take his a s s to the cleaners or be fair and peaceful? He had affair, I gave him a chance, and things have gotten back to me since the chance I gave him, I have found him on sex seeking websites, in short, he totally blew his chance. A part of me wants to be fair and nice, for the sake of the kids, but the other part of me says make him pay for what he did. I have an angel on one shoulder, and a devil on the other...lol....what would you do if this situation was yours?
2007-07-25 06:11:18 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Once a cheater always a cheater. Sounds like a jerk...You will never trust him again anyways, and that right their will always cause a fight. I say dump his a*s but be fair to the kids and don't talk trash about each other in front of them..It will only come back to haunt you in the future.
2007-07-25 06:20:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There will be no "taking him to the cleaners" - divorce and child support settlements don't work that way anymore and haven't for 30 years..... The idea that you get the house, kids, car and alimony while he gets all the bills is long gone Generally if you have say 2 kids you will get 25% of his take home pay as child support plus ~50% of joint assets. I suspect you are not without blame for this situation either. You will get a much better adjusted kids if you are decent during this trying time.
2007-07-25 13:33:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a very vengeful person and my first impulse would be to say "make him pay for what he did, whatever you do to him will fall short from what he actually deserves"..... but if there are kids, I would hold back a little. People usually pay for what they do sooner or later, whether you put your hand in it or not........ You never know, you might have the chance to get back at him in the future in an unexpected way and if such is the case I'd go for it, but pleeeease, whatever you do, don't ever use your kids to hurt him, because ultimately they will be even more hurt and the whole thing is not their fault.
2007-07-25 13:21:11 · answer #3 · answered by Lprod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you will be better off in the long run if you and the kids just get away from him. If you "take him to the cleaners" you will also be washed. The lawers involved in the divorce will take everything. Sometimes the best thing to do is to just walk away. Not only that, but do you really want your kids to see you behave that way. You have a really crappy teaching moment here, use it and at least dont make your kids lifes any worse.
2007-07-25 13:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by Qyllix 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh man... here's the thing... I would SOOO be angry and hurt and feel betrayed that I would certainly take his as s to the cleaners... If the kids are young, they wont understand, thought they too will be effected by this.
The point is, when was he concerned about the kids? When he was sleeping around, seeking sex on the web, creating a potential STD risk to you... one which could've taken you from your kids? He was selfish, he hurt you, broke your family, and from my anger I would SOOO want him to pay for that. HIT him where it hurts and make him pay for his selfishness.
On the other hand, for the sake of my children, I would be cautious and try to see how this could play out in the future. I wouldnt pervent him from seeing the kids, but all assetts would be MINE. That will also benefit the kids.
Its tough honey.. good luck and good for you leaving him. So many women blame themselves and stay with men who cheat, and hurt them...
2007-07-25 13:19:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the children's sake I would be as fair as I could.You will always be involved through your children and it's best if the divorce can be amicable and the parents can be civil toward one another
I know it's very hard to not take his a** to the cleaners but you'll all be happier if you don't.Revenge is not always what it's cracked up to be.You only end up hurting yourself even more and he WILL get his one day cause what goes around,comes around.
Make a new life for yourself and your children and be happy.
good luck.
2007-07-25 13:20:56 · answer #6 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to do the right thing. Of course I would want to hurt him and take everything he has but I don't think I could live with myself if I did that. I would have to think about the children and how it would affect them. As well as how it would affect me spiritually. It might feel good for a moment to make his life misreable but in the end I would feel bad and be misreable myself. So doing what's "right" would be the best option for me. Anyway, what goes around comes around and eventually he'll get his!
2007-07-25 13:37:35 · answer #7 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no need to take him to the cleaners but I wouldn't let him get off scot free either. He should split the marital estate 50/50 and pay a percentage of support for the children.
2007-07-25 13:28:45 · answer #8 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut the ties as peacefully as possible, the easier the split goes, the better off the kids will be.
Sure, revenge sounds great, but you've already suffered through the worst of it. Be civil so the children don't have to suffer too.
2007-07-25 13:17:18 · answer #9 · answered by Armless Joe, Bipedal Foe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The law as a rule doesn't punish someone for being a rotten husband anymore so I think your devil can only do so much. Here is the thing, you have to have a relationship with him with your children so be civil.
2007-07-25 13:36:04 · answer #10 · answered by donny_mollysmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋