he doesnt think i should be angry about this- hes not prescribed these medications and takes way more than he should. he says i think too much and its no big deal, but its ruining our relationship and costing alot of money. we have a 14 month old daughter and i'm ready to leave because of this...am i overeacting?
2007-07-25 09:03:35 · 29 answers · asked by kristen b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i have nobody im in the middle of nowhere....ive told him and showed him websites about his problem ive asked him to get help.hes tried quitting before.
2007-07-25 09:10:54 · update #1
I wouldn't leave him because if you did look at it analytically.
1) You'll be worse off financially if you leave him.
2) Your daughter has formed a relationship with your husband because well he's her DAD. There will be custody battles and a slew of bad crap that happens if you leave.
3) Painkillers use opium, that's the same stuff the brits used to bring the Chineese to their knees in addiction. It causes powerful withdrawl symptoms and depending on the dose he's using and for how long stopping cold turkey could kill him.
Now lets look at it emotionally
1) You loved this man right? I'm assuming so since you married him and had a kid with him. Addiction is a powerful thing to have to overcome and the first thing he's going to have to do is admit its a problem. Tell him its really effecting your family and give him an ultimatum. You can also contact people who specialize in this called an intervention, get in touch with your local rehab center to get more info on this.
2) People who abuse painkillers usually do it because their depressed. The pills given them a feeling of euphoria and a happy high. If you leave him chances are he'll fall further into depression and either OD on them or kill himself. That wouldn't be cool would it?
3) Don't think I don't feel for you in this situation, because I do understand its prob racking your mind to see your husband like this. But remember the battle's not over. Contact your rehab center and get something to intervene. You'll be amazed by the results and you'll be thanking yourself down the road when you grow old together and you're able to look at him and know you helped him live a better life with you. You daughter will thank you too.
Good Luck ;)
2007-07-25 09:15:20 · answer #1 · answered by Advice4U 3 · 2⤊ 4⤋
You are not over reacting. The money that he's spending is hard enough to handle. As far as the amount he's eating, I have no doubt he will go through withdrawals on a regular basis which will cause hate and discontent in your home. He will miss out on family, work and everyday life because of it. I will tell you that until he sees for himself the damage he's causing around him (physical, mental and monetary) he will not stop the drugs. He will be the only one that can clean himself up. I think you should get ahold of AL-anon or some type of place that can help you deal with someone elses addiction because nagging won't help. I hope he wakes up before he hits rock bottom and hitting rock bottom is losing you. Good luck, I'll pray for you!
2007-07-25 09:16:31 · answer #2 · answered by jacquie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not over reacting at all, especially when you have a 14 month old at home. These medications i know cost a lot of money, money you need for your daughter cause it cost a lot to raise children now a days. i would tell him he needs to get help now or you will be forced to move on. Plus it could hurt him not only financially, but physically also, then your daughter will not have a dad no matter which way you go.
2007-07-25 09:12:43 · answer #3 · answered by bonnielynn73 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband, in typical addict fashion, denies hes an addict. If he doesn't see that he has a problem and that this problem is starting to have serious consequences in his life he will not stop.
This is just my opinion, but I think you should pack up your daughter and leave. Tell him you are separating from him so he can get his act together by going to rehab. Once he starts to see his life is changing negatively due to his addiction he will slowly start to realize he has a problem. By staying in the environment with him you are really saying that he can keep doing this and you won't do anything about it except complain. He needs to you to leave so he can wake up and see the consequences of his bad choices.
Its tough and I'm really sorry this is happening to you. You may want to get yourself to Al Anon so you can learn more about his problem and the behaviour surrounding it. They will give you coping strategies as well as support.
Good luck.
2007-07-25 09:20:58 · answer #4 · answered by Morley 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heavens no! Tell him to choose you and the baby or the drugs! It's only going to get worse and could cause you legal trouble too! Don't be surprised if he chooses the drugs though. He can't help it because of the addiction, so don't take it personal. I know it's hard, but this is something you have to deal with NOW! Best wishes for it working out for the best!!
2007-07-25 09:09:47 · answer #5 · answered by wish I were 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Take your 14 month old daughter and yourself quickly out of the situation before someone takes your daughter from you. Honey...your husband needs PROFESSIONAL help and the two of you won't be able to handle this on your own.
If Child Protective Services find out...they may feel the child is in danger and your child could be placed in the Foster Care System.
Don't take that chance. Take yourself & your baby out of this situation until he has gone thru drug rehab etc.
Call your parents, call his parents, take to a close friend to stay with....but do find a way to GET OUT ASAP.
Good luck.
2007-07-25 09:25:42 · answer #6 · answered by Patti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are NOT overreacting. Prescription drug addiction, especially painkillers, can be very dangerous and very addictive. I recentl had a familt friend locked up for buying Lortabs with fake scrips.
I might try some family intervention first, if you haven't already, before I left maybe. But it definately needs to be addressed, and quickly.
weeder
2007-07-25 09:09:04 · answer #7 · answered by weeder 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell no your not...My wife just got fed up too..I spent about7-8000 dollars on them this year alone and it is a hard habit to break I was also drinking on them and they didn't make me a nice person either..It took me a DUI to figure out what the hell I was doing to my wife,my 22 month old son and myself to finally quit... My wife threatened to divorce me but when I was high I was defensive and I didn't care...He really needs some intervention try to get him some treatment try to figure out how much he is spending and give him proof..Now that I have bin clean for 3 months from it all I can see all the damage I did. I really feel for you.. good luck....
2007-07-25 09:14:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so! He is abusing a drug. It is harmful to his health and his ability to care for you child! If he is doing this all the time he could drive a car with your child in it while he's under the influence! Someone who doesn't think its a big deal wouldn't think that was a big deal either. Try to get him to get help, but do what is best for you and your daughter.
2007-07-25 09:08:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mother was also and she usd to beat me amost every day with a dog leash un til i didnt have a trust of women at all. she was abused so she pased it to me her way of copeing was pain killers and weed, mostly pills. when i was 12 i drove to the hosp. 18mi away. i finally had her commited a few years ago and she is better. that is because i was lucky enugh to come over when she was ODing and do cpr and call an ambulance. i didnt have my first real relationship until i got married two years ago. and i am in my 30s. so yes i would do something about it.
2007-07-25 09:15:27 · answer #10 · answered by Chris 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋