It is always better to have smart friends because dumb friends usually lead you onto the wrong directions in life. Would you rather have a dumb person give you advice, or a smart person? Also, grades are very important to me. If I had to study for an exam and I had left my notes in school, I could go over to Flora’s house and study with her. Without her help, I would probably fail! If I was having trouble with the work in a class, Flora would be there to help me because she is smart. I know that Flora is smart because Jess is jealous of how Flora is overachieving (p. 5).
It is a paragraph from a book report, and the girl Flora, is one of the characters in the book...but any mistakes?
2007-07-25 07:19:00 · 7 answers · asked by hollicrombie 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
It is advantageous to have intelligent friends since simple-minded friends usually mislead you. The question is: would you seek the counsel of a dull person or one who is brilliant? Grades are also very important. If I, hypothetically, had to study for an exam and I forgot my notes in school, I could conveniently visit Flora’s house and cram with her. Without her help, I would probably fail! If I was having trouble with the work in class, Flora could help me because she is so scholarly. I know this because Jess is jealous of how Flora is overachieving (p. 5).
2007-07-25 07:31:27 · answer #1 · answered by sayamiam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I might use a word a little less harsh than "dumb". Maybe just say "It is always best to have smart friends because they will can give you good advice and help lead you in a good direction in life.
Also I might change the sentence "Without her help, I would probably fail!" to something like "Working together, we could both get better grades on the test." I just say that because saying that you would you don't want to call yourself stupid in a paper for school (and I'm sure you're not).
In "...Flora would be there to help me because she is smart" you can leave out the "because she is smart" bit because it's a little repetitive.
And also I might change "how Flora is overachieving" to "how well Flora does in school" because overachieving is different than being smart.
Those are just suggestions though, of course it's just my style. Sounds good though. :)
2007-07-25 14:57:25 · answer #2 · answered by Judy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One is not led "onto" a direction, rather led "in the wrong direction."
No comma "... give you advice or a smart person?"
"Also" is a conjunction. I would change to "In addition"
"I would study with Flora" Going to her house is not necessary.
I question the statement "Flora would be there to help me because she is smart." Would she help you just because she is smart or because she is your friend?
Jess' jealousy is not proof of Flora's intelligence, although Flora's "overachieving" might be.
2007-07-25 14:47:53 · answer #3 · answered by Chewie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't say that Flora is smart until the end. I would mention that earlier: "It is always better to have smart friends LIKE FLORA because" [caps to show addition]. I also think it's "If I WERE having trouble" [caps to show change]. Overall, the paragraph seems unfocused to me (going from life direction to grades), but I don't see any other outright mistakes.
2007-07-25 14:37:16 · answer #4 · answered by Winnie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont say anything about dumb friends, just try is it better to have smarter friends to lead you in right direction? Talking about dumb people just isnt right, it seems prejedust.
2007-07-25 14:31:41 · answer #5 · answered by logonics_girl♥♥♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The "also, grades are..." sentence seems a little out of place. I think you need a sentence before it. Otherwise it's good.
2007-07-25 14:26:41 · answer #6 · answered by JT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i think it is very nice...hope u do get a good grade...
2007-07-25 14:23:49 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs.Sheckler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋