I would not do this normally, but my husband is doing things behind my back and lies to my face like its nothing. This has gone on my entire marriage and frankly I've had enough. The problem is, I have no proof and I need it. I cannot afford a P.I. and I really need some advice. Please don't bash me for it, I am down to this as there is no other solution in my case. If I were to elaborate I don't think anyone here would really blame me.
2007-07-25 06:51:23 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I didn't even realize I didn't enter my question. I was asking for advice on how to track him. And I fully agree with the fact that if I need to do this, it should be enough to know I should leave. I have already thought about that. The need to know comes from the fact that he's a new business owner, and so I feel I should have my facts straight before I accuse him of some innocent business transactions. I probably shouldn't have even posted the question given the fact that I can't add the details that follow it because its just too much. Thanks everyone that gave helpful answers.
2007-07-26 06:07:56 · update #1
Why dont you follow him youreslf if you can't afford a PI? And there is nothing wrong with wanting to catch him in the act. HE is in the wrong, not you.
2007-07-25 06:55:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been down this road, and I too thought I needed proof. I did eventually get it, but I almost drove myself crazy getting the truth out. The one thing I have learned from all the hell is that if I felt strongly enough that I needed proof, the reality is that I didnt at all. I already knew. My instincts were all the proof that I needed. Men get lazy the longer they cheat as well, they get sloppy. I promise eventually, if you can't leave without proof, your proof will be in the form of a phone call, or a visit from a conerned neighbor etc. My husband enjoyed the hell out of torturing me, he would always say you have nothing. When I did it was a different story. It didnt change an thing though. I was pregnant at the time, scared took him back. He did it again. I didnt need proof the second time, I knew already because I recognized the patterns/signs. Trust your self, listen to what your instincts are telling you. You don't really need proof. Right now, you are living in pain. You have a right to be happy and live in a peaceful environment. Give your self permission to do that. You don't need proof that he has cheated. The fact that he doesnt respect you enough to be honest to you, and you are unhappy is all that you need. Trust your self. He has already proven to be untrustworthy.
This is a painful journey, I have been on it as well. You will survive, its not the end of the world, and good things come out of the pain. Its not fun where you are at right now. But the flip side is that you lose a lying, unfaithful man but you gain peace and happiness.
Good luck
2007-07-25 14:35:45 · answer #2 · answered by Christine M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you didn't really ask a question...I am going to assume that you were hoping for some tips on acquiring proof without hiring a P.I.. First, you can borrow a friend or family members car and follow him when you think he is going to meet her. Take a camera along and get some photos, or take a video camera and get some footage. Or you can ask a friend to follow him and get the proof for you. Call your cell phone service provider and request a detailed bill of all calls incoming and outgoing, as well as any text information they might have. Install spyware on your home computer. I would not recommend installing the spyware if he is very computer savvy. If he catches you having downloaded spyware, you will have to explain yourself to him. Best of luck in getting the proof you need to leave this jerk!
2007-07-25 14:30:06 · answer #3 · answered by Sophie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a friend follow him with a digital camera. Borrow someones car or trade cars & follow him. When you have the proof, a little super glue while he's sleeping, dripped along the side of the genitals will make for a very uncomfortable wake up call for his next morning, plus he will be highly embarrased going to the ER to get unstuck. Girl, if he is screwing around this could be detremental to your health. This is serious business.
2007-07-25 13:59:05 · answer #4 · answered by SALSA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you need proof?
You even said "you know" that he has always done this in your marriage.
So what more proof do you need?
If it's for taking him to court, alot of times it won't stand up in court anyway.
But if you "feel" you need to do that, follow him on your own with a girlfriend of yours. Use someone else's car so he won't recognize it.
But have a friend with you 1). as a witness and 2). to help you keep track of him as you are driving.
Or what about hiding a small tape recorder in his car? Or if possible setting up a video camera on your own.
Hope this helps you.
Good luck.
I know how you feel, I was once in your shoes. I did the following on my own ;)
2007-07-25 14:01:02 · answer #5 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you wanting the proof just for yourself? You can get a divorce without proof the spouse is cheating. Be your own P.I. Borrow someone's car that he won't recognize and follow him when you are sure he is with another woman.
2007-07-25 13:57:18 · answer #6 · answered by Twinkle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some spyware on your computer.
You can track a lot of the things he does.
Outside of the internet, though....
you can pay someone you know a LOT less to track him, video him, etc....than a P.I.
Some friends will do it for free just cuz they know you deserve better!
But I will add, that if you have to do all of this, you should finally reach a point where you say...I don't give a rat's behiney...I'm outta this!
2007-07-25 13:56:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If for some time your instinct has been telling you that he is cheating, why would you want to go and get proof. If you confidently feel you are right .... confront him. If he tries to be evasive and gives excuses.... dont waste your time or sanity over it...... leave him.
Through my personal experience, most men would never admit to their wives about their adultery. They could lie through their nose ... want the cake and eat it and having the best of both worlds.
2007-07-25 15:43:17 · answer #8 · answered by Sal SR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call cheaters they will find out stuff for u i don't know if they will charge u anything but its worth a try! I'm sorry if your husband is cheating on u it sounds like he is. If he is hon you can find someone so much better than him who will not lie or cheat on you not all men are pigs!!
2007-07-25 14:04:06 · answer #9 · answered by little lou lou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She SAID she needed advice...
Can you be the detective? Do you have credit card bills? Maybe there are hotel rooms on it, or restaurants you never go to? What about his cell phone bill? Who is he calling?
These may not be legal evidence, but you could confront him...
2007-07-25 13:56:26 · answer #10 · answered by aspicco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋