my husband signed up for a friendfinder site, but he denies it and says he doesn't know what it is?

Question

I checked my husband's email today and found a message stating he had a new message on this website. I went to the website and needed to log in, well i told them I had lost my log in info and they immediatly emailed it to me. I went on the site and it is for people (married or single) looking for friends or someone to have an affair with. I called him at work and confronted him about it and he admitantly denies signing up for anything like that. I don't know what to think because he just is not the type of person to cheat (or so I thought), and in my eyes doing something like that is as much cheating as meeting someone in a motel room and having sex! If anyone out there has some advise for me I would greatly appreciat it!

Answer 1

If you trust him and have never doubted what he says. Sometimes that crap can get mixed up and they send it to the wrong person...sometimes. I would deffinatly keep an eye on things for a while. Although my hubby gets invites from places I know he isnt apart of. So it may well be a mistake.

IF you logged on and found his name with another girl wanting to hook up then...there u have proof.

Answer 2

Bad idea to confront him on the phone. Body language would have told you a LOT in this.
What are you doing checking his emails, anyway? Does he do porn? It's POSSIBLE it is junk mail. Log on for a closer look. Where is his profile? Is anyone e-mailing him? Pictures? Do you have e-mail he accesses?
OK, so when he gets home.
BE REAL calm. Don't scream and holler. YOU want information, not a big fight. YOu want him talking. YOU KNOW already. YOU DO know what to think, you just don't want to think it.
Show him the web-site. Ask him if he has any idea how it got there. Ask him how in the world it could have just appeared? Let him answer. It ought to be amusing.
ASK him if he cares if you delete it. WATCH WHAT he does!
Delete it.
TELL him in no uncertain terms that you are upset and worried. Make it an occasion for you to tell him what the rules are. Maybe he is confused.
Tell him you will not tolerate him cheating online.Tell him, it is a DEAL-BREAKER, so if he plans on continuing to do this, you want to know now, so you can MAKE PLANS. Don't tell him what plans. Just leave it hanging.
Ask him if HE thinks that is cheating--so you are both using the same definition.That should be fun, too.
If he doesn't try everything he can to make you feel better, and comfort you-he's guilty and doesn't want to take the heat..
If he comforts you, and tells you he was just messing around and it doesn't mean anything, remind him it is a deal-breaker, and you will allow him to make it up to you somehow.
TEll him you don't know if you can trust him, now. Make him earn it. He should be transparent with nothing hidden. EVER
If he gets pissed or accuses you, or gets wayyyy too upset, he is guilty and wanted to get caught, so he could be challenged.
The real question is What are YOU going to do, now?

Answer 3

Is your husband now quiet, and maybe stays to himself more than before? Does he come home later from work than usual? When you confronted him about it did he seem calm or did he sound a little nervous?

Were you guys having fights or small petty agruments over your married life? Because if he signed up for a friendfinder site, than he was probably looking for sex....it was either that or somebody signed up for him which sounds a little crazy.

And you said that he doesn't seem like the type to cheat well you know it's always the ones you don't expect. So my advice to you is when he gets home from work, study his face expressions, the way he speaks to you. See if he seems nervous, or anxiuos when you two talk about the issue. And if you want to take things up a level, try to make him feel guilty, make him regret what he's done (if he's done anything), and you never know you just might get a confession.

If he does confess well I'll let you handle that part.

Answer 4

He's full of horsesh*t.

Web sites don't just sign people up.

The friend site can send you the information of when he signed up including your computer's IP address so there is no question it was him.

Like many cheaters, he is extremely selfish which means they will lie until their balls are wired to 9 car batteries and they've been juiced a few times before they spill the truth.

Yes, it was him.

yes he wants an affair.

yes he is a sociopath who has little to no guilt.

Yes he has betrayed you.

Don't ask him *if* he did it - *tell* him you called the company and now it's not if but why. Was he just goofing around (he'll say yes it was a goof. which it was not. he was dead serious.)

Then when he says it was a goof, tell him to log in and show you his accouint. You get to drive the mouse and keyboard, not him. He will sh*t kittens.

All hell should break loose from there. If he says no then he has something to hide. If he lets you see you'll pound his nuts into peanut butter.

Enjoy.

Answer 5

Since it was your computer used who else has access to it . Go to the web site sign in an go to my it will tell you about the person that posted the add an his site name his picture if he used 1 is there? Check this if it sound like lover boy check favorites for sites & check history for sites. Check e/mail trash .He should of changed users before playing.If he had you would of not of seem it So check there are places to look on the computer for info. if it is him your call he is or has cheating as make a copy if needed later.Sorry for your drama . I hope it not true.

Answer 6

Looks to me like there are some secrets in his closet. I am not saying that his motive is to cheat on you, but honesty is the main key for a relationship. If he signed up for that site and denies it, than you need to show him up front proof. Print out the page...the paper...his password. And confront him with those documents. It is not a mistake or a spam mail...because if it was, there wouldn't be a password that came back to you when you registered it as "LOST PASSWORD". After confronting him, you need to sit him down and tell him that you two need to talk and work things out. Find out why he did what he did. You don't need to worry and you shouldn't have to worry about this. It is better to get it over and done with than wait and live life with worries.

"Let tomorrow's worry stay for tomorrow, for today's worry is enough to worry about".

Answer 7

Breaking it to you gently, you caught him before he paid the for the motel. Is your marriage worth saving? You will likely have a mistrust for him for quite some time. Weigh your options, if the offense outweighs the benefits of marriage leave him

Answer 8

Well, clearly if you're reading his email there is already a trust issue at play here.

Why would you feel you have to check his email? It's just a symptom of the lacking communication in your relationship to begin with. Him signing up for this website (which he probably did. Junk mail doesn't include user names and passwords) is just another symptom of some greater issue.

COUNCELING should be your first step. And remember - it takes two to create a problem, it takes two to solve it.

Answer 9

It is obvious he is lying. As for his intent, he wanted to see what is out there. Would he have actually acted to meet someone? Maybe not. With the Internet, it is very easy to the seedy things that were underground before.

Answer 10

OOOOOOO baby your man is either trolling or looking. Either isn't cheating. But if he meets up with someone its cheating. If he's just trolling, then he's just one of those creepy married guys. I'm not sure which is worse? Knowing that your man is creepy or that your man is a creep.