Wife falling out of love with me....what can I do?

Question

Been married 2.5 years, and although there wasn't much sex, I thought we were getting along fine. Now she started a new job, she's saying she's having crushes on other people, and she's not "in love" with me anymore. I want to win her heart back and am not willing to separate yet. I've always been the kind of guy who helps her out around the house a lot, massages her, stuff like that. Should I put a stop to all of that and make her feel what it would be like if I didn't love her and treat her good? Or should I keep it up, maybe try some other things....take her on trips, out to dinner, anything else you can think of???
I feel really lost lately. I don't understand how she can marry me, and now so soon after decide that she wants to date other people. But of course she want's to keep me around too because I'm such a great "friend"! Well I aint having that! She hasn't cheated yet, but has said she has felt temped to. What think? Any hope for our marriage?

Answer 1

try walking around the house with a cheese-danish stuffed in your pants, grow some sideburns, and listen to Neil Diamond CDs constantly. Chicks dig that.

Answer 2

Sounds like you have made it all to easy for her and she is spoiled beyond what is good. First off, you need to shut down the help, massages and stuff like that. Do not take her on a trip and do not try to buy her back. She will only see that as weakness and despise you for it. Do not be available for her all the time, cut off the benefits of being your wife and being married to you. Don't come home right away from work, make a stop some place chat with some of the friendly natives of the opposite sex. Then when you get home and she asks where you were, just tell her you were at the bar talking to Sherry or Cassie or whatever her name was...Do not hide it and do not apologize for it. She will either stand and fight for you or she will not give a hoot. Also, have you told her that if she even thinks of cheating that you will sew her hole shut with a fish hook and fish line?

Answer 3

If she's going to cheat, it's going to be out of curiousity on her part and not due to a lack of anything you aren't doing at home. Having crushes on other people you meet is not that abnormal. And, I don't care how long you've been married. However, your extent of committment to the person you are married to will determine whether or not you act on any of those crushes and whether they become something more than just a crush.

If she's able to talk to you about it now and tell you that she's having these feelings, she's probably not going to go behind your back and do it. It may happen (her cheating), but it will likely be a curiosity, one-time thing. I'm not saying that is ok for her to do and you'll have to decide if/when it happens if you can get past that and keep going in the marriage. I would prepare myself for it happening, though. But, if/when it does, she'll probably come to you and tell you.

Answer 4

There is always hope. If you are doing all those "chores" in hopes to win her heart, then stop. Would she do things that she normally wouldn't do to win your heart? She has to be willing to meet you half way...but looks like you're making it so she only has to turn around and not even take a step towards you. Talk with her. Ask her if she values the marriage...enough to work on it because every marriage takes work for both people involved. Ask her what the marriage lacks and if she is willing to work at it with you. Listen to what she says and really understand what she means...because sometimes, people say one thing and it means another. Get to know her...let her get to know you. It is a good sign that she is letting you know that she is interested in other people, it may mean that she wants you to do something about it to stop her from possibly cheating. If she really wanted to cheat, she could've kept her mouth shut and slept around with other men. Maybe it's her way (her last attempt) of reaching out to you. Don't wait too long...get away with her for a couple of days or so, reconnect and learn to communicate with each other. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

I think she's having second thoughts about having gotten married. If SHE feels she might be tempted to cheat, then that's not good. If she wants to see other people, that's not good either, unless you want to just deal with it, stay with her, and do the same. I think you should sit yourself down, and ask yourself if you're willing to take the risk (emotionally speaking) that this woman poses. It's maybe a phase that she'll pass through. Lots of women in the mid to late twenties go through it. They wonder if they made the right choice, if they're where they want to be, if they have a purpose...all sorts of things like that. If you love her, treat her like you love her, BUT...love yourself too. If you're not willing to walk through this trial with her, then let her know that. Better to find out now 2 1/2 years later, than 10 years later...TRUST ME, I know. There is hope for any marriage as long as BOTH parties want it. Personally, I'd wait on my spouse to see if they snapped out of it, but only for a very specific amount of time. If after that time they were still "confused" about whether they wanted to be with ME or not...I'd make the decision for them. No one can wait forever, and you deserve what you want and need just as much as she does. I would not be a standby, by no means.

Answer 6

how did the families feel about the marriage? maybe they are telling her that it was not a good idea, that she is too young and has too much to live for still. if they are she may be listening. its not that she does not love you any more she is probably scared and feels held back. give her a little space and some room to grow. let her go out with the girls, go out with her together, be young. go to the bars, the movies, long walks in the park or at the beach. romance her all over again. start making love not just having sex. show her you appreciate her, and also that you can take control sometimes too.

Answer 7

Yes, there is still hope! Sex is one ingredient in marriage that should not be taken lightly because that is when a man and a woman have a complete union in body, spirit and soul. Keep doing what your doing. Do to her what your doing before when your courting her. Make her realise that she's still your queen and nothing in the world can take that away from you. For sure she's longing for your touch, kisses, caress. And your the only one that can satisfy her need but be gentle in doing that .
The most important thing of course is commit to God your marriage, God will do the rest.
God bless your marriage!

Answer 8

Put alot of attention into her.
It sounds like she's looking for the attention from other guys because she isn't getting enough from you. Not saying that you were doing it on purpose, it's just alot of times those things slip away from our relationships. And that's what keeps the romance and love growing.

Tell her how much she means to you.
Tell her how much you love her.
Tell her how much you were looking forward to spending the rest of your life with her.

Then try showing her how much you love her.
Just by doing little things for her.
Helping her around the house.
Cooking dinner for her or atleast with her.
Taking her out on romantic dates.
but don't go getting intimate all the time when you are doing these things for her, or she'll think that's the ONLY reason you are being so caring towards her.
In other words, show her what she'll be missing if she leaves you.

Then all you can do is sit back and wait to see if her feelings change.
Hopefully she will have second thoughts about her love for you and decide to put more work into your relationship.

The way us (women) see things, is the way it was in the beginning of our relationships. We like to think that's it's always going to be that way. And reality hits, and it doesn't stay the same. I'm not saying the "love" doesn't stay the same, but we forget how important it is to show how much we love each other. We just expect the other one to "know" how much we love each other.
That's why relationships take alot of work in order to make them last. Because we have to constantly show people how much we care about them and not take for granted that they know how much we care.

She may not be feeling the same "in love" feelings for you that she used to have, so you need to remind her how those feelings felt.
Put the spark back into the flame.
Then take it from there.

I wish you the best :)

Answer 9

She's not worth it! If you're doing all those sweet things for her and she still doesn't appreciate you then just leave. There are millions of woman out there who'd give anything to have a guy like you. Why waste it on someone who's too immature to handle a real relationship. There's a true love for everyone and if she's not in love with you then that means there is someone else out there that really is meant for you and will give you the love and support you deserve.

Answer 10

Of course theres hope for your marriage. Sex is just as important to a guy as it is to a girl even if its for different reasons. A woman has sex and accepts it because thats how we know that you are still attracted to us. Yeah i know insane, Just be direct "I love you" could be the best thing to do. Sometimes its more of what you can say that what you can do for her don't lose hope. Good Luck.

Answer 11

Don't waste your hard earned $ on her..If she says she thinking about cheating she probably already is. I would look for an attorney if I were you. But if you really love her try counseling..If that don't work proceed with a divorce..Buying her materials won't win her back, it will just piss you off even more after spending money on her while she's f**king you over and you will definitely resent that when it's all over....Good luck.....If there's no kids then I would dump her a*s..