Controlling?

Question

What does it mean if someone says you are a controlling person.

Answer 1

You make them do what you want to do most of the time, and you are always controlling what they do and how they act. Not letting them make their own decisions and do their own thing.

Answer 2

It means instead of letting things happen if you're in a relationship. You do what you can to make things happen in your favor. You may approach it in different ways.

Passive Aggressive- where you don't come right out and say that you don't want to do something but your additude and behavior makes for an uncomfortable time with your partner, such as a wedding, a company event. You behave like a jealous ****** when your partner talks to someone that isn't you or talks with someone you feel is consipiring against you (doesn't like you). You keep being an ****** until you get your way.

Or you can be a jerk to everyone and make your partner and their friends, family or co-workers uncomfortable with your behavior thus humiliating your significant other forcing them to leave and perhaps breaking up a sincere friendship or bond.

You prefer not to do things your partner likes but guilt them into participating in activities you enjoy or approve of.

You have them check in with you when they're out-- even when it's family.

You talk them out of participating or doing something that they really want to do either by saying you'll have to rethink your relationship with them or just by behaving like ****** until you get your way.

You somehow think that you have the right to approve or dissaprove potential friends.

You make your partner feel bad about themselves whenever you feel threatened. Either putting down the way they look when they were really excited about something they're wearing, a potential job interview, a night out with some friends, perhaps pursuing a new hobby.

"If they really wanted to do something they wouldn't let themselves be talked out of it," is perhaps the favorite motto of a control freak. "It's not really for them," or "You never see things through anyway," and are the least supportive as they can be. Or they can pretend to be supportive but do very little to be supportive and will drop little bombs of self-doubt at every turn.

A control freak is a master manipulator that I think dips into the personality of a sociopath or at the very least a self-absorbed and unreasonable ******. They mask their insecurities by bullying whomever they can submit to their will.

Control freaks come in all shapes in sizes. They use all sorts of weapons. Depending on the situation. A parent could use an illness to control their grown-childrens' behavior, a sister could guilt a sibling because a parent loved one more than the other as a means to control their sibling's behavior. Boyfriends will use love or security. Girlfriends could use sex or jealousy or comfort. Anything is fair game for a control freak.

A controlling person may just fear letting nature take it's course and creates situations where they imagine the outcome to be favorable to them regardless of how it may affect those around them. At a job, the controlling person will put down co-workers behind their back to try and sabotage working relationships. They may set "high" standards for their subordinates and create so many rules that it would be difficult not to break one.

A person in danger of being a controlling person should seek help either with or without their partner to sort out their issues so that they may truly have a sincere and loving relationship and/or friendships.

Answer 3

It means that they feel like they are giving up too much to please you. If you are being accused of being controlling then try backing off. When my boyfriend told me that I was, I took a step back and let him do his own thing. Guess what? He discovered that I wasn't controlling he was just stressed about all the other demands. It was easier for him to put the blame on me then to stand up and say no to the other people. Try taking a break from whomever is pointing the finger at you so they can face whatever else is causing them stress.

Answer 4

It just means you have a need to be in control! If it's a spouse, they could be saying they feel you're smothering them. If it's a kid, it usually means you're not letting them do something they want to do.
Lots of people have control issues. Some are worse than others. It just means you have to know everything about another person, be involved in their life completely, they can't do anything w/out your knowing about it, b/c it makes you jealous and suspicious, etc.

Answer 5

It means you have serious self esteem issues. Usually people who control others have no self control themselves. Get a handle on your life and learn that you can only control yourself. You can only react to the actions of others. Look within yourself and ask why you feel the need to control others. Learn to let it go one issue at a time. Figure out what you get out of being controlling. Find other ways to boost your self esteem. Good luck :)

Answer 6

It means you aren't content to 'let' things happen around you. You want to direct events or behavior. Everyone wants to do that to some extent but it can make another person feel like they are being 'controlled' and then it is a negative thing.

Answer 7

It means you're telling them what to do. You are always in control of the situation. Example: You're going to a movie with whoever (wife, gf, friend) and you have to pick what movie, where to sit, etc. You don't let others have a say in whats going on.

Answer 8

It means that you like to be in control of things. Not necessarily always a bad or good thing. All people like to be in control of things to an extent as longer as you are not overbearing about it.

Answer 9

maybe that you're insecure about changes and outcome so you have to control the variables so the result is what you expected. controlling has different levels...control the situation, control the outcome, control the person's action and control the person's thoughts...where and which one are you? ^_^

Answer 10

It mean that you have need to be in control of your sitution maybe deep down inside you dont trust that person cause if you did you wouldnt be on the every move.