I knew he had a kid but I didnt know it was with a major "b%&*h".Maybe Iam wrong but do you think its ok for her to come around to the family reunions& partys she still calls my mother inlaw "Suegra" which means that she is still with my husband should I bring it to her attention or the family needs to get a piece of my mind ? I dont know who to be more angry with!My husband stood up for me and told his mom he thought they were all wrong including his sisters& brothers but they all said they didnt have aproblem with me they were just scared "the Devil' would not bring the kid around . What should I do?
2007-07-25 05:01:54 · 17 answers · asked by BulletGirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I completely know how you feel...I REALLY do.
Not all bio-moms are the same. The poster a few answers up who talked about her relationship with her ex's family is OBVIOUSLY out of consideration for her child....however, it's not ALWAYS that way.
My husband's ex has tried to rip us apart COUNTLESS times. She has a horrible relationship with his family...so I never have to worry about her coming to family functions or anything, but she still insists on calling my husband the pet names she called him when they were together. It's absolutely ridiculous.
You really just have to be the bigger person. Let her play her childish mind games if that's what she's doing. If she does something that makes you uncomfortable, just smile and don't let her know she's getting to you.
If her motives are not actually to do what's best for the child.....that child has a mind, when he/she is older they will know who really loves them and who isn't using them.
However, MAYBE she is just looking out for her child.
Although the family is stupid to think that she could keep the kid from it's father.
2007-07-29 03:26:18 · answer #1 · answered by jezyka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The family may be right in the DEVIL not bringing the child around if they don't include her in the plans. But your husband should have some legal rights to the child ( every other weekend, Wednesdays ) and if he doesn't then maybe he should get the courts to give him rights. It could also be that the family still likes to have her around and that is why they invite her to everything. Have you talked to your mother-in-law about her still calling her Suegra? Now you need to remember that no matter how you feel about her that your husband will have to deal with her until the child is grown and then some. Maybe you need to have a meeting with her and your husband. Talk it over and see where it stands.
Good Luck
Smokin
2007-07-25 12:41:42 · answer #2 · answered by Smokin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The family is Right!
They are putting the kid first.
And that's what you and your husband should be doing too. Instead of worrying about your feelings and how you feel, you should be worrying about how not being a part of your husbands family as much would affect his son.
Come on, you're adults. You should be able to act like adults around each other. And if you can't, then you need to ignore her and only worry about that little boy.
Don't think I don't know what you are going through. I've been there 10 years ago, and we ALL still get together for the kids sake. Did I enjoy it in the beginning, NO I HATED IT!!! Made my life a living hell, but I did it for my kids sake not for my own. So I had to struggle through it and as the years have gone by, it has gotten easier. I couldn't stand being around my ex, neither could my (now) husband because he caused my life a living hell. But the only choice I had was think of myself only and be selfish or put my kids first and do what would be best for them.
And the hell I went through, I would go through it all over again because it got my kids through just fine. ;)
2007-07-25 12:12:14 · answer #3 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband's ex wife is probably still friends with your husbands family. My mother still goes to family reunions on my Dad's side of the family. My Mother and Father were married for 25 years so his family is like her own. I am also divorced with children by my ex and still get along with his family. Just because you have came into the picture does not mean his family has to end his friendship with the ex wife. If you do not deal with your insecurity it could wind up ending your marriage
2007-07-25 12:37:31 · answer #4 · answered by Cristy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are just being immature and insecure. I am an ex-wife and I remain in good standings with my ex's family on the basis that we have a child together but I couldn't imagine his new girlfriend ever feeling threatened by me on the basis that neither my ex nor myself are interested in each other and because well, we realize that although none of us are going to be best buddies remaining on good terms with one and another is best for our daughter. I am not exactly sure what this supposed 'Devil' woman did beyond be nice to your husband's family and they don't have any obligation to you to distance themselves from one and another on account that it makes you 'uncomfortable'. I think if you tell her off, the family off, or cause any more drama over something so trivial as this, then the only 'Devil' here is you.
Good luck and take care :)
2007-07-25 12:08:59 · answer #5 · answered by serenity113001 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is really nothing that you yourself can do. This is between your husband and the mother of his child. He needs to be the one to sit down and speak with her about coming around and really she can not keep his child away from him or his family. If she tries to and he does not have joint custody or visitations through the courts, then he would need to do so. If there is a court order for visitations than she would be in violation of the order and can get in trouble for keeping the child away from him
2007-07-25 12:15:48 · answer #6 · answered by bluemysti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think about it...her ex mother in law is the kids grandparents. They might be friendly to her because if they aren't they won't get school pictures, and things that grandparents look forward too. It is so much better to have friendly relations than a real true "devil" ex wife that I am dealing with. My step kids go to her house and she pumps them with hate for me. Then she goes to sleep. While she is sleeping the kids have a party...I'm talking trying her cigarettes...you name it. Their Mom believes in the boogie man (she has a mental illness) and has instilled such fear in these kids they don't even want to sleep with the lights out. So you tell me which devil sounds worse?
2007-07-25 12:14:31 · answer #7 · answered by hard rock girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i think you need to keep quiet and let your hubby take care of this. You should have known this before and i will tell you the have every right to keep some kind of relationship for there grandson sake. Sounds as if your hubby doesnt have the child much,so you need to be quiet in this matter,but you need to have a heart to heart with this man,sounds like you married without knowing much.....wish you lots of luck--but keep quiet not your place.
2007-07-25 12:12:05 · answer #8 · answered by keithleyjustin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have your husband talk to her and the family and say its not right. If she ends up taking the kid away then your husband needs to go to court and get visation rights . But thats not fair to you. If i was in your situations i would be so mad and angry that they are doing this i wouldnt go and just say its either her or me. Good luck
2007-07-25 12:07:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's just ridiculous. Doesn't your husband have some sort of visitation rights? They should not be inviting her to any family functions. It's your husband's responsibility to ensure his son sees his aunts, uncles and grandparents not hers. If they can't respect you then I'd stop going to the functions.
2007-07-25 12:09:03 · answer #10 · answered by rcButterfly 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋