I didn't mean for it to happen. Let me explain. I have been dating my first much younger man for about 7months and he won't consider marriage now or anytime in the near or far fututre, or at least that's what he says. To make a long story short I went ahead to a dating site and met someone who's around my age. I have been with him for almost 2 months. None of them knows about the other, but my much younger man had initiatially been told but he wouldn't hear of it so I kept quiet. My online friend contacts me every day by phone and we chat often. I thought I would be waiting for this situation to solve intself, but it gets harder each day. I feel like a hypocrite and that I do not deserve the love of any of them, but I am not the one to start that I-am-not-considering-marriage-and-you-know-it-line from my younger man. I am falling in love with my more positive, older online man and we started getting intimate too on top of that . Now I am almost intimate with both. I am 53 years old
2007-07-25 06:15:51 · 7 answers · asked by firefaerie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're cheating (not kewl) and you think you're falling for someone online you've never met and no only a little about (naieve).
If marriage is so important to you, and the guy you're dating isn't for it...then move on. That's an easy one...if you and your partner have different goals and values then a relationship probably isn't a good idea.
As for online guy, until you meet him face to face and spend a considerable amount of time together, he's nothing but a fantasy. Wake up and realize that most of you think you know about him, came from your own head/ideas...he may be nothing like what you think.
2007-07-25 06:21:37 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot get intimate with someone online or over the phone. You are not a child, and you definetly know the difference between fantasy and reality, you were around well before computers were.
What could you offer to a "much younger man". If he is telling you that he doesn't want marriage yet, that's because he hasn't found the right woman. He's telling you in "man speak" that you are NOT that woman. And if you haven't been intimate with him as of yet, then nothing much is going to happen with this relationship.
Start acting your age. You didn't get to 53, hopefully, by being as niave as you sound in this letter. Drop the younger man and let him get on with his life. Make a date with the older, meet in person in a public place. DO NOT GO ANYWHERE PRIVATELY. Be sure to tell a friend what you are doing and exactly where you are going, and set up a "safe call". That means you call her a couple of times to tell her you are ok. Create a signal, a certain word or phrase, and use it if you are in trouble. When you do meet him, IN PUBLIC, ask for several forms of picture ID. He should do the same.
If you hit it off, and everything is Kosher, then next time have your friends meet him. Then meet his family and friends. A man your age will have friends and family, if he doesn't, that should set off your alarms.
If you don't want to end your life raped and murdered, you'll protect yourself and wake up from the magical thinking you are wallowing in. Don't trust anyone you contact on the internet, until they prove themselves to be who and what they say they are.
You do not "know" this man and you do not have a "relationship" and you are not "falling in love" and especially you are not "intimate". People prey on women just like you, don't be a statistic.
2007-07-25 13:34:03 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You qualify as a mess.
"my younger man"
"my positive older online man"
I am not the one to start that "I-am-not-considering-marriage from my younger man"
*** Seek one to one intensive counseling for your insecure behaviors. A 53 yr old should not be making the incredibly silly choices and statements you have made. You need more than any man can give you and thats emotional stability.
2007-07-25 13:22:04 · answer #3 · answered by Noone i 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
are you in the relationship to find marriage?? or to find someone to love you and then get married, there is a difference......and online men lie to woman to get what they want and thats money? have you meet this guy online yet? most likely this online dude will forget all about you if you were to leave him alone. and the only way you can tell of the online love is to go under a new name and meet him all over again......and ask if he has a g/f? and if he says no and talks like you dont even exist then you know what to do and thats not him
2007-07-25 13:22:04 · answer #4 · answered by $martA$$.com 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The younger guy told you he has no intention of marrying you, so just make a clean break from him and tell him why. Then keep talking to the guy who respects you enough to call everyday and talk to you. See where that one goes.
2007-07-25 13:20:53 · answer #5 · answered by StormyC 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am 52 and I want to say forget the younger man...................he only wants one thing.Get rid of your ego and go for the man that offers more than sex
2007-07-25 13:20:55 · answer #6 · answered by maggie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would not want to be in your shoes lady.......
2007-07-25 13:19:29 · answer #7 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋