It seems that our life is started to evolve around my daughter's friend. She is the queen bee of her group. It seems that every time she calls my daughter she expects us to drop everything so my daughter can go shopping, or over to her house. I try and put my foot down and and say no, we already have plans, but they make me feel like I'm such a mean mom. How can I handle this so I don't look so bad?
2007-07-25 07:44:09 · 17 answers · asked by angelica 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I understand that this is hard for you, but you need to put your foot down, set some guidelines and be firm with your daughter, if you have other plans, and she wants to go with her friend somewhere, do not be afraid of looking bad, or being the mean mom, your daughter needs to learn about compromise now because in the real world things do not work that way, part of being a parent is teaching our children appropriate social skills, and behaviors, you must not let other kids have that much power over your daughter, what if this other girl decides that trying out some drugs would be cool, your daughter will go along with it because she hasn't been taught that saying no is okay, because you are teaching her how not to say no by not saying no. Sorry I got a bit confusing there. I hope everything works out for you and your daughter.
2007-07-25 07:55:57 · answer #1 · answered by Carpathian Mage 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are not a mean mom if you say no. Your job as a parent is to protect your daughter. Your daughter may act upset if you tell her no, but she is probably secretly relieved that she has you there as an outlet for when she doesn't feel like being with this girl. I wouldn't for bid the friendship, but I would definately let your daughter know that family time comes first. Believe me she will ultimately thank you for your intervention. Good Luck.
2007-07-25 14:51:51 · answer #2 · answered by american girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're the adult.
Just tell your daughter that she's simply spending too much time with her friend.
And confront your daughter's friend's parents.
Just say that you are proud to see that you're kids have grown so close, but you are getting a little annoyed by the fact that you don't get to spend time with your daughter anymore.
And next time that girl phones, tell her that your daughter has other plans with you, and that you guys are going to spend the day together for a change.
And no, you aren't a mean mom.
You just have to discipline, that's all.
It's for your daughter's own good.
And tell your daughter that you want to spend more time with her, because you feel lonely when she's out with friends.
2007-07-25 14:53:54 · answer #3 · answered by kiimbrrly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it's any constellation many moms of teens are in the same position! when i was in middle school and early high school my life revolved around my friends and my mom was "like the worst mom ever" if she tried to interfere lol. try to get your daughter to understand how important it is to you that you spend time together as a family, and just you and her, and that she can't be with her friend all the time. whatever you do don't her give the old "because i said so" trust me it won't get you anywhere. it's a temporary fix and when she's old enough to drive herself and make her own plas she'll be MIA. so give her some real reasons why it's not good for her to spend all of her time with one friend. good luck!!
2007-07-25 15:13:42 · answer #4 · answered by Amy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding?! This is just a kid! You're an adult. Don't bow down to her every whim, especially since she's not even her daughter. Maybe her mother should be more in control, but dont just give into it. Put your foot down, and who cares if you look bad to this girl? She'll grow up eventually.
2007-07-25 14:52:13 · answer #5 · answered by little_one23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stick to yr guns yr the mom not the friend or yr daughter if u have plans tell her no!!! And if they cant respect u ground her no kid is to old for grounding!! yr not a mean mom and stop being afraid and yr the queen of ye home and what u say goes
2007-07-25 14:49:34 · answer #6 · answered by abarnwe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really care how you look to this friend of your daughters? Say no and mean it. Or you will be your daughters driver for years every time her friends want to do something.
2007-07-25 15:59:54 · answer #7 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask your daughter to talk to her friend. Just tell her to say,"Hey, listen, you're like my best friend, but whenever we hang out, can we have a few days notice in advance? It would really help my parents out." If the friend doesn't do this, just ask if her parents can give your daughter a ride.
Hope this helps!
2007-07-25 15:03:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your foot down. They are the kids and you are the adult. If you don't put your foot down this will never end. If you want to ease the situation if you are doing something that the girl can join you then ask her along and see how that works.
2007-07-25 14:51:19 · answer #9 · answered by buzymom72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to be the bad guy in this situation. I had a boy who would do this as well, after a dozen times of telling him now wasn't a good time, he finally got the hint and now calls to see if he can.
I don't let him or what my son might think bother me, it's my home, my sons' home and he doesn't rule our lives.
2007-07-25 14:50:59 · answer #10 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋