my husbands ex wont leave him alone !!?

Question

His ex and him were together for 3 years and 2 weeks before our wedding back in feb she showed up at his grandmas with their little boy which my husband isnt sure is his because she refuses to get a DNA test done how can we find out the boy is his when she refuses plus she is a unfit mother and a psycho that day she showed up and she tried every desperate attempt to get him back she cried and she used that poor baby hoping that the little boy could win him back and then when we were leaving she came to his side of the truck and begin to tell him she loved him and then handed him a wad of papers.well we left and when we got home i looked at the papers and all it was is her writing down all her precious little memories and saying i wasnt what he needed and all kind of stuff.Then a month ago she showed up at his work claiming to be his wife.I want to know two things
1How do we find out if the boys his when she refuses to do a DNA test and 2How do i i get her to quit stalking my husband?

Well for one she wont ever let him see the child and its tearing him up not being able to see the boy that he helped raised till a year and a half ago and she has not even asked for child support so with her refusing DNA testing and not asking for child support is that enough proof its not his?? And the woman is a real b**** when they were together one night she sowed him in the sheets and beat the hell out of him with a iron skillet my husbands the sweet and gentle type and she took advantage of that and would abuse him in anyway possilble mentally and physically and im trying to help him through it.

Answer 1

Get a lawyer.

Answer 2

Well darlin is he paying child suppoprt for this child? If so he can get the state to order a DNA test. If not then I will figure someone else is. I would go to the local police station tell them what she is doing, and have a report filed. EVERYTIME she does anything file a report. I would also ask at what point you can file stalking charges. And then go from there. You dont need a lawyer yet. But the police will let her know to back off and probably have both of you get a restraining order against her. I wish you all the best sweetie

Answer 3

i don't think you have to be so hard on her.Add a little compassion and things will be better.It doesn't appear that she's absolutely wrong and that your husband and even you are picture perfect. Don't exaggerate, don't over react, just keep away in a smooth manner.and live your own lives. Please don't pounce just beacuse there is an opportunity.

She lived with your husband for more than you did, you can't wipe away all her feelings in one go in the name of the law. It is for your husband who should get things in order, not you.And please don't take an enemy attitude towards her, It should be your husbands problem not yours. And life states can't be justified with rules.Give the heart the dominant place.

If the kid is your husband's aren't you & your husband the clear villians.Even if he isn't, this is not the way you should think and behave.This is not the way to see things.
Please don't hurt her just because there is opportunity.Be compassionate enough to let her live,she's already unstable.You are being self centric.
Just imagine your place to be her's and maybe you can understand what i'm saying to an extent.
Why you, should be so concerned if the kid is your husband's or not.
And what if your husband is not sure of your kid after 3 years.
Don't conclude in a desperate mode.

You say she's a psycho, a *****, and whatever that should not be said about a woman.And your husband is so sweet.and he's not sure of his kid.
Now leave it at that live & let live and don't add fuel to the bitterness.

And your husband loves his son so much that he's torn apart because she doesn't let him see the child and your husbnad is unsure whether its his child or not, The description you give about your husband only makes me feel he's not man enough.Can you see the nonsense you are speaking, So inconsistent are your words and clear is your attitude.

Please dont be partial, harshness & hate cannot be right.
If he likes the kid so much why should you be so worried about who's kid he is, is it about the money thing ?
you can stop thinking in that direction for the sake of the kid if not for his mom towards whom i can only see hate on your part.What you are trying to achieve is not worth it.
I'm not attacking you, i'm simply trying to see the fact as it is. I love my mom so much and love you too as much, i wish you too love the kid and have a little compassion towards his unstable mom. Please don't call her a bad mom without having total clarity.
Your interpretation is weak in taste.

I'm sorry if you felt that i was rude, my intention is to reduce the bitterness that might amplify which does no good to anybody in your story.I wish you could do better, My apologies if you feel my answer is bad in taste, to me its only a little cocerrn for the scapegoat,.this is the way i feel. i can't make my words flow against my feeling and be politically correct. I will take your views whatever they might be in total humility and will not make any attempt to deny your criticism or whatever..
Hope everything will be for the better.

Answer 4

By your story, she has seen him twice in the last 6 months, once in February, and once last month. This is not "stalking"! Get some perspective -- you're making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be.

As for the paternity, stop worrying about it. If he doesn't have to pay anything, it doesn't really matter if it's his or not, so all he has to do is refuse to see the baby. If she goes to court to get child support, he will be notified. At that time, he can appear in court, express his doubts about paternity, and request a test be performed. I know it's difficult not knowing for sure, but there's no use worrying about something you can't do anything about yet.

Answer 5

Get a lawyer. The courts will INSIST on a DNA test for you guys. Secondly, You cannot do anything about her stalking him besides getting a restraining order in place. Other than that there is nothing you can do about it. Hopefully that child is not his. Good luck to you all.

Answer 6

I'm not sure but I think he can demand a test especially if he's paying child support. He has the right to know if he's supporting his child. As far as getting her to stop stalking, it's all up to your husband to stop it, unless she's stalking you, too. You can get a restraining order to keep her away from you and in the process while you are with him, she shouldn't be able to come near you. But you need to talk to him nicely but sternly, and let him know how it bothers you. While she's around, don't show any fear, cause that's what she's trying to do. She wants you to get mad and start raising cain with your husband but don't do it. Don't give her what she wants. If he loves you, he'll deal with her to make you happy!!

Answer 7

I would go to an attorney and tell him you want to take her to court for DNA testing, the judge will make sure it happens, but be prepared to pay child support if he turns out to be the dad. 2) You can't but he can get a restraining order against her. Good Luck.

Answer 8

I assume you have visiting rights. Get a sample of the boy's DNA on your own and do a test.

A restraining order will work for getting the ex out of the picture.

Answer 9

First things first. He will have to take her to court for the DNA test if she refuses. That's where you are going to have to start before the rest of the problems get resolved.

Answer 10

YOUR HUSBAND needs to make her go away. He needs to let her know point blank, he doesn't want her, and is happy with YOU. You both need to get restraining orders on her.
You can get a DNA test without her permission. Visit the state health department, and tell them your situation, and ask them how you can make it happen.

Answer 11

Get a attorney for DNA tests sound like your husband should be doing this not you.