i am totally depressed. is there a book or website for newly married couples? barely married and soooo many problems. i really don't like the stepdaughter (18). the stepson (16) doesn't come around. my new husband said one positive thing that seems to help.... "thank God she moved out before you moved in!!!!"
She calls him and screams and cries about everything.... did this before we were married. She doens't calm down until he gives her money.
i am really upset and i don't want anyone to know what hell i'm in.
2007-07-25 05:59:03 · 6 answers · asked by (!)listen 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all relax, you don't have to suffer alone! This is nothing new, with so many blended, mixed and unconventional families there are lots of women who are frustrated with their husbands children and his relationship with them.
But the trick is to nurture and cherish and take care of your relationship with him. The children have a relationship that was formed and shaped before you came along and it his to handle. He will appreciate you not asking him to change or criticizing your step children. When this young lady calls and has a hissy fit, simply excuse yourself from the room and let him handle it and her. If he asks your advice you can tell him "Jim, I do not want to be around Ruth when she acts like that." and let him deal with the tantrums. If the money is an issue then have a family meeting, look at your budget and set a reasonable amount he can help her with you can live with.
She is out of the house, you married this man and you deserve to be happy. Don't try to control all of this previous attachments and focus on your time together. Allow him to handle his children his way as long as you are not being mistreated financially or emotionally. I know it is difficult to see someone you care about being manipulated, but don't allow this to sour your marriage.
2007-07-25 06:15:44 · answer #1 · answered by donny_mollysmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my,... yes the step daughter knows how to play the dad,... look on the bright side one is 18, old enough to get out there and get a job and all that good stuff, the other is 16 in two years he will be out of your hair too.
The money issue with dad, she's 18 she needs to wake up and pay her own way in life, this is something that need to be discussed with the husband, what do you think.....this is your money too.......
2007-07-25 13:18:07 · answer #2 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you knew this was going on before you married him, what makes you think it was going to change after you married. You should have giving this more careful thought before making a commitment. A book isn't going to help your problems. This is something that needed to be worked out before.
2007-07-25 13:03:10 · answer #3 · answered by Pinolera 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best place I go to for advice is at www.watchtower.org It has tons of good advice for family, marriage, dating, health, just about everything. Give it a try and check it out. I always find something helpful!
2007-07-25 13:03:19 · answer #4 · answered by Snow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you and your husband need to lead a life of your own. totally ignore her and go on with your marriage after all you married to your husband and not his brats. enjoy your marriage and dont let this issue drag you down. if you want to have kids do that but dont allow those brats to take over your lives such that you miss the beautiful life you and your husband have ahead of you!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-07-25 13:26:05 · answer #5 · answered by cassis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my daughters very much the when i remarried ten years later they came round well sort of xx
2007-07-25 13:31:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋