as you would have one of your children doing this. You don't have to be mean to him, just don't let him get away with it. If ignored your asking for bigger problems down the road.

Answer 5

Your husband should stand up for you- his son or not, he should not be speaking to you with disrespect like that and get away with it, would he get away with that doing it to his mother? Would his father allow him to speak to his mother this way? You are no different. He lives under your roof? he lives by your rules or he can get out PERIOD! He is almost 18 don't forget. And the car keys can be taken if they appear to be effecting his attitude, let him ride a bike for a week and see how he likes that.

Answer 6

Have mom and dad take away his car until he can start respecting people like an adult. Let him know children shouldn't be driving cars that is a privilege reserved for adults or atleast teenagers that act like responsible adults.

Answer 7

You need to let him know you will not stand for it. It will only get worse for you. he is walking all over you. He has a mother and a father and they need to let him know that they will also not except this from him. Dad is wrong for saying it is his age. dad needs to have a talk with him and see what is going on. Maybe you hurt his feelings and didn't know you did. maybe Mom said something bad about you like you stole his dad from them. You never know and you have a right to not be treated like a door mat.....good luck

Answer 8

Tell your husband that the name calling will stop now. What he is being is rude, not a typical teenager. His father needs to put his foot down and put a stop to it and you need to tell your step son that if he keeps on doing that, he will see certain things like TV and Computers dissapearing.

Answer 9

Well, stick up for yourself. But not with your stepson, with your husband. If your husband is allowing his son to treat you badly he is neither being a good husband nor a good father. You deserve to be treated with respect, and your stepson needs to learn manners. That's your husband's responsibility to teach or discipline his son. And if your husband can't/won't do that, recognize that he is not living up to his responsibilities to you or to his son, and decide how you want to handle that.

Answer 10

You need to stick up for yourself to your HUSBAND. HE needs to discipline HIS son. By not doing so he is basically ALLOWING his son to treat you with disrespect which tells me that your husband doesn't respect you either.