I'm married with 2 kids and I love my family dearly. Recently I went to a family members funeral and met up with a cousin I hadn't seen in over 20 years. So we started talking (on the phone we live very far away). Out of the blue he texts me and says he's in love with me and always has been since we were kids. I love him I really do and I think I have the same feelings for him but I know it can never be. It's just all kinds of wrong. So what should I do?
2007-07-25 10:24:10 · 29 answers · asked by Sexy Anna 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Adam and Eve were molded out of the same ground. But be honest to your husband. History is full of marriages in the same blood-line.
2007-07-25 10:42:47 · answer #1 · answered by fide88101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really have the same feelings for him that he has for you, and if you are convinced that you can do this thing secretly without hurting your husband or your marriage, then try a "friends with benefits" affair with him and see how it goes. He lives far away, so you will only be able to do it occasionally, and this should add some excitement to it. As far as, "It's just all kinds of wrong," forget about that if you are speaking about him being a cousin. That doesn't matter. You are consenting adults and can do what you want. The question is whether you can do this thing without harming your marriage. And only you can answer that....
2007-07-25 18:13:07 · answer #2 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure this is right or not, but can't cousins still get married? I know second cousins can, and for some reason I am thinking first cousins can too.
But on the other note, how do you feel about your family? And your spouse? Would you give them up for your cousin, who is already and will always be a part of your family?
You think you love and share the same feelings for your cousin as he does you. Do you KNOW that you love your husband? Shouldn't that be good enough?
2007-07-25 17:33:41 · answer #3 · answered by Linds 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While this does raise the "ick" response in many people, it is important to note that in some states first cousins are legally allowed to marry. But while the law may accept it, your own family would likely not. How would your children feel if their mother hooked up with their first cousin once removed? If you're feelings were strong for your cousin, why haven't you seen each other in 20 years?
Honestly, it sounds like you have an urge to "get your freak on". That's cool, but hooking up with your cus' aint the way to do it. Grab your hubby, take turns tying each other up, and keep your life together.
2007-07-25 17:33:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away...do not even go there... it can only cause problems for everyone around you...you might find a good excuse as to why this could work (I do not know how close of cousins are you - 1st, 2nd, 3rd?), but think of your kids as well. They might be hurt by you decision to date you cousin for the rest of their life. And think about it...how did you not realize your feelings before you saw him after 20 years. Is everything ok in you marriage? If you need a getaway than think what is wrong with your life before you do something that might follow you for the rest of your life and what you might regret one day. There is nothing to do...just stay away and that s it. Don't be selfish and ruin everyone's life just because you think that life with him would make you happy. This is wrong, sooo wrong and you know it, so stop thinking of him and that is it...and tell him to go on with his own life too as you two could never be.
2007-07-25 21:00:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Incest...is...BAD!!! Don't let yourself fall for your cousin! It's wrong in SO many ways! Try sitting down alone, and forcing those feelings away. When you think of you cousin in the middle of the day, just start thinking about your husband instead. Your husband is supposed to be the one who you love with ALL your heart forever, right?
2007-07-25 17:30:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think about your family. If you feel that this is wrong, I would recommend you don't do it. Your cousin should respect that you're married and such. You should talk to your cousin about this and base your feelings toward him only family love related. Ofcourse if you really feel for him, i would tell you to see how your life already is before making any drastic decisions.
2007-07-25 17:29:22 · answer #7 · answered by ------ -- 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First its your cousin. You are married and have kids. You can have feelings but don't let that get in the way of something wonderful you have created with your husband i.e. your marriage.
2007-07-25 17:28:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You. Are. Married. Even if he wasn't your cousin, you swore an oath to a man you say that you love dearly.
The grass is always greener over the fence, but it will be bitter on your tongue if you're fool enough to pursue this.
2007-07-25 17:28:19 · answer #9 · answered by triviatm 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that a sexual relationship can never work and that you can remain friends. If he doesn't like that idea or refuses to except it, then you need to cut ties. Very wrong on so many levels!
2007-07-25 17:29:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋