and won't let up, and won't let her get away, and she hits him,is it abuse? I mean like when he just sees her glance at a poster of a guy, and then starts yelling at her in the face that she likes other men, and that she is a _______, and doesn't deserve him. And that is all she did. And he keeps on and tells her that the family doesn't need her at all, they'd be better off without her, and she strikes out and slaps him, is it abuse?
2007-07-25 11:20:11 · 14 answers · asked by goldtabl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would say no, but hitting is NEVER the answer. next time try to hold you temper and try food poisioning.
2007-07-25 11:24:40 · answer #1 · answered by pooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose it is abuse. Hitting is abuse.
What bothers me about this situation most is that it seems majority of men complain about not being "the man in charge" anymore. They talk about caveman days when women did what men told them, cooked their dinner on time, iron their clothes etc. They want the benefits of being treated like a gentleman without acting like one! Truth is, in the "good ol' days" if a man called a woman a foul name, she would slap him and be considered a lady! These days, she's an abusive *****.
The reality is, they are legally abusing each other so it will come down to whoever reports the abuse first. That's who will win.
2007-07-25 18:27:27 · answer #2 · answered by brassinpocket 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not abuse.
It's self defense.
I'm sorry you are with a man you have to defend yourself from.
It appears that the entire world is a threat to him. He's not very secure in his marriage or his masculinity.
Start asking him every day if there is anything you can do for him. Just indicate that you think about him at some point in your day.
Honestly compliment him on something, anything, every day. "Hon, you look great in those slacks." or "I see you changed the oil in the car. Thank you.' whatever, just so it is true.
Now, start making note of his triggers: a) other men, animate or inanimate. This is not going to go away. So, you have to be prepared when he goes off. If he raises his voice, just say, " You're yelling, Bob." He calls you a _____. You say, "You're calling me names, Bob." He prevents you from removing your presence, you say, "Bob, I'd like to use the bathroom now." or wash the dishes, or put in the towels, whatever.
Do not react to his behaviors. Take a deep breath. Try to hear what his ranting means, "Hey, you looked at another guy and now I feel insecure...."
So you say, "I was just thinking, you have much nicer shoulders."
Calmly and sweetly, and then walk away. Teach him the foolishness of his insecurities.
Do not respond when he raises his voice. Do not respond if he traps you in. Just crumple in a heap on the floor and sit. Quietly. No response.
Eventually he needs to learn to express himself in a civil tone.
You can e-mail him since verbal communication is precarious at best. Just say, "I hope things can change. I love it when we talk and share our lives. I miss you when you do things that alienate me."
Sit with yourself and really examine his behavior patterns. See what you can help him modify. Change will have to come from him, but you may be able to subtly diffuse some situations.
Good luck, dear.
God bless you and yours.
2007-07-25 18:54:48 · answer #3 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's being verbally/emotionally abusive, she is being physically abusive. They really, really need to get some counseling before this goes over the edge and someone winds up in the pokey overnight. It'll be the wife. Whoever hits gets taken away.
2007-07-25 18:24:27 · answer #4 · answered by Sassie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, yeah, if she jacked him in the chops, it is technically abuse. but what he is doing is also considered abuse.
what she needs to do is tell him to back the heck off. see, he knows that she can't handle someone being in her face...this is why he gets up in her face. it is much more effective than slapping her around, because it gets her to lash out FIRST.
she needs to lay the smack down and tell him to either get a grip on his mouth and verbal abuse, or hit the road.
abuse is abuse. whether it is physical or verbal, emotional or otherwise. no one deserves it, and no one should tolerate it.
i say if he can't get some self control, then she should cut him loose. who needs that treatment anyway?
2007-07-25 18:43:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to me. It might to someone else, but if she explained what happened, then I dun see why anyone would see it as abuse. I know this is wrong, but next time, beat the **** outa him. No guy has the right to abuse a women physically or emotionally like that.
2007-07-25 18:26:04 · answer #6 · answered by ralos2k3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its metal abuse,coming from the husband,and physical abuse coming from you,if you were to leave a mark on him,and he called the police,you would be charged,get away from him,obviously you two bring the worst out in each other,and hes extremely jelous.
2007-07-25 18:28:50 · answer #7 · answered by marie e 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's verbal, emotional abuse on his part and physical abuse on her part. Why would he or she choose to stay? There are better ways of relating.
2007-07-25 18:24:48 · answer #8 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's called needing a time out for both of them.
2007-07-25 18:26:27 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is this a question? Why are still with some one that treats you bad. Hit the ejection seat button now.
2007-07-25 18:24:22 · answer #10 · answered by eric l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is abuse. You need to get away, he will do anything and everything to control you.
2007-07-25 18:27:00 · answer #11 · answered by Lostandconfused 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋