Married and missing?

Question

I got married about 20 years ago because I was desperate.

Is this possible to have wanted marriage for security and have felt sadness and depression because of the choice?
I have been on medication on and off for the past 6 years. Married for 15 years.

Sometimes I want to run away or die.


I am that person people think is always happy.

I smile often.

Married for 15 years, I was living together first. Sorry.

Answer 1

Sorry about your condition. I always believe that there is always a rainbow at the end of the storm, a silver lining in the gray sky, that when God closes a door, He opens a window.

In my opinion, your choice to get married desperately was probably NOT the reason (or not the only reason) why you felt sad and depressed. Our life is affected by so many factors and they contribute to our mood. Moods that lingers or moods that go away immediately.

Get a hobby with a friend, hang out with old friends, sign up at a gym to keep your time occupied and set a reasonable goal. That way, you're also staying healthy. Attend socials, anything that involves other people.

People think you're happy because maybe that is what they see in you. But maybe you are a private person that you don't want anyone to know your personal life and inner feelings. But you know, it helps to have someone know what you're going through. Someone you trust. If not, you can be candid about life's problems.

Life is too precious to waste. Do not even think about hurting yourself. You could miss a great opportunity but you won't know that unless you continue weaving the threads of our lives.

Enjoy life. I think you're a great person.

Answer 2

Oh honey. So many people get married for the wrong reasons. Most of the time it is security. And being married for the wrong reasons will make you very very sad and depressed. Please don't run away or die. The most important thing to do is find something that truly makes you happy. Whether its a hobby, a pet, a friend, a job. There is something in this world that you have been blessed with, a gift of sorts. Then when you know what happiness feels like you can judge how your feeling toward your marriage against that feeling and you will know if you've made a mistake. Maybe you don't believe in divorce or you are scared to be on your own. You could try to bring your happiness into your relationship. Even arranged marriages have become loving, respectful relationships. Best of luck to you. Its hard to soul search but I know you can do it.

Answer 3

We marry for many different reasons and it isn't always for love. We marry for companionship, friendship, security, etc.
We aren't always aware of how this decision is going to affect us later on.

What are the reasons that you feel sad and depressed? What seems to be missing from your life? Is it just that you need to find something to be passionate about again or are you sure it is the marriage?

Being on medication can numb the pain of depression, but it doesn't necessarily deal with the causes. Until you face whatever it is head on, your life will continue in this same way.

I know how you feel about being the person everyone thinks is happy. I am that person too. There is a whole other life underneath that mask you are wearing. You need to learn how to live your life authentically and be who you really are. This will help in the evolution of your soul. A major transformation in your life is always scarey, but can be really great for you. I hope you are able to find happiness.

Answer 4

oh my God. That's really sad. Does your spouse know how you feel? I really don't think it's worth it anymore if you prefer death than a marriage with this person. There are lots of people who marry people for security and not for love. That's one of the many contributing factors to the increasing divorce rate. After thinking to yourself and talking to your spouse, figure out what matters more and if you can handle being on you own again after all these years. Whatever choice you make, I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

You got married 20 years ago, but have been married for 15 years? Something doesn't add up. In any case, marrying out of desperation is one of the worst things you can do, IMO. What is your question?

Answer 6

You would do well to start being true to yourself. If you feel unhappy, do not smile. Tell people you feel depressed. Tell your spouse about your unhappiness and ask for support. Most importantly, visit a doctor to be assessed for antidepressant medications and referral to a good counselor. Depression is a serious illness that needs to be treated because it is potentially terminal; the thought, "Sometimes I want to die" morphs for some people into suicidal thoughts. Don't wait -- see your doctor! Admitting you have a problem is the first step in getting better.

Answer 7

I don't think you seem happy. Yes you can marry for the wrong reasons and be depressed. I say you need to see a therapist and work out your problems.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Well you now know where you went wrong. Learn from your mistake and make a change. Start the healing process and find your self. Do what will make you happy.

Answer 9

You said yourself that you married because you were desperate.
I believe it is better to be "happy alone" as "sad with bad company."
Do whatever you must to be happy and fulfilled.

Answer 10

This ebook might help you to understand what's wrong in your relationship and It also teaches what to do to try saving your marriage http://savemarriage.toptips.org
It helped me alot!