2007-07-25 10:39:06 · 54 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why do you want to keep their friendship. my trust for both would be ruined. i would dump both
2007-07-25 10:41:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
I too have been cheated on recently. You need to take a step back and get them both out of your life for a while. It may take a week it may take a year, but you need time to think and reflect on it all. Some people can never get past the anger and hurt from being betrayed. Some can. If you want to work it out (this is if the relationship with your "friend" is over and she is committed to working it out), then you will have to forget about it. If after reflecting, you think it would be impossible... if you think you would try to get her back or continually bring it up, it would be best to let the relationship go and get on with your life. If you think (just by knowing your own nature) that you can eventually let it go completely, then work it out. First, accept your role in the problem. She wouldn't cheat if she were feeling fulfilled and love by you. That's no EXCUSE, there's never an excuse. But to actually fix the relationship for longterm, you have to accept your role in the problem. After you realize what you've done, make sure she realizes just how much she has hurt you. TALK about it. Get the details if you want them at your own pace. You have to forgive each other for the mess you've made out of the entire situation. As for your friend, OUT OF YOUR LIFE for good. There's no excuse and it's not forgiveable. You nor your wife should ever see him again. So, take a break and decide if you actually want the relationship to survive. If you do, can you really let it all go after a healing period? If you can let it go, can you accept your role and correct your own actions? If so, is your wife willing to accept her fault in the destruction of your marriage? If you guys can do all this, you can heal your relationship and become happier than you ever were. My husband and I have.
2007-07-25 10:51:50 · answer #2 · answered by Erin C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were not clear if you wanted to keep your friendship with your wife or your friend. A cheating wife means she is in need more of what you give her. Ask her why she cheated? About your best friend, he may be doing you a favor by filling up the void of what your wife needed. But if he did it just for the arousal, then he is not a friend.
2007-07-25 10:46:33 · answer #3 · answered by rh m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You best friend has betrayed you. Your wife as betrayed you.
Both have ground any basis for friendship in to the ground. There is no basis for forgiveness here even if they claim to have been 'overcome with passion'. Both should have avoided the situation.
Stop it with this naive idea of forgiveness here. You are being taken for a fool.
Don't cast pearls to swine.
Move on buddy. You sound like a nice guy and nice guys can do better.
2007-07-25 11:00:13 · answer #4 · answered by philip_jones2003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The issue here, which is often the issue for marital problems, is a lack of communication. You love your wife! Speak to her! Most importantly, listen to her! Maybe she likes to get tag teamed. Have you ever asked her? I didn't think so. Maybe you and your friend can give her the ol' see-saw on a regular basis. That'd be pretty cool. That way everyone has fun and there are no more hurt feelings.
On another note, that "Erin C." up there sure seems like a nutbag.
2007-07-26 08:56:20 · answer #5 · answered by alonzo_spellman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife cannot see your friend ever again, or it will happen again. You have to pick your friend or wife. I'd say your friend is a total dick head, he has zero loyalty to you, actually both have zero loyalty to you.
But look at the other downside, so many people get divorced, you may eventually hate your wife to no end, and wish you at least had your buddy there, because it is sometimes more difficult to find a good bud than a gal to marry.
2007-07-25 10:57:03 · answer #6 · answered by David S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man there is nothing left to save here!
Your wife is a ***** and your Best Friend as you call him is the biggest Asshole in the World!
Those people dont deserve your Friendship!
Cant believe he did that! Cant believe you still call him your Best Friend! Cant believe you want to save your Friendship!
I would get crazy and Kill'em Both! SLOWLY!
2007-07-25 10:45:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he slept with ur wife. Then forget them. First off ur wife should not be cheating on u and should not benn with ur best friend. That is wrong. I dont know what to tell u. If u wanna try to save the relationship between u ur wife and ur friend tell them ho w u feel. I would dump the both of them. That is wrong.
2007-07-25 10:48:12 · answer #8 · answered by Lepercaun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
fck that. if your best friend screwed your wife, youd still take him back? wow if he was really your friend he wouldnt have done that. but you shouldnt be the one worrying about your friendship being ruined, hes the one that should be doing all the worrying and if hes not, then he just isnt a very good friend now is he?
2007-07-25 10:44:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife cheated on your with your best friend and you're wanting to save the friendship?!
Dude--he slept with your wife. It takes two to tango, and it's not like he wasn't at fault here. Your friendship was ruined the moment he decided to betray you and sleep with your betraying wife.
2007-07-25 10:42:16 · answer #10 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife obviously enjoys this mans company and obviously so do you. The answer is to let him move in with you and your wife so you can all see plenty of each other openly. Then there will be no guilt, no choosing, no spoiled relationship or friendship.
2007-07-25 10:45:18 · answer #11 · answered by bri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋