please help!! im 14 and my parents are getting a divorce after 25 years of marriage. ;( whats happening?!?

Question

i told my mom where i wanted to live and stuff. talking to my parents really didnt help because they dont know what theyre going to do, and they are still in the arguement. i feel so sick and worried about this that i cant eat anything, and my mom thinks im doing this on purpose to blackmail her even though i told her i wasnt.

Answer 1

It's all your fault! I'm seriously just kidding. Don't think that it is because of you. Your parents fell out of love with each other not you. Your parents are falling into a rut in thier lives. It happens because they get caught up in life and forget about one and another. Sometimes they get caught up in work ( not having enough time to spend with the family), sometimes its because they get bored with each other. But none of this your fault. You are gonna see some changes, you might have to live with one of your parents. You need to have a say in who you live with, so let them know who you would like to live with.
Your parents might argue but if the have any respect they would not bring you into the middle of it.

Answer 2

Don't take their divorce personally. The relationship didn't work out between the two of them. They probably tried really hard to make it work, but they just weren't compatible enough. It's difficult to be in a relationship when you're not compatible with someone and they'll be happier apart.

They would have still divorced, even if you hadn't been born, so don't think it's your fault--it's not! They'll still love you just the same, just not as a couple.

It's best to make peace with the situation, knowing your parents will be happier apart. Have you ever had a best friend, but then you grew apart and couldn't get along any more or didn't agree about a lot of things, so stopped hanging out together? If so, you were sad the relationship didn't work out, but knew it was for the best, and that you'd be happiest apart in the long run.

Answer 3

I was 15 when my parents got divorced. It was very grim. I felt lost and angry. My friends were a great support to me through that time. I did not see my Dad for almaost a year after they split and my mom said not very nice things about him. I held a lot of resentment towards her for that. Just as I did you will come out the other side. Just make an effort to ignore negative comments. Being 14 it might be hard to understand that this is a really crazy stressful and sad time for both of them too. I'm sure if you let you let them know how you feel and assure them you empathize with them as well you can all support each other and develope an even better relationship. These are the times when people learn and grow and come to understand who they are a little better. Be strong. Not bitter!

Answer 4

sweetie, I was 15 when mine divorced. I know it hurts, but it is not your fault!! They both still love you, but they can't be together anymore for whatever reason. They are doing the best thing in the long run...really they are. Everyone will be so much happier. I know it might seem like the end of the world right now, been there done that. But they both love you and your siblings (if you have any) SO much, don't forget that. And you are still a family, don't forget that either. It's hard to adjust to at first, but once you get used to it it'll all work out and everyone will be so much happier in the end. I am 25 now, so that was 10 years ago, but I still remember what it felt like. Email me any time you want, I'm here to help!

Answer 5

Well darling, they probably stuck it out for your sake up until now, but I guess they just can't live with each other another second....time waits for no one.

Perhaps they were in love at one time, but people grow apart. When you start off with foolish dreams and don't have your feet planted firmly in the ground these things happen.

People just seem to go their own way rather than walk the same path together...after 25 years of being separate, I would say there is nothing left between them except maybe fondness and the love they have for you.

So wish them well that they find thier own happiness. This does not mean they no longer love you becasue they do.

I know it's hard for you, but you're getting to be a big girl now, and you will learn the world is not an easy place to live in.

You will find yourself forming a new relationship with each of your parents. They, and you, will be ok in the long run.

Answer 6

I was 26 when my parents were divorcing after 26 years of marriage...so I can understand what you are going through. However, I had a little bit better grasp because of my age and the fact that I was married, myself. Anyway, first of all, remember this: This isn't YOUR fault, and your parents are still your parents and they don't love you any less. Since you are inquisitive as to what is happening, if you can talk to them, please sit down and ask them. I hope that they can remember that they are still your parents and give you an honest answer. I'm sorry that you are going through this, but I can tell you that I see my parents are so much happier apart and I wouldn't have them back together for anything.

Answer 7

It happens, simple as breathing.

There is nothing wrong with it, and nothing that could be done about it. No matter how much they hate each other, they still, somewhere deep down still care about each other. Understand that they will be happier once it is over, because they will be able to meet and talk on their own time when they are ready.

Don't try to fix it, it will only leave you hurting. Stoping a divorce is like trying to stop the hoover dam from breaking. It is best to let it happen, and watch it on the other side. After all the damage is done, then you will see a smooth flowing river.

Answer 8

Throughout the whole thing, remember one thing...it has nothing to do with you and nothing is your fault. If your parents are not happy together then you would want them to do what it takes so that they are both happy, this will make you more happy as well. You will also get more attention from both parents so that they can make sure that you are doing ok. It happens, and you will have to adjust to it. They will be going through rough times, and while they are, try to stay out of it and do not do anything to put more stress on either parent. Be supportive of them and what they think is best. Trust me, it will pay off in the long run.

Answer 9

If your parents are getting divorced please be assured that they have done everything they can to help their relationship and they are just not happy together. Thats ok! I don't want to sit here and tell you that just no they love you cuz iam sure you know that already. But know that it has nothing to do with you and its all between them, and their are things that you don't know and won't understand till your older. Iam 20 years old and my parents are getting a divorced too after 25 years and i always thought they would be together, but after they seperated my mom moved out and she was just much happier, she still talks to my dad and they still go to lunch and stuff but they are happier that way. sometimes you just need a break but while you are going through this hard time just try to remember thats its not about you, there were times b4 when you needed help and there will be again but right now it's about your parents and whats good for them and their happiness, they would want you to be happy so just think that it's not about you it's about your mom and dad this time, they both need help so don't complicate things just relize who's really the ones that are unhappy and having trouble and try to help them by being there for them. if you feel you want to talk to someone about it just write me and ill be happy to help [e-mail]

Answer 10

I know it hurts but there's not much you can do about it. It's their decision, not yours. I know if affects you deeply but it may be better this way so as there is not lots of fighting around the house all the time.

When I was your age I thought my parents were going to get a divorce and just them fighting was enough to put me in the dumps a lot.

Learn from your parents mistakes so that when you get older you can marry the right person and make your marriage work.